I'm starting to shut everything down now so that I can head to bed as soon as I can.
Nite nite orl.
...passed, but I got a question wrong this time, so only managed 90% but a pass is still a pass!
I've taken my pills so I've just gotta wait for the side effects to kick in now and get ready to get cracking with the Christmas course tomorrow.
⭐⭐⭐⭐ out of 5
If you've read any of my more recent book reviews, you'll know that I start them all off by saying that they all start with the full 5 stars but I'm never shy about taking a star off and I give my reason for removing each star within my review.
I got this book for free with my Kindle Unlimited subscription and I don't remember reading any military fiction before, so this should be an interesting and very new experience for me!
Oooh! I've read 2 pages and I'm already hooked! I'm already hoping that I've got a 5 star book on my hands!
It started well, but I've already skipped forward several chapters... maybe, like with horror and thrillers, this just isn't my kinda book? I'm sure that it's right up the alley of some people, but it's just not floating my boat unfortunately so the first star is coming off :-(
Now we're getting somewhere... the first page of chapter 10 has got my interest back!
Nope, skipping forward again, so the first star is coming off... the majority of what I've read so far just isn't my kinda reading material - I'm sure this is a fantastic book if this is your usual style, but it just wouldn't be fair for me to keep reading and knocking stars off when it really isn't my kinda cup of tea. I'm gonna give it until 25% and that'll be the deciding factor for me.
Nope, I've skipped more than I've read... it's great writing and everything, but it's just not floating my boat unfortunately so be fair to everyone I'm gonna stop reading at 26% and leaving this review at 4 stars so that I can be fair to this great author, but honest with all the people reading this review too.
Me - a packet of crisps
Steve - 6 sausages and ¾ of a tray of chips
Both of us - vegetarian lasagne
Me - nothing
Steve - pizza
Tomorrow - Sunday look like this:
Me - nothing
Steve - instant soup
Me - nothing
Steve - 5 sausages and ¾ of a tray of chips
hopefully we'll both have curry, but if not then I'll have nothing and Steve will have sarnies
hopefully vegetarian pasta bolognaise, but if not then I'll have nothing and Steve will have sarnies again.
Basically Steve's gonna eat 21 times and I'll eat a maximum of 3 even though apparently he makes all my meals and drinks for me <shrug>
...finished and found no issues, so I've started the backups already and I'm hoping that they'll be finished and put away in time and with as little stress as possible so that I can go and make Steve an early lunch. I've just gotta drink another 6 drinking chocolates today to get my calories close to the minimum 'cos it's my second day this week without a proper meal in my belly.
...I won't be eating today after all 'cos Steve's just said that he wants his breakfast, which I've gone out and made for him, and my legs are too weak to be safe enough to make myself anything now, so it'll be a day of purely liquids at best.
Steve's had 7 meals and countless snacks made by me and all I've eaten since Saturday lunchtime is 6 biscuits, 3 mince pies, a packet of crisps and yesterday's lasagne lunch. Not good, but such are the realities of my life.
I won't be able to eat tomorrow 'cos that's instant soup for Steve and my legs won't hold me up for long enough to make one for myself, Friday is sausages and chips made by me again and I haven't got anything that I can have, so Steve'll be the only one eating again, which brings us to the weekend and the only two meals of the week that I can't make, so I just hope that Steve cooks at the weekend so that I can have three meals instead of just the lasagne I had yesterday.
How are you all doing this morning?
I'm doing OK so far, just totally cream crackered. I've remembered to start charging my phone up and not open my emails, so I'm just waiting for my anti-virus programme to open up so that I can set the weekly scan going.
I've taken my pills and Steve's fast asleep so it's gonna be another looong day of caring today. He's deeply asleep 'cos he's very clearly just given out his email address - even spelt it!
Steve's woken up and gone for a wee, so I'm gonna publish this and go and make myself a drink.
...fed for the 6th time in 2 days and I've decided that I'm definitely gonna be having breakfast tomorrow as it'll be my only meal of the day.
I'm only 9 minutes away from caring for my carer for 12 hours today, which takes the weekly total up to 25 hours and 25 minutes, so I've just gotta put in 9 hours and 35 minutes of care tomorrow to hit the minimum required, while my carer has only managed 29 minutes so far, so is already 9 hours and 31 minutes behind schedule and it's only gonna be a couple of minutes of care tomorrow if he makes my bottle of squash for me overnight, so I don't reckon he'll even reach 2 hours again this week 'cos there are only 2 meals that he needs to cook this week which take about half an hour each.
It'll be 19-2 minimum, to me with cooking this week and there's a very real chance that today's lunch will be the only cooked food I get all week. Steve'll eat 21 meals and multiple snacks and drinks, just like every week, and I'll eat a maximum of 3 lunches again this week.
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ out of 5
I just wanted a simple, reliable, USB chargeable watch with a couple of decent alarms and that's exactly what I got with this watch.
It's a touch frustrating having to go through all 15 alarms when I accidentally press the button too many times, but to get 16 days charge out of it and for it to go from 20% to 90% charged in under an hour is just incredible.
The alarms are strong and the watch is soo easy to use when you've got the hang of it and I haven't slept through my alarm or missed a single pill (my two main reasons for getting this watch) the entire time it's been on my wrist.
I haven't tested the waterproofness of it yet and I'm not sure I will.
It's great that you don't need to connect it up to any wires, like I had to with my two previous watches, you just carefully slide it out of the strap, plug it into a USB port and that's it!
The best money I've spent in a long time.
Just had my first meal since Saturday lunchtime and it tasted sooo good! I had 6 biscuits and 3 mince pies on Sunday and a packet of crisps yesterday, so they don't really count as proper meals, but I made sure I ate today 'cos it's potentially my only meal until the weekend 'cos I've just realised that even if I cook my pizza at the same time as Steve's, I won't be able to eat it 'cos we've only got one pizza cutter which I'll use to cut Steve's up first and because he's got a meaty pizza, the vegetarian in me won't let me use the same thing, so my veggie pizza will go to waste.
It was just a simple vegetarian lasagne ready meal today that I just bunged into the oven for 45 minutes, so far from Gordon Black, but it's all I can make safely.
Steve's got meaty meals between tomorrow and Friday, so I won't be eating again until Saturday, when it's curry and Sunday is a vegetarian pasta bolognaise so if Steve doesn't fancy cooking at the weekend, today's lasagne is my only meal of the week. Steve'll be OK 'cos he's got sliced meat and cheese slices in the fridge so he can have sandwiches on the days he doesn't feel up to cooking, but I haven't got anything else that I can have so could today be my only meal of the week??
Here's today's lunch photo:
...the first meal (as opposed to 6 biscuits, 3 mince pies and a packet of crisps) since last Saturday lunchtime and it's only 'cos I'm cooking it that it's happening at all! I haven't even been able to have breakfast because Steve's used all of the bowls for his breakfast each morning so this is making me drool.
