Saturday, 15 May 2021

11 hours 6 minutes today, so now...

...I'm off to bed. 

I've already cared for my carer for over 50 hours in 6 days, so I'm pretty much guaranteed to hit at least 55 hours tomorrow, if not 60, but apparently I don't do anything to support him, yet he gets credit for being mine and proudly tells people that he does everything for me for no reward and how I don't appreciate it, but in the last 6 days, he hasn't cared for me at all, just the things for both of us for more than a couple of hours total, yet he expects me to do that for him and he says I don't do anything at all to support him.  Total and utter bollox in reality.

I've been awake for almost 4 hours, and I've already...

...made Steve's coffee and breakfast, taken my morning pills, completed the virus scan (still free of nasties, thankfully), cared for my carer for 3 hours 11 minutes and supported a friend so now it's time for me to read and review that book... hope it's a good 'un!

Friday, 14 May 2021

10 hours and 46 minutes today, which is...

...even longer than Monday was (10 hours and 5 minutes), so I'm well over the 35 hours of minimum care, but apparently I'm not a carer.  So far this week (Monday to Friday) I've cared for my carer for  41 hours and 12 minutes, so there's under 8 hours to go to reach the 50 hours I was guessing at this morning.  My carer, OTOH, has cared for both of us combined (3 meals and moving the groceries from one side of his body to the other is literally all he's done all week combined) for 1½ hours in 5 days, yet he's registered everywhere as my carer.

Not a happy bunny tonight.  😞

I'm off to beddy-byes now, so I'll say nite nite 2 ewe orl now - see you all at some point tomorrow, prolly with either another rant about the support I'm giving/receiving and/or a glimpse at my morning achievements.

Got a children's book to read and review tomorrow, which'll hopefully keep me out of trouble for a few hours  😉

Nite nite orl 💤


To give him credit... carer is cooking our lunch as I type this, so it'll be a total of 1 hour 2 minutes of care he has provided this week, not the "constantly caring for her" that he tells everyone.  I'm grateful that it's over an hour this week though, so I won't complain!


We're having vegan sausage rolls and onion rings for lunch 'cos my carer was too hungry for just the sausage rolls, so he's having the vast majority of onion rings to fill him up, on top of his 5 slices of toast this morning.  Need to remember to put it all into the FitBit app after I've had it too... need to wait and see how many onion rings I have first though 😉


Just had my reminder to take my lunchtime pill, so I'll publish this, put my laptop on the floor, take my pill then go out and grab my lunch  😋



Breakfast sorted, virus scan completed, pills taken, forum sorted, Windows updates installed... the rest of the day is mine now.  


Steve said we were having the Vegan sausage rolls for lunch 'cos they were delivered with the box already open and I don't wanna lose even more money, so we'll be having those for lunch.

I'm pretty sure the morning nausea was/is 'cos my stomach was empty when I had my jab and it seems to have affected me with the nausea each morning, until I've had something to eat, but when I have a couple of slices of bread at around 4-4.30pm I'm fine the next morning, so maybe my body is telling me that it wants to eat something light-ish for tea every day?

It's not even lunchtime yet, but I've already cared for my carer for well over 4 hours today, so it's gonna be another loooong day of care, possibly close to the 10 hours I did on Monday?  I've already cared for him for over 35 hours this week, before Friday lunchtime, so I'm thinking it'll be another 50 hour week for me caring for my carer, and he's yet to do anything at all just for me.  He's spent less than an hour doing joint caring for the entire week combined, yet apparently he's my carer and I don't do anything as a carer for him.

Gonna go and do my exercise as soon as he wakes up so that I can safely stop monitoring his breathing while he's asleep.

Thursday, 13 May 2021

5 hours, 27 minutes so far

Hit the 5 hours of care at 3.01pm so might be another 7 hours of care today, if not more, but apparently I'm not the carer and I do buggar all to support him.  So far this week, my carer has cooked two meals for both of us and swang the shopping bags from one side of him to the other without even taking a step, then literally all he did was closed the front door, went into the kitchen and lent on the surface, watching me put everything away.  I was already feeling ill and had asked for his help before the groceries arrived which he agreed to, but ended up doing less than normal instead of more, so I won't bother asking next time.

