...blessed Samhain tonight.
Enjoy your celebrations and stay safe.
May your God/dess bless you tonight and keep you safe and healthy.
19 out of 20 which ain't bad going at all. I've done all the editing and moving around of the appropriate bits of code on my navigation page and you can see the diploma on the 'completed courses' page.
Gonna go and have my well-deserved reward and preparation for NaNo now... a long, hot, lavendar-scented bubble bath 🛀 now. I'm hoping that half my Yule gifts that I bought yesterday will be delivered today.
Steve's heard from his cousin (the vet nurse) about the puppy too - she hasn't eaten anything today but has been sick three times so she wants to get a different vet to have a read through her notes to see if they can shed any more light onto how she's feeling and how to help her to feel better.
I've taken my morning and afternoon pills, let the virus scan do it's thang and started studying a children's writing course in preparation for tomorrow. Just finished eating me porridge and talking of food, Steve wanted to know what I wanted for breakfast tomorrow and I said toast 'cos of NaNo. It's gonna have to be toast for breakie and instant zoop for lunch until I've finished it, so that I can get a few more calories into me.
I've been through a few webhosts over the last 2 decades ('cos of them being sold off or going out of business or whatever) but each new host has been amazing with their support. In just one afternoon I've managed to get two problems fixed with two of my sites and they are working perfectly again now!
Thank you so so much, TSO Host!
...all ready to have one last hot drink before I take my last two pills of the day and head to bed.
Planning on having a loooong soak in a hot bubble bath 🛀 at some point tomorrow, to hopefully relax my muse so that I can make an instant start on NaNo as soon as I come down here on Sunday.
...I'm doing the backups then I can upload the photo's of the puppy dog from yesterday to my homepage and check my email for the first time in 3 days without needing to reboot my machine.
My mum's and my youngest nephew's is coming tomorrow then everything else in 3 packages between the 3rd and 10th November. Steve will have to answer the door 'cos I'll be taking part in NaNo, but that's me sorted for another year now.
...1 litre this morning, despite only being awake for about 90 minutes and I've asked Steve to take some stuff off the shopping so that I can get Christmas gifts for our nephews without going overdrawn.
Steve's just said that the first payment for the electric comes out on 1st December, so I'll use the £55 that I moved over for the gifts then start properly when I'm next paid. I refuse to let Steve control my money any more... it's £175 for the electric a month and not a penny more than £45 a week for the groceries otherwise it comes out of his pocket instead of mine.
So that the patties don't go off in the freezer over the next two weeks, Steve's having 6 patties in 4 rolls and I'm having my usual 2 patties in 2 buns... gotta quickly sort out under my table so that I can put my laptop on the floor under it before they are ready though, so I'll do that now.
Be back after we've eaten❗ 🍴
Apparently she's already eaten scrambled eggs and Digestive biscuits along with her new pain relief that's gotta be taken with food, so hopefully she'll keep eating and be back with us tomorrow. I certainly hope so, 'cos my heart is already in tatters after less than half an hour❗ 💔
...I accidentally opened my email programme twice (once yesterday afternoon and again this morning), which would have taken a lot longer for it to finish, so I rebooted and started it again. I'm hoping it'll be finished by tomorrow lunchtime now.
...human bowl and she very slowly ate the lot, so either her metal bowl isn't right for her any more or she just doesn't like the taste of her doggy food. Either way, if that's what it takes to get her to eat anything then so be it! If it means getting 3 dozen eggs a week and giving it to her in a human bowl, then that's OK with me... I just want her to be happy.
Estimated cost: £44.93
Steve's stuff: £33.38
Which means that there is only £11.55 of joint and my stuff
Take off the 50p delivery charge: £11.05
Which means Steve's got over ⅔ of the total spend of the grocery stuff just for him but I bet he'll want me to take off something of mine (6 bottles of pop and 2 boxes of instant soup which comes to £5.50) so that he can add yet more of his own. He wouldn't let me do that with something he was paying for, but assumes it's OK every week with our groceries.
After NaNo, the soups will come off too, which leaves me with £4.20 worth of stuff and the rest will either be Steve's stuff or joint, just like next week. Not happy at all.
The puppy hasn't eaten again today, so Steve's cousin suggested giving her scrambled eggs for breakfast tomorrow then she'll come and pick her up for an overnight stay at some point tomorrow. Steve's cousin is going to have a word in the shell-like of a vet about getting some painkillers sorted for her until we've got her teeth sorted out. I just want her to be OK❗
The monthly virus scan is still chugging away, so I'm gonna tick the box to shut down my laptop when its finished.
The puppy really didn't fancy going for her second walk today, so I did a few more practise sessions with the slopey bits out the back. I wobbled a little bit once, but my confidence immediately was better than I was thinking or even hoping for.
This time next month I'll be worth more dead than alive.
...for Steve alone. The grand total for the entire shop is £42.87 and £28.40 of that is Steve's stuff alone (crisps and meat and biscuits etc, so not even healthy stuff), so I'll know who to ask to take stuff off if I need to!
I remembered not to open my email programmes this morning, so the virus scan started without me getting stressed out or in a bad mood. My FitBit has very nearly finished charging up and I've taken my morning pills.
I'm hoping to plan out my JanNo novel today, if my muse ever wakes up.
My FitBit has just finished charging... only took a couple of hours this morning, which is awesome❗
Steve's finished doing next week's grocery shop and has managed to add £15 worth of groceries just for him. All unhealthy stuff like crisps, biscuits and cookies instead of fruit and veg. He's put two blocks of cheese (our regular and a mature block that I don't like) on there so I'm gonna go and take off our usual one now otherwise it's a waste of money.
Had my breakfast and Steve reckon's it's stopped raining, so I'm gonna take our dishes through to the kitchen, then try and persuade the puppy to take me on our morning walk.