It could be my only lunch until the weekend unless I'm stable enough to make my own lunch again tomorrow after I've cooked, plated and brought in Steve's for him. I'm not thinking too far ahead, just wanna get this meal inside me first.
It's only 412 calories, but it's better than I'll potentially have until the weekend (if my carer decides to cook then) and I've got 4 bottles of pop in the fridge that I can have for the rest of the week to try and get a few calories inside me - far from healthy, but better than nothing.
...there were lots of Steve's things unavailable and 1 substitution which of course was my fault.
Today's totals now look like this:
My stuff: £0.00
Steve's stuff: £28.62
Joint stuff: £6.40
I've added the things that were unavailable to next weeks order which has sent things waaaay over budget and breaks down like this:
My stuff: £0.00
Steve's stuff: £38.74
Joint stuff: £17.99
As long as Steve gets the things he wants, then nothing else matters and that's OK, right?
How are you doing this morning?
I'm cold, tired and hungry, but I've still cared for my carer for very nearly an hour this morning.
To give him credit, my carer made me a bottle of squash overnight, so he's only 4 hours and 58 minutes behind the daily target now. Our groceries are due this morning so I might get 15 minutes of support out of him when/if he helps to put them away but I'll be making lunch again (and hopefully be able to eat for the first time this week) so he'll only be 9 hours and 43 minutes behind by bedtime.
An hour and 10 minutes of support from me this morning.
The daily virus scan has finished and didn't find any nasties, so that's reassuring.
I've taken my morning pills so I'm dosed up until lunchtime now.
Time to crack on with the news until Steve wakes up and wants his 4th meal of the week made by me.
...carer cared for for over 11 hours today, so I've just gotta wait for him to wake up then I can head off to bed for the first time this week.
I'll be able to eat tomorrow 'cos we're both having a veggie lasagne each, so it'll be my first proper meal for 3 days by then but that'll be it until the weekend then 'cos it's all Steve's meals until then and it's curry on Saturday and pasta bolognaise on Sunday if Steve feels able to cook both days because they are both meals that I can't do myself, so if Steve doesn't feel up to cooking, tomorrow will be my only meal of the week.
I had crisps and pop on tomorrow's order, which I've just had to take off so that Steve could get more meat for his sandwiches for the next 7 days, so the totals for the next four shops look like this:
My stuff: £0.00
Steve's stuff: £33.94
Joint stuff: £8.97
My stuff: £0.00
Steve's stuff: £28.49
Joint stuff: £17.99
My stuff: £0.00
Steve's stuff: £43.06
Joint stuff: £4.10
My stuff: £0.00
Steve's stuff: £30.46
Joint stuff: £14.59
Do you notice a trend amongst those four shops? January is gonna be the same too... basically what I've got in the house now has to last me until at least the middle of January before I'm even allowed to start thinking of getting stuff that I can eat now. The last 2 weeks have been good while they lasted, but I'll have to get used to only eating 3 meals a week (if that) for the next two months now.
...that's how long it's been since I had my last proper meal.
All I've eaten in those hours is 6 biscuits, 3 mince pies and a packet of crisps which is the same as Steve eats between having his breakfast and lunch every day.
Steve's eaten 23 full meals (it'll be 24 when he wakes up from his afternoon snooze) and countless snacks in 8 days compared to my 6 full meals, the biscuits, mince pies and crisps in the same amount of time.
I've cared for my carer for 10 hours and 6 minutes so far today and he hasn't cared for me at all since making me a bottle of squash in the early hours of yesterday morning. I've cared for my carer today alone just under 7 times more than he achieved for the entirity of last week combined.
Steve's cared for me for 11 hours and 58 minutes over the last 8 weeks combined, which is pretty much what I do in one single day. It also means that it would take him 24 weeks before he put in what he's paid to do for one week. I usually hit the minimum by the time I head to bed on a Wednesday.
He's awake now, so I'd best go and make his tea for him.
...fed for the 23rd time in 7½ days and me still only having eaten 6 times in the same amount of time. This is my second day on the trot of only having liquid in my stomach and not having eaten anything other than 6 biscuits and 3 mince pies since this time on Saturday. I'm missing my 17th meal and Steve hasn't missed a single one. Steve has made 3 meals for me and I've made 18 of his. I make him several hot drinks a day and he hasn't made me one single one for about 18 months - he tells anyone who will listen that he "make[s] all her meals and drinks for her" though <shrug>
...I've somehow put on 900g in the last week, so having to miss 15 meals last week was a blessing in disguise and seemingly doesn't matter if I miss the same again this week.
Steve's chowing down on his first meal of the week and I'm missing my first one of the week so that I can save the other clean bowl for Steve's breakfast tomorrow. He's having sausages and chips for his lunch today and I need to save the bread for Steve's tea today and tomorrow, so I'm going without eating anything at all for the second day in a row.
I've downloaded last week's FitBit spreadsheet, so I need to code and upload that now, while Steve's eating, then he'll fall asleep until lunchtime when he'll wake up hungry and wanting his lunch which I'll have to go and make for him, then he'll snooze away the afternoon until he wants his third meal of the day which I'll have to make for him too.
Best go and put the spreadsheet up before he finishes his breakfast.
I've remembered to start my monthly virus scan this morning and it's already 11% of the way through, which is great. Next up is to take my morning pills then make Steve's breakfast for him. He's the only one eating again today, 'cos it's sausages and chips for him and nothing for me 'cos he's the only one who has got sausages and my vegetarianism means that I can't have anything cooked on the same tray as meat, so I'm missing 7 meals in 3 days today.
Our rubbish and recycling is due to be picked up today, so I've gotta be ready for that after 7am.
I'd best take my morning pills before I forget... hold on please.
OK, that's my pills down the hatch, so that's it until lunchtime now.
I've cared for my carer for 70 minutes so far this morning and gone through one set of news, so next up is the news that I put on here.
...and I didn't lose one of them tonight, reassuringly lol
Steve decided to waste his last sandwich and wants 3 instead of 4 tomorrow. I'm gonna take his plate through to the kitchen and have a well-deserved early night tonight I reckon.
...his third meal of the day and all I've had are 6 biscuits since yesterday lunchtime. I've cared for my carer for 11 hours so far today, which takes the running total up to 84 hours and 56 minutes.
I've edited Tuesday's grocery order and taken off the pack of 18 toilet rolls 'cos this weeks are still in the cupboard, untouched, so I've added 8 packets of crisps to the order instead so I'll be able to eat *something* on the days that Steve's the only one eating a proper meal... unless they aren't in stock on Tuesday of course lol
I'm gonna publish this now 'cos I've had the reminder come up to take my last two pills of the week and I hope I don't lose the 5mg one today lol
...a drink since this morning, so I'm gonna give it until I've finished my mug of tea then go and make his 21st meal of the week (16 of which will have been made by me). I haven't eaten anything since yesterday lunchtime now, but that doesn't seem to matter and tomorrow will be another calorie free day 'cos Steve's having sausages and chips for his lunch which means my only chance of eating will be for breakfast and if I have to miss that again then I'll be reliant on drinks for my calories, just like I have today.