As of last night...

...I've cared for my carer for 24 hours and 50 minutes, which means I've only got 10 hours and 10 minutes to reach the minimum, which I reckon will easily be before lunch tomorrow.  Compare that to my carers 32 minutes of combined care up until I went to bed last night and that's what I've done for him so far this morning... but apparently I'm not his carer and don't do anything to support him.


I've completed the daily virus scan (still clear), so now it's time for my morning pills, making the first drink of the day and exercise when my stomach starts feeling better.

That's the morning pills all down the hatch but my stomach is a touch more messed up now, but that's OK, I'm used to it now 😉

Our internet connection died, so Steve phoned up to find out what was going on and they advised him to switch the router off at the mains, which he did and everything's fine again now, seemingly.

I've taken Steve's clothes out of the washer-drier and started the next load, so now I'm gonna go and make him a drink.  Again.  Bet he only drinks half of it again, too❗

Wednesday, 12 May 2021

I've cared for my carer for over...

...3 hours so far today, and that's not even including his medical appointment this morning.  I'm keeping an eye on his breathing while he's asleep (again) so I should be able to hit the minimum of 5 hours of care, compared to my carer's absolute zero support in any way, shape or form so far today.  He's cared for both of us for a grand total of 38 minutes so far this week.


Been downstairs for 2 hours 19 minutes and in that time I've...

...spent 2 hours and 4 minutes caring for Steve so far.  The other 15 minutes was spent making my breakfast and going for a wee.  I asked Steve if he fancied breakfast too, but he'd fallen back to sleep by the time I'd finished the question, so I stayed in here until he woke up naturally again before I went to make my own toast.


I've taken my morning pills, set the virus scan running and apparently I'm having instant soup for lunch because it's Wednesday, so I hope it stays in my stomach 'cos it'll be the first thing I'll have had that wasn't bread or chips since Thursday lunchtime.


When Steve wakes up again I'll go and do my exercise then make us both a drink even though apparently I'm not the carer of the two of us 🤷


Tuesday, 11 May 2021

5 hours 15 minutes now and I've been...

...treated to my first solid non-bread meal since Friday and been able to keep it down so far.


I will, in theory, be able to have toast for breakfast tomorrow 'cos Steve's asked his mum to get us some more spread, squash and some crystalised ginger to try and boost the ginger beer so that I can slowly start re-introducing solids to my diet again. We had fries for a late lunch after Steve got home from his jab and they haven't messed me up, so I'm just gonna take things really carefully now and start experimenting with other bland food for the next little while and I'm hoping things will be back to normal by the time the weekend rolls around.

The weekly virus scan starts tomorrow, so I've gotta remember not to open my email software until that and the backups have finished, so might cautiously try some instant soup and bread for lunch, same as every Wednesday... I'm just gonna be cautious for one more week then hopefully next week will be back to normal again.  Need to remember to try to eat a couple of slices of bread/toast at around 4pm tomorrow to see if that eases my morning nausea, in case it's stomach acid that has been making me feel ill until I eat each morning.  Just gonna take things really slowly and gently while listening to everything my body tells me while I'm recovering and not do too much, too soon.

24 minutes away from...

...5 hours of care for my carer so far today, whereas my carer has provided me with seconds as opposed to minutes of support today.


Not even lunchtime yet, but I've already...

...spent getting on for 4½ hours caring for my carer already today and all my carer has done for me is filled up a single glass of pop that took under a minute to do.


However, I've taken my morning pills, completed the daily virus scan (still free of nasties) and had 4 slices of bread so that I can save the spread for Steve - again.  My carer said we were gonna finish off the fries for lunch and I'm gonna try eating a couple of slices of bread at around 4pm-ish to see if that settles my stomach when I wake up tomorrow... if it does, then the morning nausea is caused by stomach acid which is an easy fix as long as I remember not to eat too late otherwise I'll feel sick when I go to bed.


Monday, 10 May 2021

I'm gonna have an early night tonight, 'cos...

...I think I deserve it after spending 10 hours and 5 minutes caring for my carer today and he's only cared for me for 3 minutes when he swang the grocery bags from his right side to his left between 1.57pm and 2pm today, that's the full extent of his care today, but I've already done almost a third of the entire week in about 14 hours.