...monthly deep virus scan. It'll be running overnight, but it's only once a month so that's OK. Need to remember not to open either of my email programmes though.... you watch me forget though❗ 😉 Might use the opportunity to study or do housekeeping on my sites or plan my JanNo novel or something... use the opportunity wisely as it's my last chance before NaNo starts on 1st November and I doubt I'll feel up to planning it after that 'cos my muse'll be overworked by that point and in desperate need of a break.
The puppy is in her bed, snoring away and apparently she didn't eat her food or go outside overnight. Steve thinks it's her way of coping with painful teeth, so I hope he manages to get the promised money together for the vet to have her teeth looked at! I bet he'll ask me for the money back though, a week after it's done, yet he already owes me thousands this year and hasn't paid back a penny of it or made a start on the software I paid him in advance for! One rule for him, another for me, seemingly.
...electricity just about to be sorted out. Steve's on the phone to them now and I really can't afford a penny more.
Need to cancel the Dogs Trust stuff though, which I'm not at all happy about. I've already cancelled everything except the groceries and life insurance but Steve's cancelled buggar all of his payments which I don't see as fair at all 😠
My nurse wants me to put on 6kg of weight by January so that she's happy that I'm eating enough to function and I've achieved about 300g gain each week since she told me that. I just haven't been moving as much and aiming to turn the FitBit calorie graph significantly red each day.
It's been blue (not enough calories in) twice this week, but today will hopefully make up for that, 'cos I've eaten 3,677 calories which is 2,097 calories over target today... woops❗ Definitely one of my highest (if not the actual highest) since I got it and made a conscious effort to control my calories, exercise and weight. Hopefully the scales will show that I'm at least 54kg when I weigh myself tomorrow... if it does, then I've put on 2kg since the end of August, which is awesome and I'll only have to put on another 4kg before January then.
...I've taken my pills, had my breakfast (porridge) and lunch (cake) and have been reading a book while waiting to hear about the puppy and when she'll be home. Gonna spend the rest of the afternoon reading and reviewing the book then take things from there. The morning's virus scan was clear and I'm slowly building up confidence about going up and down slopes now, after practising using the wheelchair slopes yesterday and just now. I'm still nervous about it, but my anxiety wasn't through the roof when I did it just now.
...heading to bed pretty much straight away and hopefully remembering to change the bedroom clock-radio in the knowledge that I'll get an extra hour in bed and that I don't have to be up early to take the puppy for her morning stroll tomorrow.
Apparently the puppy is still off her food so Helen wants to try her with a different one in case it's the flavour that she doesn't like (it seems, for the moment at least, like she doesn't like the "Chappie original" flavour so Helen's gonna try her on the "Chappie chicken and liver" one instead) then we'll take it from there. Gotta love her pickiness and Westitude 🙄🤣
I somehow managed to convince the chef to cook the spaghetti and meat free meatballs after all and we agreed that it tasted especially good today too. We only used half a bag of cheese too, instead of our standard full bag for some reason, so that's back in the fridge ready for us to use again. We're getting good at this portioning thing and we don't often waste food any more, which is even better❗
Next week is the last full week of solid food until I've finished NaNo, then solid food again in December while I plan out my JanNo novel then start 2021 with zoops again.
Need to work out which course(s) to study this afternoon now. Which one do you reckon I should do please❓ You can see the list here and leave me a comment to let me know in reply to this blog post. I'm thinking one of the ones with less than 3 modules so that I can be sure to finish studying at a reasonable time tonight.
"Might be sandwiches for dinner instead today, sorry" which is fine and dandy, as long as he doesn't get back into the not cooking most of the time again, 'cos I can't afford any more bribes until the electric has been paid off.
...puppy's poo moved, soooo I'm all set for the day now. I'm thinking that I'll go and do laps of the house and yard and practice going up and down the slopey bits today. Steve's said we're having spaghetti and meat-free balls for lunch today so that we can try and use up more of the mountain of spaghetti we've got... we didn't realise just how much spaghetti is in a 1kg pack so we've barely touched it so far 🙄 and we've got at least two or three more meals in the pack too 😄
I'm hoping to study another course today too... not sure which one yet though, prolly a short one so that I can do the laps, have my lunch and be there for the puppy when she comes home today. I hope she's eaten and poo'd while she's been gone and she was just having an off-day yesterday with her not wanting to eat after her breakfast and no pooing 😟
...the money problems and electric sorted and a way to pay for the puppy's vet bill too - apparently we'll have a discussion about it when Steve's finished in the bathroom 🚽. Things potentially aren't as bleak as they were 24 hours ago though❗
Still free of nasties and I'm dosed up until lunchtime, just waiting for the puppy to be ready for her stroll, Steve to phone the nPower man that came out at lunchtime yesterday, the can covers to arrive and the puppy to go back with Helen.
The puppy seems to be ready for her walk now, so I'll take her out and settle in for the rest of the day then.
...just gotta sort out the puppy's morning stroll, breakfast and her medication now, then keep our ear on the door for Steve's prescription then that's it for the day. Gonna try and get into studying again too, now that I've sorted my site out.
It's Thursday but I'm only just having my first caffeinated drink of the week, incredibly, and I've got fresh lemons and honey in the kitchen to try and knock this cold on it's head before it gets too settled.
I've ordered some air-tight lids for the puppy's food which'll hopefully mean that we don't have to keep it in the bag any more and it's better for keeping it fresh too. They are on Prime so will be here at some point tomorrow. I went to the donation bit first too, so the Dogs Trust are gonna get a donation from it too, so it's worth it all round.
Steve's made me a hot honey and lemon but put half the lemon in instead of just one or two slices 🙄🤣
Time to go and give the puppy her lunch and we're having 🍔 burgers for lunch, which is our tradition the day after the groceries are delivered, so that the bread rolls are still fresh instead of hard and/or gone off.
...swallowed, so now I'm just trying to find a Favicon for each of my sites then I'm gonna head to bed for the night.