I'll hopefully be able to have lunch on Tuesday 'cos that's a lasagne each, so it can just be bunged into the oven for 25 minutes... I'm predicting right now, at 5.23pm on Sunday, that I'll be making all the meals until Saturday and that it'll be a 3 meal week again 'cos Steve's having sausages and chips twice, instant soup on Thursday and pizza on Wednesday and there is only one pizza sheet, so I'll only be eating on Tuesday, Saturday and Sunday at best while Steve'll be eating 3 meals a day, every day again.
I'm making another prediction, at 5.28pm on Sunday, that I'll be underweight when I weigh myself tomorrow morning and I'll have lost even more weight the week after.
So much for wanting and needing to put weight on eh?
...another thing off this afternoon's to-do list, which now looks like this:
My belly is rumbling like a good'un after not eating since yesterday, but Steve's eaten 20 meals this week, so that's OK right? 😡
...things off this afternoon's to-do list, which now looks like this:
Steve's just rejected me making him a hot drink, so I'd best crack on with the washing up so that I've got a clear sink to refill the kettle in when he changes his mind the instant I come in to sit down. It'll give me a few minutes to get rid of my anger and frustration so that I can go back to being understanding, kind and supportive again this afternoon.
...7 hours and 1 minute of care for my carer today and it's taken him the best part of an hour to eat 4 sandwiches.
I'd best adjust the food list before I forget again lol
OK, that's the list updated and Steve's got one more mouthful to go, an hour after I brought his lunch in for him, so when he's finished eating, I'll go and put the extra food waste he's created out, then sort out the rubbish, then do the dishes then hopefully not have to move for the rest of the afternoon 'cos it just won't be safe for me at that point.
...first thing on my to-do list for this afternoon crossed off, so the list now looks like this:
Steve's only half way through his lunch and I've got next week's tabs ready on the caring spreadsheet, so I'm just waiting for Steve to finish eating so that I can deal with the rubbish for this week.
I might stick the kettle on while he's pondering on finishing off his other two sandwiches so that I can make the best use of the time he's actually awake this afternoon. I'm predicting now that he'll decide he's too full to finish off his lunch though... I was wrong, he's just started on the third sandwich, so I'll update the list of food we've got available while I'm waiting for him to chomp away for the 20th meal this week (compared to my 6 meals).
When JanNo finishes and I'm allowed to start eating again in the third week of January, I'll spend a week not making any meals or drinks and waiting to see how long it is before Steve starts complaining that he's hungry or thirsty. Apparently he makes all my meals and drinks for me, so it shouldn't happen at all, right?
As of 12.50pm today, I've cared for my carer for 80 hours and 16 minutes this week (6 hours and 22 minutes so far today) and my carer has cared for me for 89 minutes all week. I can't see him doing anything to support me this afternoon but I'll be taking out the rubbish and caring for him all afternoon. I've already cared for my carer for well over double the minimum required and he's yet to even reach 2 hours for the week... you all know that rant by now though, right?
I was right this morning, when I said my calories today would come from drinks alone. I've had 2 drinking chocolates so far today and I'm sooo thirsty right now, but I can't have a hot drink 'cos we've only got caffeinated drinks left and I've already had all the caffeine I'm allowed in a week, so I'll be going thirsty as well as hungry today by the looks of things.
My watch is vibrating, so I'd best take my last lunchtime pill of the week while Steve's eating, then I'll:
If I remember to take my last lunchtime pill of the week, that'll be every single one taken at the right time this week which hasn't happened in a looong time!
...pretty easy 13 hour day today 'cos I'm less than half an hour away from putting in a 5 hour day already. If I make it to 13 hours and 4 minutes today, it'll be an 87 hour week for me and my carer won't even have achieved 90 minutes for the week.
I won't bore you with the rant you prolly all know backwards by now 😉
...liquids 'cos Steve doesn't want to do the washing up, let alone cook, so he'll be having 2 lots of sandwiches today (ie 8 slices of bread and 10 slices of ham along with either mustard "if it arrives in time for you to make my lunch for me" or 8 slices of cheese and 12-16 heaped knives full of pickle). Basically he's expecting me to make all of his meals today and he's eating the same amount in one day as I did between Monday and Thursday this week... apparently he makes all my meals and drinks for me though <shrug>
...I'm missing at least two, if not all 3 meals today 'cos Steve's got the only clean bowl for his breakfast because the washing up fairies didn't wave their magic wands overnight. There's only one clean plate too, so if the washing up isn't done before lunchtime, only one of us can eat then too. I suppose I should be grateful that I've had 3 lunches and breakfasts this week instead of my usual 2 of each <shrug>
How are you all diddling this morning?
I've just run the daily virus scan and taken my morning pills, so I'm all set for the day now. I put in just over 13 hours of care for my carer yesterday so only need to put in 11 hours and 4 minutes of care today to hit the 85 weekly hours. My carer has provided 1 hour and 29 minutes of care for both of us this week so I doubt he'll even reach 2 hours this week, instead of the well over 35 hours that he says he does and is the minimum requirement to be recognised as and paid for being a carer. You all know that rant off by heart now though lol
Gotta remember not to open my emails tomorrow morning 'cos of the monthly virus scan and I've gotta weigh myself too. What do you reckon will have happened to my weight tomorrow? I desperately want to have put weight on, but I only ate 3 times between Monday and Thursday so I'm thinking that I'll have lost weight, but I pigged out on Friday and yesterday, so I'm hoping that will have helped. As long as I'm still within the healthy weight range for my height then that's OK, but I wanna be at the top rather than the bottom of the range before the end of December 'cos of not being able to eat until Steve's got through his meat mountain again. It's only about 4-6 weeks a year that I go without any kind of food at all, so that's far from ideal, but not too bad. I could have bread and dairy free spread to rapidly increase my calories at the start of this year, but I can't even have that now 'cos Steve needs all the bread for his sandwiches so I'm gonna be losing more and more weight but Steve just doesn't care as long as he eats 3 meals and multiple snacks and drinks each day.
That was a looong paragraph lol
Gotta go and make Steve's first meal of the day now.
I've taken one of my last two pills of the day and I couldn't take the second one because it jumped out of the packet and I can't find it. My carer's attempt at helping was to shine the light on his mobile straight into my eyes which blinded me for several seconds after he realised what was going on and that's what the optician told me to avoid last time I had my sight tested 'cos I'm at risk of getting a detatched retina and astigmatism because my sight is so bad now, so if/when I go blind, Steve will have made it happen sooner by "helping" me look for the pill tonight.
Apparently I'm making our lunch again tomorrow too, which means he'll have made 3 of my 5 meals and I'll have made 16 of his 21 meals <shrug>
I'm off to beddy-byes with a third of the prescribed dose in me tonight.
Nite nite orl.