But apparently he's still my carer.


That's the groceries sorted for another week

The deliverer came literally 3 minutes early and bagged up our groceries for us, which Steve took from the doorstep to the other side of his leg, then I took all the bags through to the kitchen and put the fridge and freezer stuff away along with Steve's pop and I'm feeling incredibly ill as a result now.

Managed to take my Calcium and put the pill box away literally seconds before the groceries were delivered though.  I'm gonna be living on 4 cans of ginger beer and 2 slices of dry (un-spreaded as opposed to old) bread a day for the next week, 'cos I haven't got any pop and there are only 3 loaves of bread instead of our usual 4 and Steve complained about how much spread we'd used in the last week, so Steve'll be having his usual 4 slices spreaded toast each morning and sandwiches in the evening, yet I'll be lucky if there's enough bread for me to have 2 slices of bread a day and Steve wonders why I don't each much.

To give him due credit...

...Steve really did call up about the electric thing that was due to happen on Thursday and rearranged it for next Tuesday (a week tomorrow) instead.


Thank you Steve!


Over 3 hours so far this morning

I've cared for Steve for 3 hours and 8 minutes so far this morning and he's cared for me for 4 minutes.  I've asked him to postpone the electric thing on Thursday and I've sent him a text message requesting it too, so he can't say I didn't.


I've refilled my pill box 'cos I seemingly forgot to do it yesterday then took my morning pills, finished off the virus scan, weighed myself, sorted out the Fitbit spreadsheet, then uploaded it and brought the recycling boxes in.  Just waiting for the rubbish bag to go then I can bring that in and do Steve's breakfast for him when he wakes up so that I can find out how many slices he wants.


All the groceries are in stock this week, so Steve'll be able to eat and I'm hoping there will be enough bread for a couple of slices of bread and spread each day next week.

I got my calculations soooo wrong last night lol

For some reason the minutes add up to 22 hours, so I've worked out each days total hours and counted those up instead of the minutes, which comes to a much more realistic 44 hours and 42 minutes of care for Steve last week instead of the 122 hours I calculated it to be lol  It's 9 hours over the minimum care required, yet Steve only cared for me for 1 hour and 18 minutes instead of the 35 hours minimum he says he does each week.


I'll keep a much more accurate record of the care we provide for each other this week which'll hopefully give us a more accurate record for our benefits claims next time.

Sunday, 9 May 2021

I'm about to head to bed for an early night, so I've done this week's sums and discovered...

 ...that this week alone, when I've felt particularly ill because of the jab on Friday afternoon, I've spend 122¼ hours (not a typo, 'cos I've cared for him for 7335 minutes this week) between 6.23am on Monday and 3.03pm today (Sunday) compared to my carer's 1 hour and 18 minutes.  He's supposed to care for me for 35 hours a week, yet his weekly total isn't even approaching the first day's worth of care (which averages out at 5 hours a day, 7 days a week) let alone a full week's worth of care.


I'm hoping to make an even more accurate record next week, instead of just recording the longest things like I did at the start of this week and next Sunday (a week today) will be 4 weeks of me recording, so we'll find out how much care I actually provide and receive, compared to how much my carer says he does for me.


Nite nite orl.  Sea ewe 2morro.


Our "big freezer" is now...

...almost completely empty of old frozen food.  


There are literally 2 boxes of something or other that I couldn't safely reach (because I'm a short arse at 5 foot tall) without falling in and I discovered some frozen home-made butternut squash soup that Steve's mum made for us at least 2½ years ago, ASDA stuff that's at least 3 or 4 years old and all kinds of pizza's and pies and ready meals "from that time when I couldn't be bothered to cook" according to Steve, so I reckon that's easily £100 of wasted food in 3 bin bags, wasted, yet again.

I can take the vegan sausage rolls off tomorrow's groceries though, 'cos Steve's gonna have one of our current boxes for his tea, then we've got another one in the big freezer, an unopened bag of frozen veg with a use-by date of July 2021, the best part of a kilo of frozen peas in the little freezer, 3 packets of Quorn mince, meat-free meatballs and a family roast.  