Prolly won't post any more blog messages tonight, so I'll say nite nite orl now and I'll be back tomorrow 💤
...which course I'm gonna study when the groceries have been put away and the puppy has been walked, fed and medicated for the last time today. I'm pondering on re-jigging the list of courses on my navigation page so that they're in the same order as on the New Skills Academy site which'll hopefully make the courses easier to find in future. What do you think I should do though please❓ Studying or website updating❓
...create the weekly system restore point then check my emails, just in time for the shopping to arrive, then I'm gonna study this afternoon - just gotta decide which course to start on.
...a soggy stroll, 💩poo'd again (which I, of course, picked up and brought home) and the virus scan has just finished, so time to start my weekly backups now. Not bad going for a morning that started off slowly.
...just need to take the puppy out for her morning stroll then that's it until lunchtime then. Got 3 photo's of the puppy to put on my homepage while she's asleep, then we'll both go out and about.
Remembered not to open my email this morning 'cos of the weekly virus scan, which is about half way through atm, so hopefully it'll be finished before our groceries are delivered so that I can do my weekly backups.
...LinkedIn then I'm off to beddy-byes for another early night.
The morning has totally slipped past me today. I've taken my morning pills, run the daily virus scan, checked my emails, coded and uploaded a couple of photos and a video of the puppy dog to my homepage, almost bought a couple of courses from the New Skills Academy, but I can't afford it until tomorrrow's groceries have been paid for, added another course I wanna take to my navigation page and queried 3 agents after the SCBWI online party. I've had a busy morning, but this afternoon will hopefully be quieter 🙄😁
Just taken another video of the sleepy puppy. She was snoring like a good 'un before and after I started filming her, but not during it... tsk. I'll code and upload it to my homepage as soon as it's finished uploading to YouTube.
Haven't taken the puppy out for a stroll yet today in case her bottom isn't up to it again. Maybe when Steve get's back from his medical appointment if the puppy is feeling up to it then though❓
...I've taken my last two pills of the day so I'm off to bed for an early night for a change.
Nite nite orl, sea ewe in the morning.
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ out of 5
I've read 8 chapters before lunch and it's been a fantastic book so far, WTG the author. I thought that the swearing on the first page would be a signal of swearing throughout and it'd spoil a potentially good book, but I was wrong... there *is* swearing, but it's well-placed and not just written for the sake of being written.
I'm wondering about the semi-frequent use of big brand names though, if the author hasn't got written permission from the brands to use them, then they could be in a lot of hot water if the brands find out!
Just finished this book and it definitely deserves every one of those 5 stars that everything I review starts off with. If you've got a day of boredom ahead of you, get your nose into this book and hopefully you won't regret it, I certainly don't.
...outside our back door to start practising walking up and down slopes so that I'll hopefully be more confident using the one in the pavement that's just outside my GP surgery. Almost fell over twice but the last time I went up and down it I achieved it without holding on to the wall, so I stopped trying then so that I didn't lose the confidence it gave me lol
The food processor is going at 🕑 2pm so I'll try again after that's been picked up... I'm feeling really hopeful that I'll feel semi-confident about it by the time the puppy comes home though 🤞
...still clear, spreadsheets up on my homepage, rubbish and recycling collected and containers brought back in, slopes adjusted, food processor going at 2pm, which means I've got a couple of hours to work on my slope confidence using my quad cane.
...the food processor to go now then there will be loads of space for food preparation and dishing up and stuff. In theory we can put the bread machine and slow cooker on there too, but we do very occasionally use them, so I'd like to keep hold of them just as a standby, like with our microwave.
The puppy's had her tea and her second pill of the day, so just waiting for me to take my last two now then we can all chill out until bed time.
Taken my pills, including the Calcium (because it's Saturday so I don't take the FA today) so I'm all dosed up until tonight now. Had almost 10 hours of sleep last night and I'm freeeeeeezing now! The daily virus scan is under way and the pasta machine is going at lunchtime today so then it's time to put the ice cream maker up on Freegle.
...as I'm legally required to do, I picked it up, finished our walk, came home and fed her, so hopefully she'll be able to have a quiet night tonight. I'm gonna hopefully have an early night tonight too, so I'm gonna take my last two pills of the day at 7pm on the dot then pretty much head straight to bed.
Apparently the puppy is going back with Helen on Sunday and coming back on Monday, so I'll temporarily make our 'marathon Monday' strolls into a 'trecking Tuesday' just until she's back home full-time again. Her health is a priority and we need to do what's best for her, so if that means shunting the once a week long walk to a different day, then so be it.
...went out for a 💩 poo then came back in and curled up in front of the heater, bless 'er.
I'm gonna add a couple of fresh lemons and squeezy bottle of honey to the shopping now before I forget, then get this morning's photos of the puppy dog up on my homepage and take her out for her last walk of the day... assuming she wakes up before it gets too dark of course 😉
Just renewed one of my many domains for another year, and after my hosting company sorted out the issue they were having with their site it was all done and dusted in literally 1 minute - I just logged in, clicked a button on the invoice, waited for a few seconds while my hosting company took the money et voila.
...what's the difference between a police officer/PCSO and a "law enforcement officer" please?
While I was walking the puppy this morning she made friends with a "law enforcement officer" whose uniform looked like a traffic wardens, but the "law" bit is the bit that's confusing me 'cos it sounds like a more general legal thing like the police as opposed to just vehicles like traffic wardens! Are they like highly trained traffic wardens or something please?
The puppy scoffed her breakfast straight away this morning and other than being a touch anxious at the start of our stroll, she's back to the puppy that we know and love again, thankfully.
She's got a dental thing to go through that's gonna cost over £300, but she's an old lady now, so that's to be expected!
Marie very kindly got me an' 'im a box of doughnuts to share as a joint birthday gift, so that's 3 people who are getting birthday gifts next year now.
I took my pills before we went for our stroll and put more courses that I want to do on my navigation page. Had porridge with golden syrup for my brekkie and we're having the doughnuts for our lunch, so my blood sugar is gonna be through the roof today 🙄🤣
My laptop is still free of viruses and malware, thankfully, so my friends are all safe from this machine. It may not be necessary to run virus scans as often as I do, but it gives me peace of mind, so it's worth it to me.