Was a gorgeous vegetarian chicken korma curry for lunch today and I even rounded it off with a can of fruit cocktail, so I got all of my 5 portions of fruit and veg in two meals today and I'm certainly noticing the difference in how I'm feeling now to when I only have a couple a day... it sounds weird, but my body feels cleaner almost and like it's breathing a huge, relaxed sigh of relief? I'm more awake and like I can handle whatever comes my way this afternoon. I know that might sound totally fruitloop but I don't know how to describe it any other way.
Here are today's two lunch photos:
My daily virus scan found one "advanced issue" that is now being resolved and I'm pretty sure I know what that issue was, but that file is now protected and I'm safe again. It's things like that which make me grateful for doing the daily scans as well as the weekly and monthly scans and I'm gonna keep on doing them so that I can protect all the files on my machine. It frustrates Steve that I can't open my email until each scan is finished, but I really don't care TBH - I'd rather be protected and safe with his frustration for a little while each week and month, than to not run any of the scans and put myself and all my contacts at risk. Better safe than sorry is my go-to phrase with computers and always has been <shrug>
...having a pud each after our curries at lunchtime!
There are a couple of tins of mixed fruit that we bought a couple of weeks ago that have just been sitting there ever since, so as long as we're not too full after we've had the curry, we'll have a bowl of fruit each too! We've just got mince pies from yesterday's tea to get through then lol
Just my usual brekkie again this morning - Tropical fruits granola and loadsa soya milk.
I've got a coffee on the go too, so I'm not allowed any more caffeine this week 'cos I've already had two and my GP said I was only allowed 2-3 lots of caffeine a week and I think I had 3 mugs of coffee last week. We're right at the bottom of our jar of coffee now though, so there's only enough left for maybe 2 or at a push 3 mugs left then I can crack open the new jar of decaff at the same time as the new jar of caffeinated.
I've seriously struggled to hit 2.5 litres of liquid each day without my decaff instant coffees being available lol
Here's the photo of my breakfast this morning:
How are you all doing this morning?
I've had a pretty productive morning so far - I've been putting together a few questions for my GP about something I read on Facebook last night and I've updated a document about something that happened yesterday and taken my morning pills and I've just had my breakfast.
Apparently we're having slightly yellow rice with our curry lunch today but hopefully not as much Turmeric (sp?) as last time lol
I've got a coffee on the go now, so I'm gonna put the photo of my breakfast up on here and Instagram after I've started the virus scan.
I've put in a 12 hour day today and I've put in 59 hours and 40 minutes of care so far this week, so I'm gonna head to bed now and I only need to put in 24 hours and 20 minutes of care to be able to hit 85 hours this week, in comparison to my carer's 59 minutes of care, so he needs to cram over 34 hours of care into two days (ie 17 hours each day) to even hit the minimum, which just ain't gonna happen in reality - I haven't even managed a 17 hour day so there's no way that my carer will manage it two days on the trot! If he cooks both days of the weekend, there's a chance that he might just about scrape through 2 hours if he helps to put the rubbish and recycling out on Sunday, but that's nowhere near the 35 hour minimum required to be recognised as a carer!
I'm gonna sign off for the night now.
Nite nite orl.
Cor lummy have I overdone it today!
Not only did I have breakfast this morning, but I had 4 biscuits and 2 packets of crisps a couple of hours later and then I've just had a huuuge lunch of vegetarian pasta bolognaise. Doubt I'll be eating or drinking anything other than water before tomorrow morning now.
It's vegetarian chicken korma for lunch tomorrow and we're both looking forward to it already... I just hope I've got room for it in my belly by then lol
Here's today's lunch photo:
For my fourth meal of the week, I just had a bowl of my usual Tropical fruits granola and soya milk.
It's supposed to be vegetarian pasta bolognaise for lunch, but I won't be holding my breath 'cos I've only had one lunch so far this week.
Here's my breakfast photo:
How are you all doing this morning?
I've already taken my morning pills, done one set of news, cared for my carer for over 2 hours and made his 13th meal (11th made by me) of the week and amazingly had my 4th meal of the week too! The virus scan was reassuringly clear and I've just asked Steve if he's still up for making lunch for us and he goes "yeah, I s'pect so" but I won't believe it until it's on a plate in front of me.
I've taken a photo of my breakfast, so I'll put that up now and go and get Steve laundry going for him again, then keep caring for him until lunchtime.
There was an update on my FitBit at some point, so I had to install that before I could charge it up this morning - all sorted now though and I know that it can go down to 71% and still record my sleep so it won't be so urgent to do it at bedtime any more and if it stays at the same percentage of battery for more than a day, that means that there's an update to install.
...my carer's third meal of the day for him, so he's eaten 12 times this week and I've eaten 3. He's made one of my meals and I've made 10 of his.
The washing up fairies have been at work so I can have breakfast tomorrow, as long as it's safe for me to stand up for long enough after I've made my carer's 13th meal of the week and it'll mean that I'm not totally reliant on liquids again.
I've cared for my carer for 10 hours and 20 minutes so far today, which takes my weekly total up to 46 hours and 18 minutes, compared to my carer's weekly total of 32 minutes, so he's gotta provide 34 hours and 28 minutes of care for me in 3 days and I've already put in significant overtime without being paid or recognised for it.
My belly is already rumbling after only eating 3 times so far this week and I really don't wanna get underweight again, but I'm rarely given the choice.
...the last 3 weeks of December and I'll be eating a maximum of 5 times during those 3 weeks and if it's anything like the start of November then it'll be at least 2 weeks before Steve makes enough of a dent in his meat mountain in the fridge and freezers before I can even start thinking about maybe being able to eat.
If JanNo is anything like NaNo was, I won't even be able to eat bread and spread 'cos we need to save 2-3 loaves a week for Steve's tea each evening so if I finish in the first week it's gonna be at least the middle of January before anything other than water and drinking chocolate and maybe the occasional instant soup passes my lips. I'm sure I'll be eating again before the end of January again though, right Steve?
I'll have 10 months to put on the weight that I've lost between 1st November and the end of JanNo, so it's no biggie that I'll be at least 3kg underweight by that point, right?
...his 11th meal of the week (9th made by me) and I'm missing my 8th meal of the week because Steve didn't fancy making the lunch after all, so he's made one of my 3 meals this week and I've made 9 of his 11. I've made him at least 3 or 4 drinks a day and he hasn't made me a single one (other than bottles of squash a couple of times a week) for about 3 or 4 years when I first started making him hot drinks and I started on the drinking chocolates.
I'm predicting right now, at 1.09pm on Thursday, that when it comes to weighing myself on Monday morning, I'll be underweight 'cos I was only 450g inside my healthy weight range on the Monday just gone and I've told Steve for the last 3 weeks that I need to put on weight, yet he's only cooked 3 times so far in November.
Steve decided that his stomach was too full to have a proper breakfast, so he paid for us to have a Caffe Nero breakfast instead. I had my usual of a decaff Mocha Grande with soya milk and a shot of salted caramel and two vegan raspberry croissants which has really filled me up and my FitBit app is saying that I've only got 220 calories left today, so I'll definitely be over budget today, assuming Steve (my hubby/carer) cooks for the second time this week, which is exactly what I need to happen for the rest of the week, but I'm not pinning my hopes too high 'cos he only usually cooks 2-3 times a week and today will be number 2 if he cooks, so I've got a maximum of one other cooked meal in 3 days.