When my body has recovered from yesterday's Covid jab we've got a Sunday roast with heaps of veg, pasta and meatballs, "Pig-Out" (vegan) rolls, chips and veg as well as at least 3 mince-using meals too ready and waiting to be used without spending any more money.  We've still got a pot of curry sauce to use which'll make a dent in our rice mountain, but we don't need to be so strict with how little freezer stuff any more... I just don't like wasting so much money on food that just gets binned.

It's currently 3.10pm and I've...

...spent 6 hours 50 minutes caring for Steve so far today, so it's gonna be another day of close to 10 hours of care for the carer when I'm feeling rough as chuff.  So much for caring for me all day, every day, doing everything for me eh?  My carer has done buggar all to care for me today too.

Lunch was a disaster for me 'cos...

...the egg messed my stomach up.  Not even a whole egg either, literally one piece that was about 1cm by about 5mm and about 1mm thick made me almost throw up, just like yesterday's toast.  I managed two slices of toast this morning, so maybe I just pushed my stomach too far, too fast again❓


I'm literally just 5 minutes of care less than the daily 5 hours for Steve then I've already cared for him for 5 hours today and like I guessed yesterday, I cared for him for over 10 hours by the time I headed to bed yesterday, so I'm almost guaranteed to hit 17½ hours (so an extra 50%) over the 35 hours of care a week budget this week and Steve hasn't even hit the 17 minute mark of caring for both of us combined this week - yet apparently he's my carer who does everything for me and spends all day every day caring for me, which is total bollox in reality.

Been awake for 4.5 hours and in that time I've...

...finished off my first can of ginger beer of the day, made Steve's breakfast, taken my morning pills, put the rubbish and recycling out, had breakfast and already cared for my carer for over 2.75 hours, which is already more than he's cared for me for the entire 3 weeks combined.  I'm also significantly over the 35 hours a week, by more than 11 hours already too yet I'm not considered to be a carer, but my carer spends a grand total of less than 15 minutes a week caring for me but gets all the recognition and credit for it.  I've been keeping a spreadsheet with the number of hours we care for each other and I very much doubt that my carer will have cared for me for an hour in the 4 weeks total by next Sunday evening.


Saturday, 8 May 2021

That's my day-time pills all taken now, and the images and fonts sorted, soooo...

...the rest of the day is mine now.


I'm wondering if feeling the cold is one of the side-effects of the COVID-19 jab I had yesterday 'cos I was wearing two thin-ish layers so that the nurse could easily get to my arm before I went yesterday and I felt fine, but since getting home from it yesterday I can't seem to warm up and I've been on the verge of constantly shivering, even though the heater has been on full-blast since I got home and Steve's taken his top off and has been asleep all morning (and is now too) which is his usual reaction to being hot.  Even after putting on a thick jumper when I got home yesterday, I still haven't been able to warm up.

I'm gonna go and grab a couple of slices of bread and see what Steve wants for his lunch now, so I'll BBL.

Touch wood...

...I'm still not feeling too bad.  This morning's ickiness was 'cos I forced toast on my body waaay before I should have done... if I'd just stuck with un-spreaded bread then I would prolly have been fine, but I was making Steve's breakfast for him and stupidly decided to risk a couple of slices of toast.  It's four hours later now and I've sipped my way through 2 cans of ginger beer and I don't feel too bad now.  Not gonna take any more risks and go by my what my body is telling me, rather than the routine now.

I'm not gonna do anything other than read Facebook and my emails for the rest of the day and potentially tomorrow, but I'll take it from there then.  I'm feeling significantly better than I did when I had the first jab, so I'm not gonna rush things this time and I'll listen more to my body until I'm feeling properly human again.

I've taken all my morning pills, the virus scan was clear again and I'm just finishing off saving all the images on the CDs so that I can start using them on my websites and stuff.

So far today I've spent 5 hours and 34 minutes caring for Steve, despite feeling pretty rough, and Steve (my carer) has spent 2 minutes caring for me (getting me my first can of ginger beer), so I reckon it'll be getting on for 10 hours of care from me, but I doubt I'll get half an hour out of Steve by the time I head to bed tonight even though he happily tells people that he's my carer who spends all day every day looking after me and he's registered at both of our doctors surgeries as my carer too.