I've already taken a couple of photos of the sleepy puppy in her bed before we went for our morning stroll, so I'll put them up on my homepage now, while I'm waiting for my prescriptions to be delivered.
...pay me back for the almost £2,000 I've lent him since March and he replied "I said I'll do it" meaning the software that's almost 18 months late, but taking that payment into account too, it's getting on for £4,000 he's had off me this year but he's demanding the £187 back as soon as he got the invoice. Maybe I should do like he does and keep promising to pay him back but keep putting it off and putting it off for 7 or 8 months, then deny that I owe him it. He wouldn't put up with it, but he's been doing exactly that and gets arsey whenever I bring it up.
I'll keep putting up with it until December 30th, but as soon as it ticks over to 1st January, I won't put up with it any more.
We've got a new routine to get into with her food 'cos she's having the wet and dry mixed together, but Steve says he'll do the weighing out of it when he does our porridge each morning then we've just gotta mix it up for her three meals each day.
As predicted, with the money, to quote Steve he said "I can phone up and pay the bill tomorrow, but I'm gonna need the money back sooner rather than later" so, yet again, he wants credit for paying it, but the money will be coming out of my account. Again.
Just had an email from the New Skills Academy with loads of courses that I wanna take so I've added them all to my navigation page and in particular the courses I wanna take page. The list is getting loooong again, so it'll keep me busy and out of trouble after NaNo and JanNo 😀
...rejigging, coding and uploaded a more organised navigation on my homepage - if you've been recently then hit Ctrl F5 'cos there's a couple of changes to the navigation as well as photos and videos of our senior puppy, but if you haven't visited for a while then there is more to see and it's more organised now too, so go and take a peek and leave me a message in my guestbook? Please?
Steve's just had a message about the puppy... she's on a combination of wet and dry food for the moment "until her dental stuff is sorted out, then she can go back onto her normal food". Basically it sounds like her teeth have been playing her up which is why she was so reluctant to eat, but mixing the wet and dry is working for her right now, so when the dental stuff is sorted she'll hopefully be back to her usual cheeky, happy, cuddly, terrier self soon. Considering her age (11.5 years young) and that she didn't have the best start in life (she's a rescued puppy courtesy of the Dogs Trust who came to us with half a body of fur that the Dogs Trust had been treating since she was given up by her previous owners), she's been a really good, mostly healthy, addition to our little family!
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ out of 5
This is my second ever memoir and it's starting off, like all the books I review, with the full 5 stars... I hope it keeps them all the way through!
I'm currently reading chapter 2 and I've already found a possible inconsistency between real geography and what the author has written lol.
Ah right, I've just been proved wrong by the hubby's quick search of the internet... apparently the distance is about right and the 18 hour days could be the time he was working as opposed to travelling, so ignore that part of the review up there ^^ lol
This is a fantastic book so far... I'm currently up to chapter 6 and I'll keep reading and reviewing it when I log on tomorrow. Goodnight for now though.
Morning! I'm about half way through the book now and I'm still enjoying it... I agree with the author's regret over not keeping a record of my achievements and mistakes since I came out of hospital... my memory is still atrocious and can barely remember 5 minutes ago, but that's a vast improvement to when I first came out of hospital and I couldn't even make it through saying a short sentence before I forgot what I was going to say and holding a conversation was pretty much impossible unless each speaker only said maybe 4 or 5 words, maximum. I can hold a very short conversation with people I know well now though which is a huuuuge improvement and the diary would have shown me just how great that improvement had been. I wish this book had been written and published 17 years ago, for that reason alone!
I'm reading chapter 10 atm and I'm wondering if mindfullness might help my damaged brain too, even after all these years?! I certainly hope so and I'm gonna try and remember to ask a doc about it during my next appointment with them. This book would have really helped me over 15 years ago after I came out of the Neurology ward!
This man is incredible! He's running now, so maybe if he can do it then I just need to find the right focus and motivation too? His was collecting up all his golf balls, maybe mine can be something similar? Tiny steps and aims but hopefully that would make things more achievable wouldn't it?
Just finished and it's been a fantastic book throughout - it should be recommended to all patients with Neurological issues and has completely deserved the full 5 stars throughout. A definite must-read.
Just heard back about the senior puppy - she's not coming home today after all 💔 and won't be until tomorrow evening 'cos she needs to be bathed and there is something wrong with her teeth, as well as needing a thyroid check-up, so that's being sorted now, waiting for the blood test results and she's getting a bath then hopefully coming home after Steve's cousin finishes work tomorrow 😢
Blood results are back and her thyroid meds need to be doubled and all treats cut out completely again, 'cos she's 9.7kg instead of 8kg, so no more licking bowls or plates or bits of sandwiches from Steve and no biscuits for doing poo's any more either. It's what is best for her though and that has to be top priority.
...I'm all dosed up until this evening now, just waiting for the shopping to be delivered, then we'll put it away and wait for our little puppy to come home from the vets this evening!
I've done exactly 1,000 steps so far today, so the puppy obviously makes up for the other 6,000-ish steps every day. My steps graphs on my exercise spreadsheets are going to be invisible today 'cos there's no way I'll do another 4,000 steps before I head to bed and 5k is the minimum on the sit-ups and leg raises graph lol Won't be able to take any more days off with the steps for the rest of the month either, so that I hit my target of 28 days of at least 7k steps a day lol
The virus scan has finished already❗ Only took about 3 and a bit hours❗ It did, of course, help that I didn't open my email programmes so didn't need to reboot 😆🙄🤣
I've just started the backups, so I'm hoping 🤞 that'll go through first time too and will be finished by about lunchtime.
Came downstairs, set the virus scan going (even remembered not to open my email programmes), Steve opened his birthday gifts from me and my mum, took my morning pills, had my brekkie and ordered my FILs birthday gift from me and the puppy. Deliberately didn't put Steve's name on it and it'll hopefully be obvious that Steve had no input into it when he opens it. The only time Steve's name is going on gifts for Yule is for our two nephews, everyone else will just be from me and the puppy.
