Just got back from my medical appointment and I was just about OK with the physical MOT "slightly underweight but that's to be expected" and my blood pressure was "the best it's been for a long time" which was a huge shock, considering the last couple of months but I held it together during that, just about then went to sit in the waiting room for my second appointment and within literally two questions about Steve I was in floods of tears. I stopped crying for long enough to leave the surgery and come home, but the instant the door closed, the tears started pouring out and haven't stopped.
I've got the number for a crisis line now which I've never had in my life before, so they must have been worried now that I'm totally alone other than my in-laws and I've gotta go back in 6 months time for another review to see how I'm coping... I suppose I should be grateful that it's not a weekly thing, but to have two mental health MOTs in the same year is slightly worrying.
They are fully aware of everything now though, so hopefully they will be more able to support me at short notice in future, if it's necessary... I hope it isn't, obviously, but hopefully they will be able to support me with other things and finding out who I am now that I'm a young Yule widow.
It's been 8 days since I last indulged in a bar of chocolate and I've got two cartons still in the fridge from last week, so I'm gonna overindulge in my addiction and the world can sod off if it decides that it knows what is best for me.
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