Friday, 7 May 2021

It's 3.04pm and so far today...

...I've cared for/supported Steve alone (as opposed to joint care/support) for 7 hours and 13 minutes but apparently I'm not his carer.

Back from my second Covid jab now and...

...Marie cared more for me in that half an hour that I was with her getting the jab than Steve has in the last 5 days combined.  I was with Marie for a grand total of half an hour, but Steve's care for me so far this week has only been 13 minutes of care for me alone or 1 hour 16 minutes for both of us for bagging up the groceries at the front door on Monday, cooking two meals for us both and putting the laundry on this morning with both of our clothes in it.  He's my carer and does everything for me for 10 hours every day though, apparently!


Just over 5.5 hours of care already today, sooo...

...time for me to go and have my Covid jab now

That's 1,998 fonts and a few bits of clipart installed this morning

Just installed all bar 2 of the fonts on the disc and got a few bits of clipart off the same disc too, so I think what I'm gonna do for the next couple of hours is to copy the clipart off the other CDs and take the boxes back upstairs and put them away so that I don't need to get stressed and keep leaning over to get the next box if I'm reacting badly to the jab and I can just open up PSP and zone out with all the pixels and PSP and stuff so that I'm not getting anxious about how ill I'm feeling.




I'm not gonna do the news today or until I feel better, but...

...feel free to keep checking back to see how badly or otherwise I feel at the time I post.  If it's anything like the first one, I'll be feeling yucky for a few days then slowly start improving over the next week or so, so hopefully I'll be back to doing the news in a couple of weeks, but I can't guarantee it.

There will prolly be rants about just how little my carer does for me while I'm recovering but I'll tag those posts if you wanna avoid reading them and it'll be one extreme or the other with the number of posts too... either several every day or one every few days.  Either way, please stick with me, keep reading and sharing the url 'cos seeing those view numbers really supports me when I have bugger all other support.

Steve's arranged for someone to come out for a look around about central heating via a grant that the enabler thinks we're entitled to and Steve said he'll postpone it if I'm feeling grotty, but I bet he won't, just like he never does.  He said 5 days ago that he'd move my cans of ginger beer to the top shelf of the fridge and get them for me whenever I needed them, but he hasn't, so I did that myself this morning.  I very much doubt he'll get them for me when I need them either.

Other than 24 cans of ginger beer, the entire shop that's due on Monday is for Steve, which adds up to about £35 and my ginger beer comes to about £7 yet he still expects me to pay for the whole lot.

Ho hum, such is life I guess.

Onto daily things again now though.  The virus scan has finished (still no nasties, thankfully), I've taken my pills, made Steve's breakfast and buttered a couple of slices of bread for me, so we're all sorted until I go for my jab now.

I'm pondering on changing the text colour here in my blog again, whaddya all think to that idea please?  Let me know in the comments?

Thursday, 6 May 2021

Only news on my navigation site today

Afternoon all.


After a morning full of technical problems, then having a bath 🛀 ready for tomorrow, then having my lunch 🍴 and finally getting the news sorted, I've had a pretty average day so far.


Not looking forward to the appointment tomorrow, but I'm gonna try having a couple of slices of bread for my breakfast and the same again a couple of hours after I get home, to see if that reduces the nausea or if I'll be living on ginger beer for a while again.


I've taken all my day-time pills 💊, so just got the evening one to take now, then hopefully head to bed for an early night.  Gonna go for yet another wee 🚽 (I can tell I've had caffeine today 🤣) then do my exercises, make Steve's hot drink ☕ and I'll prolly need another wee 🚽 then I can come back in here and relax.

This morning's bath 🛀 was warm after the emersion heater being on for 2 days, so I think I need to pull on the switch in the bathroom the evening before too, so that the warm water gets as far as the bathroom instead of just the kitchen 🙄🤣  I apologised to Steve for my mistake but I can pretty much guarantee that I'll forget again next time I have a bath 🛀 🙄 🤣

Wednesday, 5 May 2021

To give him credit...'s only taken 5 months and 5 days before Steve needed me to bail him out financially.  



Last year it was 30 days before he needed the money, so he's done considerably better already this year.

He's just paid the electricity and moved the direct debit to the 15th of each month instead of the last day of the month when all his other bills come out, so I've just gotta remember that and make sure the money is in the joint account in time, starting in June.