I'm missing our little puppy sooo much and can't wait for her to get home this evening - she's the smallest being in the house, but has a huuuge personality and really fills the house with love, more than her humans ever could!
I'm not gonna move far from the sofa today, so that I can make the calories in/out graph even redder than usual, which, in turn, will hopefully help me to put on weight next week.
Had a veeeery early start this morning, so took my pills first thing, before I forgot again, then took the puppy out and had to literally hand feed her again, then Steve had my doughnuts and I had a banana for breakfast then he went off to his medical appointment and I just about had time to upload my weekly Fitbit report to my homepage before the enabler came about clearing out the house. She brought someone with her and basically Steve's gotta bag up all the clothes he wants to keep and we've both gotta email the enabler with proof of our incomings and outgoings, which is fine by me, but I bet Steve'll conveniently forget again, just like he did with the expenses he was supposed to do and email her 6 weeks ago but didn't tell me until literally an hour or so before she arrived last time.
I've done everything I can now, just gotta wait for the ESA payment then I'll email it to her and it'll be up to Steve then. I refuse to take the blame for things that I didn't even know about any more.
The Christmas gifts will be from just me again, but I bet Steve does what he did last year and claims that I forgot to add his name again. Starting in 2021 I'll just be getting gifts for people who got me gifts the previous year, so I'll be getting my mum and C birthday gifts and getting my mum, C and Steve's family a birthday card each, but that's it now. I refuse to repeatedly get blamed for things and Steve getting credit for the things I've done. Someone (C maybe??) said that I was a bit naieve sometimes, well not any more... I will take the blame only when something is my fault and I will treat others how they've been treating me from next year onwards. Hopefully that'll thin out the people who say they care about me from the ones who genuinely do.
I've only just remembered to take my supplements and the B12, especially, is already working it's magic 'cos I've got more energy (maybe not such a good thing so close to bed time 🙄), my head is clearer, my vision is sharper... it's brilliant!
The reason that the afternoon and evening have been so busy though is 'cos I've fed the puppy twice and she didn't touch it, I've walked her for the last part of 'marathon Monday' and she's got an appointment with the vet on Wednesday afternoon about her not eating for the last 4 or 5 days. I managed to get today's food into her by wettening it and hand feeding her, so Steve says his cousin (the vet nurse) says it could be her teeth or a stomach bug that's currently going around. I just want her to be OK!
So far today I've started the virus scan, taken my morning pills, brought the rubbish sack in, walked the puppy, brought the cardboard bag and recycling box back through, had my breakfast, fed the puppy (she didn't eat as much as I'd hoped yesterday) and weighed myself.
I've somehow lost 750g in the last 7 days, and the only thing I can think that has changed has been that I had breakfast and weighed myself before taking the puppy out for her stroll last week and Steve "can't be arsed" to cook earlier now and the puppy isn't so eager to go for her walks any more, so I'm gonna take this week's weight as the baseline to work from unless/until things change again. I've still put on 1kg since I was weighed to start with by the nurse though, so it's going in the right direction at least. Assuming I put on at least that much every month, hopefully the nurse will be happy when I go back and see her in January.
...if the same happens for her three meals tomorrow, then I can officially stop worrying and feed her when the humans are fed in the same place that her humans are eating then hopefully she will eat too. Maybe dogs need reassurance that they won't be left while they're eating??
...the reason that the puppy has eaten such a small amount in the last week, isn't because she's ill or in pain or on the verge of going to Rainbow Bridge or anything like that, it's not even Westitude, she's just suddenly become a very social eater and doesn't like eating alone any more.
Because since this morning's experiment after her walk of bringing her food bowl into the living room, she's eaten a full meal twice and each time it was when at least one of her humans was eating. First off it was when the human's were having their lunch, she went to her bowl and polished off pretty much all of her breakfast for the first time in about a week, and I've just opened up my last couple of Graze snacks (both chocolate this time, so I couldn't share them with her) and she went from being deeply asleep to polishing off her breakfast and lunch in one go before I'd even finished the second punnet!
I'm also wondering if she struggles with having her food bowl on the floor 'cos she went straight to her slightly raised food bowl the second time and scoffed the lot. That small raise seemed to make the world of difference to her too, so I'm thinking for her tea today and all 3 meals tomorrow, we'll try feeding her here in the living room, with us, when we have our meals just to see if my theory is right. If I am, then it's a tiny adjustment to make to keep our puppy eating and I'll research getting a raised feeding station for her too.
Got up late for me at almost 🕖 7am, then took my pills 💊, walked and fed the puppy, sorted out the rubbish and recycling, collected up the puppy's poo 💩, sorted out the living room and bathroom bins then took it all out ready to be collected tomorrow.
Steve's birthday gift is now out for delivery, so hopefully it'll be here within a few hours, instead of at 🕘 9pm.
We're having chips for lunch, so I'm gonna dive into my Graze box to increase my calories too. Gotta remember to wear my other boots when I weigh myself tomorrow, so that as much as possible is the same each week.
My daily virus scan came back clear again, which is reassuring.
Gonna catch up with my emails and Facebook now.
...what I'm getting everyone for Yule too, just gotta save up for it now. My mum is getting two gifts off me - one at the end of October/beginning of November when it's released and a second token gift for her that says how my heart feels for her to open on Christmas Day.
Steve's birthday gift is due tomorrow but he ain't opening it until the morning of his birthday 👍
I'm gonna veg out for the rest of the evening, now that I've taken the puppy for her walk and fed her. Taken a 5 minute video of the sleepy puppy first though... just uploading it to YouTube then I'll put it on my homepage.
Very early start to the day.
Was awake before 🕟 4.30am and didn't think Steve would appreciate me coming down that early, so stayed in bed until gone 🕔 5am by which time I had given up on the idea of going back to sleep and I've been down here ever since.
I've taken my daily pills, including the Calcium, so I'm all dosed up until this evening now.