He's predictably just decided against cooking lunch, so this breakfast is all I'm going to have all day again but he will, as usual, have 3 meals every day (he's had 10 meals and I've had 3 so far this week), so I'm gonna be underweight when I weigh myself on Monday after missing 7 meals so far this week.
Here's today's only meal photo:
My anti-virus programme needed to reboot my computer this morning and a couple of MS programmes needed to be repaired, so when it crawled back into life, I tidied up my Windoze desktop while all my usual morning programmes were loading up and the virus scan was chugging away. Everything is back to normal now though, so hopefully there won't be any more technical problems today.
Yesterday's delivery didn't turn up and didn't even get dispatched until almost 7.30pm but it's at the local depot now so hopefully it'll be a pretty early delivery today.
I've already cared for my carer for 85 minutes this morning and I think he's getting washed at the kitchen sink now, then he'll come back in and fall asleep so won't want his breakfast until quite late then will be too full for lunch, so this could, potentially, be another calorie free day for me.
I've taken my morning pills so I'm fully dosed with everything my body needs if I don't eat today. Steve has made 3 meals and no drinks so far in November, yet he's more than happy to tell everyone that he "make[s] all her meals and drinks for her". I think he's starting to realise just how little he does for me after 3 days of me nagging him to do the spreadsheet and only managing 30 minutes so far this week. He's gotta care for me for another 34½ hours in the next 4 days and I've already comfortably got over the minimum requirement as of last night, but apparently I don't do anything to support him <shrug>
...edit the next 4 weeks worth of grocery orders and there is absolutely nothing just for me on any of them and Steve's stuff is about £40 each week which leaves less than a tenner for stuff that we can both have and the 18 pack of toilet rolls each week (because Steve uses 2⅓ rolls every day "because they aren't as thick as the ones we've got this week" - yep, totally serious) is over £4 and one single roll would last me 3 weeks, so Steve uses the entire multipack all on his own every week) which takes it down to just over a fiver for meals for both of us for 7 days. Steve has got 4 pizza's and 3 lasagnes on next weeks order as well as 20 sausages so that'll last him 3 weeks then he's got more pizza's and lasagnes on the 4th week, so basically I'm going for the rest of the year on 3 meals a week, maximum and if Steve doesn't fancy cooking then I won't be eating at all.
Apparently we're moving yesterday's pasta bolognaise to tomorrow but I won't believe it until it's in front of me 'cos I had lunch today and I can't see him wanting to cook for two days on the trot, even though I make at least two of his meals for him every day.
I've taken my last pills of the day and Steve's deeply asleep again, so I'd better start shutting everything down now.
...help to reduce climate change. I've just planted 100 mangrove trees in Kenya for only £17 and you can do it too by either following that first link or this one and that's another 30 trees planted in addition to your donated money for trees. You can choose the amount to donate to plant mangrove trees, but one less take-away this week would more than cover it and you're helping to save the world too! Are you gonna join the million trees that Only One wants to plant?
Cor lummy I'm stuffed now.
Steve cooked lunch for us and we were supposed to have 6 waffles each but Steve left two of his so I had 8 and he had 4 in the end lol
My FitBit says that I still need to eat another 77 calories to even hit the minimum and I really can't manage another thing for a while now... not even a drinking chocolate!
Here's today's second meal of the week photo:
...has just finished and my likkle laptop is still free of nasties, which is reassuring, so I've started the backups for the last week and I'm hoping that it'll be finished before I go and make Steve's lunch for him.
I've had my first caffeine drink of the week, and in the 20 minutes it took to drink it, I've already been for 4 wee's!
I'm expecting a couple of deliveries today - one from Amazon and the other is something confidential that I'm not allowed to talk about yet, which is fair enough and totally understandable.
Have I already said about starting the backups? Just in case I haven't, they are underway now and I'm hoping that they will be finished before I go out and make Steve's lunch for him 'cos the washing up fairies still haven't visited yet, so it'll be another day of totally liquids again.
At this rate, I'll have met my minimum liquid intake when I take my lunchtime pill 'cos I had 1½ litres of water for breakfast, then the coffee and the squash to take my pills with as soon as I came down.
I'm up-to-date with my survey invitations and I've logged in to my credit score account and because I've done that at least once a week, it's increased by 3 points which is what I was hoping for - it's going in the right direction now, thankfully... it's only taken 6 years lol
My bladder is telling me that it's time for my 6th wee of the morning because of the caffeine and not having anything solid in my belly since I had my breakfast on Monday - so about 50 hours without eating anything at all so far but my carer has had 7 meals and about 9 hot drinks in the same amount of time.
...it looks like it's only my carer eating for the second day on the trot because the washing up fairies didn't wash up, so Steve's got the last clean bowl and he'll be having the entire box of 12 waffles at lunchtime too 'cos of the foil on the baking trays being caked in meat juices from 2 weeks ago and there's only one clean plate left too, <sarcasm> that's OK though, 'cos it's not like I need to put on weight or anything </sarcasm>
How are you all doing this morning?
I'm doing OK ta, thanks for asking.
Just taken my morning pills so I'd best go and make my carer's breakfast for him now. Need to start off the weekly virus scan this morning too - it needs to load up first though lol
It's still thinking about starting the scheduled scans page, so I'm gonna go and make Steve's breakfast for him now, while I'm waiting, then I'll start the scan off and hopefully be able to have my second meal of the week, as long as the washing up fairies have waved their magic wands over the kitchen sink overnight of course, otherwise today is gonna be my second calorie free day of the week and Steve'll have all 12 waffles again.
OK, I've started off the weekly virus scan now, so I'd best go and make Steve's 7th meal of the week for him and keep my fingers crossed that I'll be able to eat too.
After not eating all day today and making Steve's first 5 meals of the week, I'm actually not feeling too bad so far (so of course I've just jinxed it now lol). Just waiting for my FitBit to charge up then I'll go and make Steve his first hot drink since yesterday. I've downed 2 litres of pop this afternoon so that I can get as many calories into me as possible.
I'll hopefully be able to have my first caffeinated drink of the week tomorrow... hopefully it'll wake me up lol
Gotta save up a few quid to send the Yule gifts off next week - they are wrapped and boxed up, I've just gotta weigh them, pay for the postage, organise the collection then it's all sorted for another year.
My carer has got his first 9 minutes of support for the week on the spreadsheet now after helping with the groceries this morning and I'm up to 20 hours already, so I've only gotta put in another 15 hours during the next 5 days to reach the minimum but I'm hoping for another 85 hour week.
OK, my FitBit is now fully charged up again, so I'll go and make my carer his drink and wake him up several times when he falls asleep with it in his hands so that he doesn't spill it all over himself.