It means that now that he's been bailed out once this year, it'll happen throughout the rest of the year, and I'll be bailing him out again and again and again, despite him promising at the end of 2020 that it wouldn't happen.

I've offered to take off what he paid for my credit cards so that he can't bring that up again, but he's conveniently forgotten how much he paid on that too.  Why am I not surprised?

I'm gonna wipe £1,500 off what he owes me to cover it, which is a third of what the credit limit was on each of my cards and there's no way he paid a third of them all off 'cos I was struggling to meet the minimum payments and clearing them was out of the question for the entire time I held them, so the total payment of all of them didn't happen until last year when I got my PPI money back and totally cleared the balance.


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Tuesday, 4 May 2021

Just taken my last pill of the day so...'s time to shut down for the night, look for the vulnerability letter then get to sleep.  It's the weekly virus scan tomorrow, so need to remember not to open up either of my email programmes all day.

Gonna publish this now then head to bed.  Nite nite orl.

Book Review: The Secret Bridesmaid by Katy Birchall

Review of The Secret Bridesmaid by Katy Birchall

⭐ out of 5

 All the books that I review start off with the full 5 stars and this one is no different.

I've got the Kindle version of this book and I've only read a few pages, but I'm already confused with the dratted book... it goes straight from the copyright then literally on the next line, the story starts with no warning or even a chapter number or even a blank space... unless it improves rapidly I'm knocking the first star off unfortunately.

I'm even more confused now, 'cos there's a number 1 a page or so later, so what was the jumbled mess at the start of the book then??  According to my Kindle I'm only 1% of the way through and I've yet to find anything positive about the book, so the first star is coming off already  😞

I'm 2% in now and the text is all over the place, almost like the author has hit enter/return at the end of every line in her software as soon as she got to the end of a line instead of just letting the words flow from one line to the next naturally?  There are frequent one or two words on a line which is really starting to wind me up already, unfortunately.

The emails are all mushed up together instead of being set out as properly aligned To and From and the subject... so that's the second star gone already - I was really looking forward to reading this book, but after only 2% it's already lost two of its five stars!

I hope the author has got written permission to use all these big celebrities and brands, otherwise she could get herself into really deep, hot water.  The last couple of emails improved though, so that star is just about clinging on for dear life atm.

There's just been a phone call that was as jumbled as the emails, so that star has just lost its grip and fallen into the ether.  Oh dear... 5% of the way through the book and it's already lost 3 stars  😞  I've got 95% of the book left to read and there is only one star left to lose... it's not looking good, is it  😞

I'm in a positive mood, so the extra space within a word won't make me knock off a star at 8% and there's been 3% since the last mistake, so maybe, just maybe, I'll get beyond 10% before I knock off the final star and give up on the book??  

Chapter four was good... a couple of little bits that should have been picked up in the editing before publication, but considerably better than the first couple of chapters!

Oooh!  I'm liking chapter five... the best so far in terms of content, but there's still some little tweeks that should have been picked up during editing.

Chapter six has been good too... a few more minor mistakes, but they don't stop the flow of the story, thankfully, so I'm not taking a star off - yet.

Chapter 7 was good - the author is really in their stride now.  Can't wait to keep reading the rest of the book now.

After a really good few chapters that had rekindled my hope for a good book, the first page of chapter 11 has let me down, so I'm knocking off the final star and giving up after only 26% of the book.  Sorry.  It has potential, but there are lots of things that could and should have been picked up with the first edit, waay before it was published.

Cor lummy!

I'm wiped out, in extreme pain and I'm shaking like a leaf in a thunderstorm, but so far today I've managed to run the virus scan (which was clear), taken my morning pills, had breakfast, done the news, got a letter which I scanned in just as the enabler arrived, but it's done and dusted now, taken my Calcium and that's me done in for the rest of the day now.  


The exercises will have to either happen just before I head to bed or won't be done at all.  It smells like lunch is pretty much ready, so I'm gonna publish this and put my laptop on the floor while I eat, which will hopefully give me a chance to recover and I can catch up on everything that I've missed this morning then.