The virus scan has already finished and I'm still free of nasties, thankfully, so it's time to work out what to do with the rest of the day now. It's still pitch black out there, so I can't even take the puppy out for her morning stroll yet 😞
Got 3 birthday gifts and 9 Yule gifts waiting patiently in my saved items, ready for slowly buying as I get a bit of spare money. It's about a month later than usual for me, but it's sorted now and I can go to bed.
Nite nite orl 💤
It took a while to get her out of her bed and her harness on, bless 'er, but she's been fine ever since then.
I've also decided to get one final birthday gift for Steve, his sister and his dad 'cos I got gifts for his mum and brother, but starting on 1st January 2021 I'm only getting gifts for people who have got me gifts this year, so it really will be 2 gifts and 3 cards for birthdays in 2021 and potentially only 2 Yule gifts for my mum and C. I don't give to receive and never have, but I don't like spending several hundred pounds on gifts each year when that is rarely returned either. From now on the support and gifts I get is returned and nothing more than that. If you expect me to support you when you are having a rough day, then I expect that support to be returned.
Same with money... I'm happy to lend you money if I can afford it, but I also want that money returned. I'm going to create a spreadsheet of all the money I've lent to people and expect it to be returned too.
I will also not pay for things until they have been delivered either - I've paid Steve to write software for me twice now and I've paid in advance but the first piece of software was getting on for 2 years later than he promised and the most recent piece of software is currently 17 months overdue and is "coming along slowly" despite being promised that it'd only take 10 weeks.
I'm not putting up with it any more. Come the New Year I'll be a lot less naive and trusting.
We had s'getti and meat free meatballs for lunch which we haven't had for aaaaages and it was completely yummy. We're both totally stuffed and Steve's currently sleeping it off 😄 We've still, apparently, got "over half" of the packet of spaghetti left too, so that's even better value than we were thinking - 40p for at least 4 meals is great value for money❗ I'm thinking it'll be s'getti and sauce at some point over the weekend so that we can use it up before it goes off. I'm just glad that the waistband on my trousers is elasticated 😌
...I'm all dosed up until this evening now.
We're having s'getti and vegan meatballs for lunch, just for a change. If we don't get the sauce all over us and drop at least one forkful of spaghetti down us, it'll be a true miracle 🤣
...apparently they took a biopsy while I was getting the coil replaced and it only showed benign changes, fortunately no cancer or pre-cancer at all, which is reassuring to know... wish I'd been told that they were taking a biopsy though, ideally before they put me under or if that wasn't possible then definitely when I came round and while I was still there in case I had any questions❗
I've taken my morning pills, completed the virus scan, gone through my emails, caught up with the 3 things I've got on Freegle, had my breakfast and sorted out the photo's Steve took of the puppy dog and put it on my site - there was literally no difference between them, so I've just put one up. My birthday boots are due either today or tomorrow then that's it.
I've decided that starting in 2021 I will only get gifts for people who have got me gifts the previous year, so it should be a very cheap year... two gifts (to my mum and C) and three cards (to my mum, C and the in-laws). I'm guessing it'll be the same at Christmas too, a card for my mum and C and the same with the gifts. I'm fed up of spending my money on gifts for people and either Steve getting credit (because I "must have forgotten to add my [Steve's] name") for it or nothing at all in return (Steve, H and D). I'll donate money to the two people who donated to mine but that's it.
I refuse to keep being forgotten and everyone else assuming that I'll get them a gift. I'll get gifts for both of my nephews and say that it's from Steve too, 'cos they are waaaay too young to understand, but everyone else will get what they've given me the previous year. I'm not going to be a push-over any more.
The puppy's awake now, so I'm gonna take her for her first stroll of the day now.
Just finished today's course at my first attempt with a score of 85.19% (there were 27 assessment questions instead of the usual 30 for some reason) with at least two (lunch and the puppy's second walk), possibly three (can't remember if I'd already started it when I took the puppy out this morning) long breaks which is even better.
I've updated the appropriate pages on my navigation site now, so I'm gonna check my emails now then relax until it's time for my last two pills of the day, then head to bed for another early night. I've currently done 7,033 steps according to my Fitbit app, so I've already hit my daily steps for OctoberFEST within the community site so I'm feeling pretty good about that too.
I had the idea that maybe the puppy wasn't eating 'cos she was eating in the kitchen instead of with us, so I brought her food bowl in and put it on the floor for her.
She devoured it within seconds.
She's obviously become more of a social eater as she ages 'cos she's 11 now, so maybe that's what they do in the wild or something❓❓ I'm just relieved that she's got food in her stomach now and if that's what it takes to get her to eat her meals, then so be it. 🤷
...only ate literally 3 bits of her food. I put her tea down at about 🕡 6.30pm last night, but Steve said it took her until 🕙 10pm to eat it. She seems healthy in every other way, just doesn't want her food as soon as I put it down for her atm is all.
It started raining so I used the opportunity to try out the jacket I bought with a voucher I got with my birthday. It's supposed to be unisex but you can almost fit two of me inside the small so it's definitely aimed more at men 🙄🤣
Time to get on with the studying now... maybe a module before lunch then the other four after we've eaten? We're having burgers again, home-made of course, with mayo and home-grown onions.
I've just taken my pills, so just my prescriptions to go tonight now.
Steve's decided that I should do the 'negotiation skills' course today (you can go here to see which ones are currently waiting for me to study them and here to see which ones I want to take but haven't signed up for yet), which, apparently, is 5 modules long so I'm hoping I'll be finished this afternoon and can have another early night.
Just started my daily virus scan which'll hopefully be finished by lunchtime too, then I can have my lunch and keep studying.
I put a rare-for-me photo of the puppy dog up on my homepage last night... she was actually looking straight into the camera❗
Time to shut up and start studying now. BBL.
I've put a photo of the puppy dog on my homepage but that's pretty much all I've achieved this afternoon.
I'll try to do better tomorrow... might even study a course again, but for now it's nite nite orl again.
...I'm still free of nasties.