...a solid-free day 'cos I didn't have any breakfast and Steve's just said that he's not gonna make lunch after having "all those onion rings" ie 9 rings, so Steve's eaten 5 meals and I've eaten one. I'll have to make his tea too so he'll have eaten 6 times in 2 days and I'll have eaten once. I've made all 5 of his meals so far and he hasn't made a single one of me since Friday lunchtime.
He's finished his onion rings now, so I'd best go and take his plate out for him 'cos he never does that either.
It's waffles tomorrow, so if the washing up fairies don't do the washing up overnight, Steve'll be having all 12 of those tomorrow too, just like he's had the entire bag of onion rings all to himself too.
He's just decided that I'll be having a packet of crisps for my lunch - apparently he makes all my meals and drinks for me though <shrug>
...put away and I'm cooking a starter for Steve just in case he decides against cooking again.
As the minutes pass, it's looking less and less likely that I'll be having any food at all today.
Gotta go and get Steve's food out of the oven now, so that he can eat for the second time and it's been almost 30 hours since I last ate.
How are you all doing this morning?
I've already taken my morning pills and made Steve's breakfast for him. I'm missing my 3rd meal of the week this morning because Steve is still up for doing lunch for us, so I need to save the soya milk for days that he doesn't fancy cooking. If he changes his mind then I'll be going totally calorie-free today. I only ate once yesterday so I haven't eaten for 24 hours now.
Our groceries are due this morning and I'm predicting that Steve will need a wee or more usually a "surprise poo" which will last from the time he closes the front door until I've put everything except the bottles away and all he will do is take them out of the bag and put them on the floor for me to put away - same as every week.
I've just started the daily virus scan... gotta remember to set off the weekly one tomorrow.
Just had the email about our groceries, so I'll do the adding up so that you can see how it's divided between us again this week:
My stuff: £8.80
Steve's stuff: £24.14
Joint stuff: £11.23
So as you can see, yet again, Steve's got well over half of the groceries again. One of these days it's going to be the joint stuff that's the most expensive! I'll be able to have breakfast, at least, for a while though, so I will actually be able to get 220 calories into me every day, even if Steve doesn't cook... far from healthy but better than absolutely nothing!
Steve's deeply asleep 'cos he's talking in his sleep, so I can't see him being willing to help with putting the groceries away 'cos he'll be "too tired" and or "need an emergency poo" same as every week.
This blog post is getting waaay too long, so I'm gonna publish it now.
...his third meal of the day made by me on the arm of his chair now and I've taken my last two pills, so he'd better hurry up and eat his tea if he wants me to take his plate back through to the kitchen for him 'cos I refuse to have a third late night on the trot tonight.
As long as he feels up to cooking lunch tomorrow, I'll leave off having breakfast tomorrow so that I can save the soya milk for the days that he doesn't want to cook... if he changes his mind after he's finished eating his breakfast tomorrow then it'll be my first calorie-free day of the week again and I'll just make him a bowlful of vegetarian chicken nuggets for his lunch so that at least one of us eats at lunchtime again.
I've made 100% of his meals today and he's made 0% of mine, same with the drinks - I've made 100% of his drinks and he's made 0% of mine <shrug>
...10 hours of care today when I've published this, then I'll have to go and make his third meal of the day, then take his plate back into the kitchen then take my evening pills and keep caring for him until the side effects mean that I can't keep my eyes open any more.
...I've eaten one solid thing (this morning's breakfast), drunk 2 litres of drinking chocolate, 1 mug of tea and 1 bottle of Pepsi Max cherry.
In the same time, Steve's eaten 5 proper meals, 3 coffees, 2 drinking chocolates, 3 litres of cola, 2 sharing packets of crisps and 2 entire packets of biscuits.
Take a guess at which of us needs to lose a lot of weight because they are clinically obese?
Take a guess at who is only 4 minutes away from caring for the other person for 7 hours so far today and who has done absolutely bugger all so far.
...his second meal of the day made by me and I'm missing my first meal of the week. I'm already working overtime for the day and he's done absolutely nothing to care for me so far.
He's finished eating now, so I'd best take his plate back out to the kitchen and do the washing up I suppose
I've taken my lunchtime pill and have got absolutely nothing left to take my last two pills of the day with now, so I've gotta do the washing up before I can fill up both bottles for myself.
This is my only meal today and it was just my usual Tropical fruits granola and soya milk. The recycling collectors arrived just as I walked through the living room door, so I had to wait for it after putting it on my table, but the rest of the day will be purely liquids, prolly water so that I can save the squash to take my pills with and we've run out of decaffeinated coffee, so I can only have water or decaff tea today. Steve's having 4-6 sausages and a 750g bag of onion rings for his lunch and I'll be going without 'cos he had meat on both trays 10 days ago so I can't have anything on them until they've been washed up and the foil changed.
Here's today's breakfast photo:
How are you doing this morning?
I've already taken my pills, weighed myself (I've lost another 500g in the last 7 days which means that I'm only 450g within the healthy weight range for my height and if this week is anything like last week, I'll be underweight next week), taken more recycling outside and cared for my carer for 74 minutes so far this morning. I've got 2 hours and 46 minutes to go before reaching the days minimum. When Steve's finished getting washed in the kitchen sink I'll go and make breakfast for both of us so that I get to eat my only meal today and Steve has his first of three meals and multiple snacks.
Steve says he's got the caring spreadsheet ready to fill in for the rest of the year and I did some sums first thing this morning and I don't reckon he'll get anywhere near the minimum for the rest of the year combined, let alone this week. He might just about manage the daily minimum by the end of the month but I don't reckon he'll get anywhere near 5 hours a day, every day.
When I was sorting and taking out the recycling yesterday, there were 16 empty toilet rolls in the bin and one single roll would last me for 25 days and there was another one in the bin this morning, so in the last 7 days, Steve has used just under 2⅓ rolls every day so it's no wonder that we need to buy a pack of 18 rolls every week and at £4.30 per pack, that works out to be £17.20 a month just on toilet rolls that Steve uses the vast majority of.
The daily virus scan was clear, thankfully. Steve conveniently forgot to fill up a bottle of squash for me yesterday and overnight, so I've got less than a a quarter of my second bottle left to last me until he gets around to it now.
Have I already said that I've taken my morning pills 'cos I have, so I'm just waiting for the rubbish and recycling to be picked up now so that I can bring the containers back into the house while my carer is in the land of nod.
The recycling has been and gone, we've both had our breakfast but I forgot to publish this before I went to do them both - woops!
My breakfast photo is gonna be in my next post, same as normal.
By the time I've stopped caring for my carer tonight, I'll have put in over 12 hours of support for today and 89 hours for the week. My carer's weekly total is only 1 hour and 27 minutes but I'm used to that now.
I'm gonna shut down for the final time this week and head to bed soon.
Nite nite orl.
...being able to clock up an 88 hour week this week 'cos I'm already over 87 hours and Steve's only just started eating his tea, so I'll have to take his empty plate back through to the kitchen when he's finished eating for the third time today (I haven't eaten at all again) then he'll be asleep for at least an hour after that so I won't be able to have an early night again tonight... dunno why I think I'll get to bed before 8pm any more 'cos it's usually gone 8pm before I'm finally allowed to shut down and another 10 minutes after that before I'm allowed to head to bed.