Monday, 3 May 2021

I was wrong in my last post

I noticed that a book review is due to be posted tomorrow, so did some last minute checks and discovered that I'd missed putting the reminder in my calendar about putting the review on my homepage and Amazon, so I did that then got the reminder to take my final tablet of the day, so I'm gonna do that now and hopefully remember to put the review up at some point tomorrow.


It really is nite nite orl now though 😉 🤣

Another 54 minutes of care just for Steve since my last post, soooo...

...the total is now 5 hours and 9 minutes of sole care for him and still 9 minutes of joint care by Steve today.

I'm absolutely wiped out, so I'm gonna take my last pill of the day then head to bed.  Steve'll have to care for himself until 5.30am tomorrow, when my shift will start again and I bet he conveniently forgets to phone up about if the Neuro appointment can be done over the phone or if I really do need to be there in person.  AFAIK there are no physical exams needed to test your memory, right?

It's 3.50pm and so far today...

...I've cared for Steve alone (NOT joint things like putting the groceries away or making us both a drink) for 4 hours and 15 minutes, which means I've just got 45 minutes of care, for Steve alone, in the next 4 hours to have reached the daily minimum of care to get carers allowance.  Steve, OTOH, has cared for me alone (not joint) for 3 minutes.  If I include the joint things then the totals are that I've spent 4 hours 28 minutes caring for both of us, compared to Steve's 9 minutes of joint care.

If I react the same to my second Covid jab then there will be significantly less care for Steve starting on Friday afternoon, but pretty much the same of him caring for me... might increase to half an hour a day if I'm lucky, based on 12 weeks ago.

Just booked my...

...2nd Covid jab for Friday, just after lunch and adjusted Monday's grocery order, so other than literally 6 cans of ginger beer and 6 bottles of pop, the entire order is for Steve on Monday, so about £35 worth off stuff just for him and £6 for me that's gotta last us 7 days.  I bet Steve'll complain about how little stuff he's got again, too.  Depending on how much pop I get through before Friday, I might take off 3 bottles of pop and add another 6 cans of ginger beer to Monday's order, just in case it affects me as badly as the first jab did.

Gonna email the enabler now to give her as much notice as possible about how ill I might be feeling next week.  I've asked Steve and he said "see how you feel over the weekend first" then rolled his eyes at me, so yet again I'm having to do things that I've asked him, as my carer to do.  To give him appropriate credit though, he's done 2 things (made me a bottle of squash and tried to make a phone call) which in total has added up to 3 minutes of care so far this week.  I bet I won't get any more support out of him for the rest of this week though - if he's feeling really supportive then he might get me a single can of ginger beer on Friday afternoon, but that'll be it then.

News for 3rd May 2021

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3rd May 2021

Dog becomes parent to injured magpie, produces breast milk to feed her

What my lockdown calls to an old man taught me about laughter, life – and myself

From Best Friends to Platonic Spouses

Anthony Hopkins 'ghosted' Piers Morgan after giving him his telephone number

Social media abuse has changed me - Karen Carney

‘Hoop-la’ and ‘Spinner’ for 50s children - looking back at fun social events

AI used on Hampshire trains to help with social distancing

Bracknell Forest Council notes social isolation investigation

Delta’s Last Flight Blocking Middle Seats Signals End of Social Distancing

Local groups hold peaceful gathering to promote solidarity and discuss social injustice

So far this morning, I've...

...not done as much as I was hoping.  I've:  

  • set the virus scan running
  • refilled my pill box 'cos I seemingly forgot yesterday
  • taken my morning pills
  • made and brought in Steve's breakfast
  • weighed myself
  • uploaded last week's Fitbit spreadsheet to my homepage
  • brought the recycling stuff back in

which means that I can spend the rest of the morning, (and if it's like yesterday then the majority of the afternoon too) sorting out the daily news for you all.  Gotta remember to do my exercises today too though, so I'll go and do them now then I don't need to move off the sofa until Steve wants a drink, the rubbish has gone and our groceries have been delivered and put away.


Sunday, 2 May 2021

I was wrong and I'm sorry

Steve's still got his cake on it from 24 hours ago, so I've had to use my plate to make his lunch which means I'll go without lunch too.  I've eaten prescisely nothing so far today and it'll be too late to eat in a couple of hours, which ain't gonna help with my weight gain, but Steve doesn't seem to give a damn about that... it's "I'm alright Jack and that's all that matters" with him.