Chris has had his birthday gift handed to him by the deliverer and the first package of my 3 birthday gifts is due today "by 9pm" which is cool and groovy.
Apparently we're having the scrambly eggs for "a late lunch or early tea after the shopping has been and gone" now 🙄
Got a spectacular amount of sleep last night, according to my FitBit app - 10 hours and 47 minutes and I was restless 10 times, which ain't bad going at all.
I've taken my pills and started the virus scan... even remembered not to open my email this morning, which meant I didn't need to reboot loads of times and get stressed out about it.
We're having scrambly egg for our late breakfast today, then I'll take the puppy out for her walk, have lunch, bring the groceries in and put them away then we can both relax.
The puppy has been fed, walked and medicated as have I (got my last two pills to take in about half an hour), watched an hour-long video while Steve was at his medical appointment and cleared my two caches ready for tomorrow's weekly virus scan... how many times do you reckon I'll have to reboot before I remember not to open up my email programmes❓ 🙄
I'm gonna take my last two pills then have an early night I reckon... nite nite orl and I'll sea ewe 2morro. 💤
...we can all relax until lunchtime now.
...she needs a poo 💩, so I'll wait until she's done that then take her out for our first stroll of the day. I'm not gonna force her to go out before she's ready today, 'cos she didn't go out until gone 6pm 🕕 yesterday, so I wanna let her recover from that first.
...so I'm all set for the day now. Gonna try and remember to take the puppy for her walk before it gets too dark today 🤣
Because I went to the hospital for the blood test yesterday, as well as doing my nightly exercises, I achieved over 11k steps for the first time since the nurse said to increase my weight (that was when I stopped doing my hourly laps), so I had to update the spreadsheet this morning which was easier than I was dreading, thankfully.
...TV and washing machine. Still owe them over £250 too. I've got buggar all in my savings or current account now but at least we only owe £1100 instead of £1400 and we have, hopefully, still got a roof over our heads and the ability to wash our clothes and watch the telly.
Steve had better do exactly what I ask, whenever I request something now... he owes me that at the very least.
Not a happy camper at all right now.
...a huge chunk of what we owed on the mortgage and found out for myself the shocking reality of just how many payments Steve's missed on the mortgage... it wasn't £300 like he told me on Saturday, nor was it £415 like he told me yesterday, the reality is over £800.
If he had been honest with me months ago then my trust in him stood a chance of being repaired.
Not any more though.
As soon as the back payments have been paid off, I'll be keeping a closer eye on it now that I've got the phone number to call and the account number of our policy. From now on I have zero trust in Steve and I won't believe a word he says from now on.
...phoned up to check, it has been and the receptionist wished me a happy birthday too. I love and appreciate my GP surgery... they are the best ever and can't recommend them highly enough.
Time to go for yet another wee (gotta love caffeinated drinks, this'll be my third wee since I took my first mouthful of it), then take the puppy out for her marathon Monday stroll. We're having a late lunch today, considering we didn't have breakfast until gone 10.30am 🕥 😆 which is fair enoughski.
Got back about half an hour ago but couldn't work out why I couldn't get to the log-in screen on my laptop until I spotted that it wasn't turned on... d'oheth! It's all sorted now and there were only 5 vials of blood taken this time but I barely felt the needle go in so I'm thinking I'm low in either vitamin D, B12 or both again. I'm just relieved that my crappy memory is being taken seriously and I might get a diagnosis and/or treatment for it, like I did with my OAB diagnosis.
I can, in theory, relax until January now.
On Saturday it was "about £300" that we were behind on the mortgage and now that' increased to "about £415 'cos it's just over a month". That's £115 it's gone up in 3 days. I'm gonna phone the mortgage bods after I get back from the blood test and pay £300 off, which'll leave £115 still owed, which'll just have to wait.
H.appy birthday to me,
Squashed tomatoes for tea,
There's a nutter, in the gutter
And yes, it is me.
I'm 43 as of 7 hours ago and as a gift, my flu jab arm is aching, I'm getting blood taken and I'm not sure if I should have taken my vitamin pills this morning or not. It's too late now, 'cos I just have, but we shall see.
Not got anything out of the ordinary planned for today, other than the blood test, it's just another day to get through as well as I can.
I've put on 50g in the last week though, which is better than losing it, but nowhere near as much as I was hoping unfortunately 😞
Still free of nasties though, and I'm not gonna take the puppy for her stroll until I get back 'cos she's snoring her head off again and I don't want my legs to give way from exhaustion while I'm in the hospital.
...the last time today, so she's currently snoring her head off on the sofa next to me, bless 'er.
I'm trying to get PSP to open so that I can put this week's walkies spreadsheet up on my homepage, but it doesn't want to play nicely so I'm gonna have to reboot again 🙄 BBS.
...take the empty plates through, finish my drink (decaff tea) then have a bath and shave my pits ready for tomorrow. What a way to spend your birthday - being drained of your blood 💉😆
Steve's almost finished his last sandwich, so I'm gonna publish this, drain my mug and jump in the bath now. BBL.
...breakfast eaten and put into the Fitbit app. Apparently, for lunch today we're having sandwiches for lunch (cheese, tomato and onion) and cake for tea "'cos I [Steve] can't be arsed to cook on Sunday's right now". That's fair enough and as long as he cooks for the rest of the week, then I think he's allowed one day off a week 👌
Gotta remember to have a bath at some point today so that I don't stink Marie's car and the hospital out when I go for my blood test tomorrow.
I've just taken me pills and refilled the organiser ready for next week. I'm gonna take my second 5-HTP of the season too... hold on while I do that now.
OK, it's been crunched up and swallowed, so hopefully my mood will start to improve in the next little while.
I'm not at all happy about this, but I'm gonna have to move the money I'd been saving up for H and use it to pay off the missed payments on the mortgage so that we still have somewhere to, you know, stay... it seems to concern me more than Steve though.
I'll go and move the money out of the account and close it now, while Steve's asleep, so that I'm ready to pay off the missed payments tomorrow morning, when I get back from the blood test. Not at all happy about this.