I've just taken my last two pills of the week, so I hope the side effects are slow to kick in tonight so that I can still take Steve's empty plate through to the kitchen otherwise he'll fall asleep, knock it off the arm of his chair and smash it which'll leave us with one small plate so I won't be able to have bread and dairy free spread when he's had sandwiches the previous night or is using it for his food at the same time, which'll be even less chance of me rapidly increasing my calories so even more chance of me going underweight yet again.
...off this afternoons to-do list 'cos I've done the washing up, so I've just gotta keep caring for my carer now, but I can do that while I'm sat down, so I can recover from the last 4 hours now and use as few calories as possible.
...tomorrow will be another day without anything solid in my belly 'cos Steve wants his sausages with the onion rings tomorrow and because he used both baking sheets for his meat this week, I won't even be able to have the onion rings, so Steve'll be having 4-6 sausages and 500g of onion rings for his lunch tomorrow as well as breakfast and tea and I'll be going for the second day without anything solid in my belly. I've been saying for the last two weeks that I need to put on weight rather than lose it, but going by the small amount I've eating this week, I reckon I'll have lost weight tomorrow and the same next week too if Steve can't motivate himself to cook for both of us.
We've got 2 small packets of vegetarian chicken nuggets that we/he can have for two meals but I've only got enough soya milk for about 3-4 breakfasts, so I'll have to ration myself and only have breakfast on the days that Steve doesn't cook rather than going for 3 or 4 days with absolutely nothing solid in my belly at all, like I have this week.
I suppose I should be used to it by now <shrug>
...crossed off my to-do list, which now looks like this:
So I've just gotta wait for Steve to complain about the lack of heat in his chips and all 4 vegan sausage rolls so that I can bin them then do the washing up then sit down for more than 5 minutes for the first time this afternoon.
I'm wobbly, in pain, shaking like a leaf, unsafe and just generally having a bad day, but I've gotta keep an eye on my carer so that he doesn't fall asleep and knock his sausage rolls and chips off the arms of his chair again... as long he doesn't have to move then that's OK though, right?
...this afternoon's to-do list looks like this:
So the next task is to refill my pill box while I wait for my carer to finish his lunch so that I can do the washing up and recover from spending too long on my feet since mid-day.
...crunched up and swallowed, so this afternoon's to-do list looks like this:
I'm predicting, at 1.05pm, that my carer won't help with any of it and that he'll fall asleep before the motor racing has finished then refuse to eat the rest of his lunch "because it's gone cold".
...my 4th day without breakfast and my 5th without lunch this week. I had breakfast on Monday, Thursday and Friday and lunch on Wednesday and Friday.
My carer has eaten three meals every day and I've made all except Wednesday and Friday's lunches and yesterday's tea.
Apparently he makes all my meals and drinks for me though <shrug>
The 5 Ties That Bind the Best of Friendships - Amanda's comment: A bit of a dry read, but then, I'm guessing, it's mainly aimed at those interested in psychology? Might be worth a read if that floats your boat though?
Missing rescue dog finds unusual friendship with a fox during month-long search - Amanda's comment: After the psychology comes a heartwarming piece today
How are you doing this dark and cold morning?
By the time I went to bed last night, I'd cared for my carer for 11 hours and 58 minutes which is really annoying my OCD lol I've just gotta put in 8 hours and 27 minutes to hit an 85 hour week but that'll be at about 5pm going by the rest of the week, so I reckon it'll be at least 87 hours if not scraping through 88 hours if I cook lunch today, as well as making breakfast and tea for my carer.
Gonna take my morning pills before I forget and I've gotta remember to refill my dosette box at lunchtime, so that I'm ready for next week without having to rush around and do it at 5am tomorrow morning.
OK, that's my morning pills down the hatch, so I've just got my lunchtime one and my evening pills left to take, then that's it for another week.
It's vegan sausage rolls and chips on the menu for today and I can't wait! I'm predicting that I'll be making it and that Steve'll be having the majority of it, just like he always does.
As soon as he wakes up for longer than literally a few seconds, I'll go and make his first meal of the day for him and have my own too after that.
Gotta put the rubbish and recycling out today too. The virus scan was reassuringly clear again though, so I can cross that off my to-do list for another day.
Time to get cracking with the news now I reckon.
Gonna start closing down all my open programmes now so that I can head to bed feeling relaxed instead of rushed for a change, so I'm gonna say goodnight to you all, even though I won't be shutting down and clocking off until around 8pm-ish
See you again in the morning. Can someone remind me to phone my mum about the gifts tomorrow please? Ta muchly.
Nite nite orl.
I said in my breakfast blog post this morning that it was my 6th meal of the week, but it was actually only my fifth and Steve decided to have his sausages that had been out of the fridge for his mid-morning snack, which has, apparently, made him "feel bloated" so he hasn't wanted any lunch so I haven't been able to have lunch either, but I can almost guarantee that he'll have recovered enough to have his tea earlier than normal tonight... strange that he feels well enough to eat when I make the meal but is suddenly ill when he has to cook innit.
I'm making a prediction, at 2.19pm, that I'll be making all the meals again tomorrow and because Steve has "barely eaten" today he'll be "starving" and have most, if not all, of the lunch that's supposed to be for both of us. I'm making a second prediction, at 2.22pm, that I'll only be having breakfast again tomorrow and Steve'll be eating 3 times again.
Apparently he makes all of my meals and drinks for me though <shrug>
...the Yule gifts wrapped and ready to give, just gotta check the address of one of the gifts that is going through the post and if it's OK to include gifts for 2 people in the same box and for the person I send it to, to hand it over... if not then that's totally OK but I'll need the address for the third person lol
How are you all doing this morning?
Personally I'm not too bad - I've taken my morning pills and made breakfast for both of us and set an update going on my computer that stopped Excel from working. I've already cared for my carer for just over 2 hours this morning, which is more than he's cared for me all week combined.
Now my anti-virus programme isn't working so I need to restart... what else is gonna go wrong for me this morning?? Gotta remember to do the maintence on my computer when I've rebooted for the third time this morning - you watch me forget though!
...but I've taken all three sets of pills today and now I'm watching Children In Need whilst caring for my carer - managed almost 11 hours so far today which takes the weekly total up to over 61 hours so far. Steve cooked lunch and did the washing up today, so his current weekly total is 85 minutes.
Woops! Forgot to publish this but CiN has just finished and they raised an amazingly generous amount this year, so I'm going to start shutting everything down and heading to bed.
Our vegetarian chicken nuggets didn't turn up this morning, so we're swapping today and tomorrow's food around on the menu which means that today's lunch was a vegetarian chilli and it tasted sooo good! Thank you so much for making it for us both, Steve! I really appreciate it!
Just had my second breakfast/third meal of the week - my usual Tropical fruits granola and soya milk.