Battery is now re-charging, rubbish and recycling gone out for another week...

...the cake tray is soaking, and to quote Steve, "that's me done for the day now" even though all he's done is the washing up and taking the rubbish and carboard bags to the bottom of the stairs (literally 3 of his big steps from the middle of the kitchen) and left me to do everything else.  


Same as always.

So looks like it's down to me to make lunch again, for the 5th day this week, even though he's my carer and swears blind to anyone who will listen that he makes every meal, every day, and cares for me for 10-12 hours every day, despite the spreadsheets for the last two weeks proving that it's actually more like fifteen minutes a month or 3 hours if you include the 2 meals a week that he cooks for both of us.

I'm gonna start adding a support lable to each blog post where I talk about how much we actually support each other, starting with this one.

Fitbit charged up, virus scan completed, exercises...

...done and the spreadsheet uploaded to my site.  The laptop battery is now at 59% which means it's used up 41% in about an hour, which, considering my Fitbit was getting charged up using it too, isn't too bad at all!


Gonna work on my author news and just click on one link at a time then code and save the page, before I start on the next one I reckon.  Saves wasting the morning.


Mornin' all

How are you all doing so far today?


I've set the virus scan running, made a hot drink ☕ for me an' 'im, set my Fitbit charging, taken my morning pills 💊 and unplugged my laptop battery 🔋 for its monthly discharge.


My body definitely prefers me to take the Calcium at lunchtime, away from the morning Iron, not just when I take the FA, so I'm gonna keep doing that now 'cos I want my body to feel as well as possible, so if that means taking pills at different times then so be it 🤷

Gotta remember to do the rubbish and recycling and to refil my pill box after I've taken the Calcium at lunchtime.  I brought in the final slice of cake for Steve to have with his lunch 🍴 yesterday but he still hasn't eaten it, so I won't be able to have toast, so it'll just be bread and spread for breakfast and I bet he won't cook for lunch either, so it'll be the same again for lunch too.

Gonna wait until my Fitbit has finished charging up (and draining the laptop battery quicker 👍🤣) to do my final set of exercises of the week, then I can sort out getting it coded and uploaded to my homepage.  Might leave off doing the news until a bit later so that I don't lose my HTML if the battery dies in the middle of doing it, which would make me sooo angry and send my blood pressure through the roof.

Talking of anger... I've been suppressing my anger all my life but each time I reduce the doseage of the AP it all erupts like a volcano before I can stop it and end up hurting everyone by expressing opinions that they don't like but I've been forced to keep to myself for their comfort.  Do you happen to know of any safe, quiet, non-public ways of expressing it instead of upsetting everyone please?  I've never been taught how to safely express my emotions, so have been suppressing them for the last 35-40 years, only for them to explode when I reduce my AP and I've got no control of it, other than self-harming which I wanna avoid going back to if I possibly can.

Saturday, 1 May 2021

6 hours and 10 minutes of care so far today

I've provided Steve with individual care (as opposed to doing things for both of us) for 6 hours and 10 minutes so far today.  Steve (who's supposed to be my carer for 35 hours a week) has provided 2 minutes of care for me (he refilled my bottle of squash) today, yet he's registered as my carer even though the last 13 days have proved just how little that really is.  If I add up the amount of care he's provided for both of us this week, it still only adds up to 2 hours and 54 minutes for the entire week (and 2 hours of that was when the cake was baking) and my total, adding in the care I've provided for both of us, adds up to 16½ hours, so neither of us have cared for one another for long enough, but I've done over 5 times the amount of caring that Steve has and I've done 5 times the length of caring that Steve has, yet he proudly wheels out the carer lable whenever he wants to!


I've taken my last pill of the day and Steve's asleep again, so I'm gonna shut down and head to bed soon.


Nite nite orl.  Sea ewe in the morning.

News for Beltane (1st May 2021)

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1st May 2021

How Men Can Make Friends

Friendship Tips For Adult Women

'I signed up for a friendship dating app to find a new bestie in my 20s'

Befrienders wanted for social project with refugees and asylum seekers