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ out of 5
Wowsers. The first 9% of the book have been amazingly powerful and I've been nodding throughout 'cos it's where I've been too many times in the past.
My initial thoughts? A definite must-read by everyone.
My hubby made me a mug of tea just after I started reading and I've only just taken my first sip. It's cold now. It's not often that a book achieves that - maybe only once in the last 9 months has it happened before. Get this book, just don't hope that you'll finish a hot drink before it gets cold ;-)
I'm up to chapter 4 and I'm still nodding throughout as I read... so many of the things that Josh felt as a youngster are what I went through at about the same age too. I'm heading to bed for an early night now but I'll hopefully remember to keep reading as soon as I come downstairs and have walked our dog tomorrow.
Back now and I've already read two chapters without moving lol Up to chapter 7 and I'm still nodding throughout every page. Josh is more intelligent than I ever have been so his struggles must have been worse due to his dyslexia too.
Oh yeah, I remember that darkness, that feeling of the only safe place being my bed, being asleep.
Chapter 9 and his mum has finally got it... she still doesn't understand the depths of suffering we go through though, seemingly.
I wish I had had a Simeon when I was thinking those exact thoughts. I'm sat here with huge great tears streaming out of my eyes.
Just reading the last 30-odd pages now and it's a relieved as opposed to happy ending so far. I definitely recommend this book in the highest possible way!
Wow. What an incredible book. A must-read for fellow suffers of depression, for friends and family of those with depression and professionals too. This is definitely a must-read book for everyone and still well-deserves those 5 stars that it started off with yesterday.
...carry on reading and reviewing the book. Not gonna move far from the sofa today 'cos my legs are really feeling it right now, even though I haven't done anything out of the ordinary so far today.
...pitch black outside so I won't take the puppy out yet, so gonna keep reading yesterday's memoir until it gets light and Steve wakes up, then I'll walk the puppy and have my breakfast, then carry on reading this incredible (so far) book.
...taken my last two pills of the day, so I'm hoping for an early night and a bright and early start to reading more of the book tomorrow.
Steve eventually phoned his mum and asked her to ask Marie about taking me to the hospital for the blood test. Gotta remember to cancel the November appointment when I get home though.
I'm thinking I'll finish this chapter then head straight to bed so that I can bore myself to sleep ready for a 5am 🕔 start tomorrow.
...reading and reviewing my next book. The first memoir I've ever read so I'm keeping a wide open mind and it's about the depths of depression, so it will hopefully be an interesting read.
The puppy really didn't fancy a stroll first thing and it took until 10.30am 🕥 to even get her harness on her. About three quarters of an hour later she was eventually ready for our first stroll of the day. Chilly and soggy 🌂 out there, but that was my fault for not wearing a coat... gonna need to invest in a pair of winter gloves if it gets too much colder though, and especially if it snows❗
Steve's just gone to make our lunch - egg mayonnaise sarnies for me with the spread, which will send my calorie consumption and the FitBit graph through the roof again.
I've just got a reminder to take my Calcium, so I'm gonna do that now. BBL.
Are you an amazon.co.uk customer❓
Are you tempted by Amazon Prime but find it a bit expensive❓
Want to see what the deal is with the annual Prime Days❓
Now's your chance❗
If you sign up for Prime now, you will get access to this year's Prime Day... hold on, just wanna make another blog post before I forget...
Where was I❓
Oh yeah, you get all the benefits of Prime, plus the exclusive access to Prime Day deals too. If you sign up now, you get a free 30 day trial as well as access to this year's Prime Day. I couldn't be without it any more.
...good news for a change.
I've got the doctor's blessing to write to the person I was asking about but because I've got the extra word in the middle of mine, mine is more serious and that if this person writes back to me suggesting things then I should talk to one of my doctors about it first before trying anything because she's not a medical bod and they are, which is fine by me... I just want a friend who understands what I've been going through for the last two decades is all.
He also said that if I get the blood taken at the hospital instead of waiting for the one at the beginning of November at the surgery then he will get the results quicker (obviously 😉) and he can prescribe longer term, higher strength pills and refer me to someone at the hospital for more tests and support.
I like this doctor❗ 👍
...yesterday's photo's courtesy of Steve are up on my homepage now, ready for your viewing pleasure.
Steve's currently making our brekkie (porridge, of course) and a hot drink for us, so I'm betting the doctor will call as soon as I've got a gob-full of it 🙄 I'm thinking that I'll take the puppy out for her first walk at lunch-time instead of this morning, so that I don't get stressed out about walking our dog when the doc calls.
He's just called to say that my porridge is ready, so I'll go and grab it to eat now. BBL.
...the dream I had was weird, even for me lol
I've already forgotten it, but C was a main character in it and Steve even put in an appearance right at the end. I've emailed C to tell him what I remembered and told Steve too, but I don't remember any of it now... d'oheth❗
I'm gonna take my morning pills then put yesterday's photo's on my site while I wait for the telephone appointment with the doc. I'll take our senior puppy out for her stroll when I've had the call then start reading and reviewing the memoir I bought yesterday evening. The virus scan has already finished and I'm thankfully still free of nasties.
...'cos I've got 12 photo's of the puppy that Steve's just taken to put up on my homepage, I've got a book to read and review and a fast appointment with a doctor about a magasine article I read and want to contact the author about, but I want to get my facts straight first.
I've just taken my last two pills of the day so I'm gonna head now, for hopefully an early start tomorrow morning.
Nite nite orl. Sea ewe 2morro.
I had my lunch (golden syrup sarnies), had my flu jab (Patrick took me down there in 20 minutes on the slowest setting), finished updating my courses to take page and now I can check my email for possibly the first time today, before we have our tea (burgers). Not planning on moving far from the sofa for the rest of today now, after I've got back from taking the puppy for her stroll.
Got my flu jab just after lunch and Steve's got his enabler coming at 10am so it's all go today. I wanna try and update the OpenLearn courses that I wanna do bit of my navigation page again today too.