Just venting again

I just need to let this out otherwise I'll explode.

I gave up everything for Steve back in 1998 - 2 jobs that I loved, friends, the only home I'd ever known, my health etc.

What has he given up for me?

Fuck all.

He sees his family more in a week than I've seen my mum in half a decade.

My mum isn't getting any younger (72 years old), she can't drive and the buses to her village have now stopped so she's totally stranded in the middle of nowhere.

I haven't seen my mum since August 2010.

Steve sees his sister every Monday, his brother when there's motor racing or rugby on the telly and his parents every 6 weeks when we get our hair cut.

When he lost his job at the end of his contract I immediately started looking for jobs for him and sent him the URLs on Skype, taken messages on the phone for him, answer the front door whenever someone knocks on it and I've encouraged him to apply for benefits because his savings are below the threshold now and it takes 6-8 weeks for the decision to be made and even longer if you appeal.

What has he done for me?

Fuck all.

He's my carer but I'm not his.

I'm disabled, he isn't.

Yet it's me that does everything for him without even him saying "thank you" occasionally.  He just expects me to look after him and do everything for him... he wants me to be his secretary and carer while he just lays on the bloody sofa fast a fucking sleep.

He expects me to tidy up after him, praise his occasional cooking, put the rubbish in the wheelie bin, take the recycling out every week and expects me to enjoy it.

Not any more.

I'm going to walk Mitzi every morning and feed her but that's it.  If the door goes, he can answer it.  If the phone goes I'm not going to take any more messages for him.  I'm not going to take his rubbish or recycling out and just for one week I'll do exactly what he does.  I'll concentrate on my writing and he'll just have to learn the hard way for the next week.

I get £400 a month in benefit money... that's less than a third of what he earns when he's got a job.  He's expecting me to pay for the groceries until he finds a new job which means I'll have less than nothing left for myself and he'll still expect me to be his carer while he just lounges on the fucking sofa fast asleep then wonders why he hasn't got a job yet!

I give up.  I'm about ready to jump under a bus right now.