In a slight rearrangement from the menu, we're having chilli for lunch instead of vegetarian chicken nuggets because they were unavailable on Tuesday and Steve cancelled his medical appointment yesterday, so we couldn't get them from his sister then either. He said yesterday that she was gonna bring them over today so if she brings them over before lunch, we'll still be going according to the menu but if not, we'll be having the vegetarian chilli. If Steve can motivate himself to cook, it'll be my second meal of the week that he's made, which is awesome, but I won't believe it until it's in front of me.
Here's today's breakfast photo:
Very late start to this morning 'cos I was still asleep until my watch woke me up at 6am!
I've already taken my morning pills and I've just scoffed my third meal of the week, so I'll put the photo up in a bit.
I'm gonna read and review a book today, then start the wrapping up tomorrow so that I can send off the gifts and get them out of the way for another year.
I've cared for my carer for 51 hours and 12 minutes so far this week and his care of me has skyrocketed to 52 minutes after he made a bottle of squash for me overnight.
Apparently today's call has been moved, overnight, to Wednesday, which means that Steve cancelled and rearranged it. The more he speaks, the less I believe now, same as with D. I would much prefer people were honest with me than feeling like they have to constantly lie all the time.
My daily virus scan was clear again this morning, which was reassuring.
...having put in a 12 hour day of care today and my carer has only managed one single extra minute today 'cos he decanted my granola into the jug for me, so I can definitely have breakfast tomorrow now... will it be my only meal of the day though?
The caring totals for the week currently look like this:
Me caring for my carer: 49 hours and 24 minutes
My carer caring for me: 0 hours 50 minutes
I've taken my last pills of the day now, so as soon as Steve's finished eating his third meal of the day, I'll take his plate back through to the kitchen and keep caring for him until the side effects start kicking in then go to bed.
...I'm working overtime on today's caring 'cos I've cared for my carer for 5 hours and 7 minutes already this morning, which takes the weekly total up to 42 hours and 32 minutes so the weekly overtime that I've already put in adds up to 7 hours and 34 minutes and my carer is still at 49 minutes for the week so far. I'll have to go out and make his lunch for him soon - that'll be his 11th meal of the week and I've eaten 3 times.
Best publish this and go and make his food for him.
...Steve phoned up about the savings account this morning (only 4 days later than he promised at the weekend) and it turns out that it's a pension rather than a savings account and he has to find "hundreds a month to be able to claim it when it matures" so it looks like I've gotta find almost £30k to bail us both out so that the house isn't taken off us because Steve's more concerned about paying for podcasts and stuff like that than squirrelling it away and helping to pay it off. Other than Christmas gifts, I haven't spent a single penny on anything that wasn't absolutely essential (groceries and electricity for example) so I've got a little bit that I can use, but there's no way in this world that I can find £30,000 out of nowhere.
Steve's blaming it on being 19 at the time, but I moved out of my childhood home when I was only just 21 and I've been bailing him out ever since.
I'm fed up of it. I really am.
That's how long I've cared for my carer for so far this morning. It's also an hour and a half more than he's cared for me all week combined so far.
I've got 2 hours and 39 minutes to go to hit the daily minimum and my carer is already more than 15 hours behind for the week so far. I'm already working the best part of 5 hours of overtime and I doubt I'll even get 2 hours of care from my carer this week. He gets a benefit payment for caring for me for over 35 hours a week, but since I've been recording it, he hasn't even managed 10% of that once. He tells everyone that he makes all my meals and drinks for me, yet he's only made two meals in the last two weeks and hasn't made me a hot drink for over 4 years. To give credit where it's due, he does cook once a week and make me 2-3 bottles of squash a week, but even by his own recording, he doesn't even reach 2 hours of support a week.
It should be me getting credit for being the carer, 'cos I support him for well over double the minimum every week - there's no way he'll agree to that though!
As I think I predicted yesterday, Steve is gonna cancel his medical appointment yet again today and ask for a stronger prescription for one of his meds. He also doesn't want me to pay off some of the mortgage "in case they charge more for paying it off in a lump sum, so wait until I talk to them tomorrow" and he'll definitely call up about the savings account today too, just like he's promised for the last 3 days. Basically, whatever I try and do to help is rejected then I get blamed when we fall behind with things like the mortgage and electricity and it's always my stuff that comes off the groceries to make room for more of Steve's stuff too.
It's instant soup on the menu for today, so I'll be making all of Steve's three meals today and going without for the third day this week. By the time I go to bed tonight, I'll have made more meals for Steve in one single day (ie 3) than he has for me throughout November so far (ie 2).
I've taken my morning pills, so my body has got what it needs to see me through until tomorrow now.
Yep, today will be totally calorie free 'cos I've just been out to make us the first hot drink of the day and Steve's hidden the washing up brush so I couldn't wash my mug up, so my entire day will be tap water alone while Steve has multiple hot drinks, entire packets of biscuits entirely alone, entire sharing bags of crisps to himself and 3 meals. I'm just grateful that I've eaten three times already this week (twice on Monday and once yesterday) is all.
The daily virus scan is under way and I haven't got any deliveries today, so I'll hopefully be able to ignore my hunger and thirst by reading and reviewing a book today.
Would you call just 4 slices of bread and dairy free butter a meal?
If you would, I've eaten 3 times so far this week.
If you wouldn't, I've only eaten twice.
I finished off the granola on Monday, which was meal number 1
Then I had the spreaded bread at lunchtime which may or may not be a meal
A packet of crisps yesterday
And spaghetti and vegetarian meatballs for lunch today.
That's literally all I've eaten all week so far.
Steve, OTOH, has had 3 proper meals every day (so 9 meals so far), 2 sharing bags of Doritoes, 2 entire packets of biscuits and 4 egg custards in the same amount of time. I've made 7 of the nine meals and only eaten 2 of the 9 potential meals. Other than the bottle of squash he made for me (and left in the kitchen) overnight, I've made all the other drinks.
Apparently he "make[s] all her meals and drinks for her". I bet he doesn't even know where the hot drinks containers are kept and the last time he made a hot drink for me was at least 2 or even 3 years ago, when I first started drinking tea and coffee. In fact, I've just had a look on Amazon to see when I'd bought my original mug and it was 2018 and he definitely hasn't made me a drink using that mug so it's actually more like 4½ years!
He's just full of crap basically, but nobody believes me when I try to be honest with them so I've given up now.
Today's lunch of spaghetti and vegetarian meatballs went down a treat and I was so desperate to dig in that I started eating mine before giving Steve his plate this afternoon! Woops!
We've both overdone it with our lunch today - I polished mine off but can't safely take my lunchtime pill without there being a very real risk of the whole lot coming straight back up again. Steve left quite a bit of his spaghetti too, so I think we need to reduce the amount we use of pasta and rice for future meals 'cos our stomachs capacity seems to have shrunk since we last had a big meal on 31st October. That's not such a bad thing to happen though 'cos I reckon our portion sizes are still a bit bigger than they should be.
Here's today's lunch photo: