Wednesday 30 June 2021

Opinions please!

I'm about to head to bed for the night, but I'm kinda semi-planning my afternoon tomorrow and I've got two choices - I can either read a book from NetGalley and review it or I can study.  Which do you reckon I should do please?  I can see the positives and negatives of both, but I dunno which one to go with!  Leave me a comment in reply to this blog post to let me know your thoughts, ideas and reasons?  Please?


Gonna finish off my pop then shut down I reckon, so I'll say night night to you all now and I'll see you at some point tomorrow.

Yesterday's prediction was...

...absolutely spot on.


Steve didn't sort out the bird feeders, but his bum wasn't well overnight and this morning, so I've let him off until tomorrow so that his body can properly recover, but he's promised to sort out the bird feeders and apparently we're having fried eggs and chips for lunch tomorrow, so I hope we both remember the pepper on my eggs otherwise my bum will have the opposite reaction from tomorrow for at least a few days lol


If the feeders haven't been sorted out by tomorrow evening, then I'm gonna have to risk doing it myself on Friday, which will send my anxiety through the roof and my mood through the floor. It only needs to be done once and then just refilling it as necessary but moving it is just a one time only job... which'll prolly be left up to me.  Again.


Well, that's two virus scans finished and...

...the weekly backups started before 8.40am, which ain't bad going at all.


I'm wondering though, if the daily and weekly scans are maybe the same 'cos they took about the same length of time to finish?  Gonna go and check now, while I remember... back in a bit.


Nope, all three types of scan are right, so maybe I just haven't been noticing how quickly the smart scan finished every day?  Yesterday's deep scan was done and dusted in about 4 hours, today's scans took about 1¼ hours each and I think the daily scan takes about an hour, so maybe I should watch it going through and time the daily scan more accurately tomorrow?


I've taken my morning pills and had my breakfast (5 biscuits and a banana lol) but Steve's bottom isn't feeling too well so he's tried to cancel his appointment in the early hours and he's gonna phone up his surgery to make sure it's been cancelled now, just in case... "eating a pound of meat for lunch yesterday prolly didn't help" to quote Steve lol

As soon as the back-ups have finished, I'll make a start on the news, then the surveys.  Not gonna study today 'cos I'm not in the right head-space atm.  


Today is also the 11th anniversary of when my father passed away and not even Steve or C remembered and asked what happened 11 years ago today, which ain't good going from either of them really.


I'm just gonna take today as it comes I reckon.

Just had the Neurologist's secretary on the phone wanting to know the details of the psychiatrist I saw, but I haven't been there for at least a decade... certainly not while we had the puppy dog but it was my GP that referred me, not them so I pointed her back to my GP and hope that they can get things sorted instead.

Tuesday 29 June 2021

Can't remember what I've done since this morning, but...

...we both had a huge lunch and the entire afternoon has passed in a total blur.  I've completed a few surveys but got screened out of most of them lol


I've just taken my last two pills of the day, so I'll attempt a few more surveys until I start feeling sleepy, then head to bed.

Our bird seed feeder thingy is totally covered in yet more green leaves from our neighbour at our back wall, just like before, so I've asked Steve to move it over onto the side wall, when he gets back from his medical appointment tomorrow, so that the birds can still eat and feed their little chicks and stuff.  Steve's agreed, but I bet it won't happen, so I'll be left to either do it myself or ask his sister to do it.  It only needs to be done once then refilled, but he never does things like that and I can't afford to bribe him with Toblerone or jelly beans until our electricity debt has been paid off.

I had some good news from the law centre this afternoon... things are headed in the right direction at long, long last.

A day late for the back-ups, but...

...the files are being backed up now and my daily virus scan has finished.  I've taken my morning pills, made a hot drink and breakfast for both of us, brushed my teeth and I'm monitoring my carer's breathing while he's asleep, so I've already cared for him for over an hour and a half this morning and he's done absolutely nothing as my carer, yet apparently he does "everything" for me and I do "nothing" for him 🤷

When the backups have finished, I'll update the spreadsheet and make a start on the news.  I worked out why the virus scans have been so rapid since the fresh install of Windows - I haven't got any desktop backgrounds other than the ones that come as standard, whereas I had about 150 before the blatting 🤣

Might even be able to study today 🤞

Monday 28 June 2021

Book Review: "Body: or, How Hope Confronts Her Shadow and Calls the Flutter Girl to Flight" by Sean Coons

⭐⭐⭐⭐ out of 5

Every book I read and review starts off with the full 5 stars and it's the same for this book too.


I'm on page 3 and the author has already used a character from another book, so I hope he's got written permission so that he doesn't get into hot water with such a huge company!


I like how the author has melded two fast food restaurant names into one so that it's obvious where the inspiration came from and it's obvious what sort of fast food restaurant it is, without getting into hot water with such huge brand names... if the author had done that on page three, then the five stars would have remained solid instead of wobbly.


The rest of the first chapter was better and I've read the reason for the title, but the title would have been better with just the word "Body" IMHO. Chapter 2 is starting with the full five stars still firmly in place.


Blimey! Already finished chapter 2 and I didn't even take a sip of my hot drink... this book has my full attention and I'm enjoying how the author is weaving in the backstory instead of it being one huge chunk too... seriously looking forward to chapter 3 now!


Chapter 3 was great too... I've sped through two chapters in about an hour and I'm looking forward to each chapter instead of like I was with the first one. I'm finding this really enjoyable so far and the star has stopped wobbling by now, thankfully.


This book is getting better and better - my monthly virus scan finished 27 minutes ago and I didn't have a clue!


I'm about half way through the book now and those 5 star are still well-deserved. There could have been more speech in place of descriptions, but other than that, this is a great book that I'm really enjoying!


OMG! Where have the last few hours disappeared to?! I'm really into this book and it's kept my attention all day... glad that we only had a make-do lunch 'cos of my monthly virus scan 'cos I wouldn't have wanted to stop reading if we'd had a proper lunch that meant putting my laptop on the floor!


There has been a liberal amount of big names being used throughout this book so the first star is coming off for using them potentially without permission from the trademark bods. I've let it go up to now, but I've taken a star off other books for the same reason, so that's what I'm doing with this one too... down to four stars now, unfortunately.


Wowsers! Chapter 18 was so incredibly powerful! I was so so wrong when I said about knowing what this book was about at the start of this review... so so wrong.


The end was sooooo unexpected, but a brilliant way to finish off the book. It's taken me the best part of 14 hours but I loved it and I reckon it's a must-read by everyone who wants to escape into fiction! WTG Sean Coons! 


Just a smidgen over 3 hours this time!

I've definitely run two deep, monthly scans this morning and they've definitely taken under 3.5 hours each, compared to the over 20 hours that it took last month, so I'm happy with that and it means that I can definitely have a solid lunch today.


The hours have just completely melted away with the book too... up to chapter 5 of it already!  Means I can check my emails to see if I've got anything from Morrisons about today's order with them yet.

I've put the Fitbit spreadsheet up on my homepage so I'm all set for reading for the rest of the day now and I can't wait!

I've taken my pills and I think the rubbish collectors have just reversed down our tiny street, so I'll go and bring the rubbish bag in before I carry on reading.

My carer has just said that we're still gonna be having zoop for lunch 'cos of the shopping, even though my virus scan has finished in plenty of time, so I'm gonna make myself a couple of slices of bread and spread to go with it, to try and increase my calories even more then.  I bet it'll be me making the soup and bringing it in too, so my carer won't be caring for me at all today, yet I've already cared for him for 5½ hours and it's not even 11.45am yet so it's gonna be another 10-12 hour day of caring for my carer.  Again.

Virus scan finished at 8.48am, so I've just started it again

It was the same with Wednesday's scan too, but to have the monthly scan done and dusted in under 3 hours is so shocking it's unbelievable.  I've started it going again, which will, in theory at least, be finished just before lunchtime, so I'll be able to have a solid lunch again.


I'm not pinning my hopes on it, but that's the same time it used to take to do my daily scan so I'm not pinning my hopes on it being finished so quickly yet.


I barely finished the start of the book and I'm only on page 3 of the novel so far, which is incredible.

Not gonna do the news today, 'cos...

...I've got a book to read and review and I wanna study too, so I'm giving everyone the day off lol  Gonna start reading now and I'll go into it with an open mind and starting it off with the full 5 stars that I hope it'll end with too.



I've just started the monthly virus scan at 6.10am...

...lets see what time it finishes!

Sunday 27 June 2021

Weekly totals of care

I'm gonna take my final pills of the week in about 50 minutes, then go straight to bed, so I'm doing the weekly maffs now so that I know it's done and dusted.


Steve's care of Amanda weekly total:  5 hours 30 minutes
Amanda's care of Steve weekly total:  66 hours 19 minutes


If I hadn't had the hospital appointment I reckon it would have been a pretty much guaranteed 70 hours.  Next week starts a fresh sheet though, so Steve's got a fresh opportunity to hit those necessary hours but I reckon it's more likely that I'll hit 70 instead of him reaching 35, but apparently I'm not his carer and I do nothing to support him, but he does everything for me and gets all kinds of support and credit for it.


It's pay day tomorrow as well as our groceries being delivered and the monthly virus scan, news to code and upload and hopefully get some studying done, so I've gotta be around and constantly available while my carer is asleep.


Time for my last pills of the week now though, then I'm gonna shut down and head to bed for an early night.  Gotta remember not to open up my emails and I've gotta weigh myself and log it in the FitBit app after I've made breakfast for both of us.


Nite nite orl... see you at some point tomorrow.

Cor lummy!

We've just had our lunch and I'm totally stuffed now... not bloated, just very full.


Other than tonights pills (which I obviously don't know about yet), I've taken every single tablet this week, and I don't think I've needed the 5-HTP either, so I've done really well this week.

Gonna spend this afternoon catching up on surveys and I'm hoping for an early night tonight 'cos according to my Fitbit app, I didn't get to sleep until 8.43pm last night, so it wasn't that early after all and apparently I woke up overnight too.  Gonna take my pills at 7pm tonight (same as usual) then shut down and head to bed straight away, instead of messing around on my phone for an hour after shutting down like I did last night.


I discovered a jar of pazza bake in the cupboard, so we're having that instead of the pasta/spag(h?)etti and meat-free balls.

We've already taken the rubbish and recycling out for another week, just gotta remember to put the waste food bag in the caddy then take that outside after we've had our lunch.

The virus scan was clear, I've taken my morning pills and re-worded a book review ad so hopefully they'll put the updated version up soon.  My carer has just started cooking our lunch, which'll prolly take about half an hour, but I bet that'll be it as far as support goes for the rest of the day then.

Gotta remember not to open my email programmes as soon as I sign in to my computer tomorrow, 'cos it's the monthly deep scan which used to take about 23 hours to complete, but Steve reckon's it'll be done in about 4-5 hours tomorrow 'cos of the fresh install of Windows a few days ago... we shall soon find out I suppose!

There wasn't any news on any of my three sites today and I finished reading and reviewing that book yesterday so I've just been ligging around online for the last few hours.  Got a book to read and review while the virus scan is chugging away tomorrow and it's already published so you'll be able to read the review here and on my homepage book reviews page 3 as soon as I've finished reading it.  Depending on how long it takes to read, I'm hoping to be able to study tomorrow too 🤞

It's very nearly 1pm so time to take my afternoon pill as soon as I've published this.  Talking of which, the reminder has just come up, so I'm gonna publish this then crunch it up so that I can swallow it.

Might be back later, but can't guarantee it.

Saturday 26 June 2021

Weekly totals of care so far...

My carer caring for me:  277 minutes (ie 4 hours, 37 minutes)

Me caring for my carer:  56 hours, 42 minutes


So, looking at those figures, I reckon I'll get maybe 5 hours of care out of my carer and I reckon it'll be over 65 hours that I've cared for my carer, which is only 5 hours off double the required weekly caring hours to be classed as a carer yet it's pretty much guaranteed that I won't even get 7 hours of care out of my carer, despite being at the hospital with me for about 2 hours on Thursday which is the most he's cared for me in a single day since I came out of hospital.  Apparently he's my carer but I'm not his though 😒

I'm gonna head off to beddy-byes now, but I'll be back again tomorrow.

Nitey nite nites orl.

Just finished reading the book, so... it's time for the admin bits of the review.


I'm gonna put it on my blog now, but won't post it yet, I'll schedule it for its day of release and the same on my site.  The review will go up on Net Galley as soon as it's approved, 'cos that's one of the terms that I agreed to when I first opened the account, but I won't publish it on here or my site until it's released officially.


It is definitly a 5 star book... hard going sometimes, yes, but it needed to be written and needs to be read by everyone.


So far today I've...

...completed the daily virus scan, taken my morning pills, made breakfast for my carer, checked my email, done one set of news and worked out that Steve's groceries (that I can't have 'cos it's meat or has an allergen) come to £22.10.  That's over half the total (including the £3.50 delivery charge) which is £44.05, yet it's my stuff or the joint stuff that comes off when he wants to add something else just for him.  The joint stuff comes to £12.95, my own (soya) stuff comes to £5.50 so the entire rest of the budget combined comes to less than stuff just for Steve, yet it's rarely anything of his that is taken off and on the rare occasions that it is something of his, he lays a massive guilt trip on me about it❗ Should be used to it now I guess 😞

Friday 25 June 2021

Other than the news, there haven't been any blog posts today because...

...I've been too engrossed by the book I started reading last night!


I've taken all my day-time pills, completed the virus scan, had two meals and four soya yoghurts, and the rest of the day has totally slipped past me, thanks to this book!


We're both still wiped out after yesterday morning, Steve's spent most of the day asleep and I can't see me having a late night either.  Gonna finish this chapter of the book, take my night-time pills and head straight to bed I reckon.  Doubt I'll post again before the morning, so I'll say nite nite to you all now... see you at some point tomorrow.


News on 25th June 2021

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25th June 2021

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Jennifer Aniston spills details about her and ex Brad Pitt’s 'fun' friendship

Why are we losing friends? The pandemic isn't fully at fault

Celibate Intimacy Is a Commitment Worth Preserving

Rosie O'Donnell dishes on 25-year friendship with Tom Cruise: 'He never has forgotten my birthday'

Why it's OK to let friendships fade out

Jennifer Aniston just shared new details about her and Brad Pitt’s friendship


Friendships Are Important


Thursday 24 June 2021

Just got back from the hospital and...

The letters from my two friends, Steve and me definitely helped and he wants me to go for another scan, but because my "vitamin deficiency was so significant" (direct quote) when I was rushed in, the damage is permanent with no hope of it ever improving.  He wants me to have another scan just to get an up to date look at the damage but he reckon's I've hit the plateau now and there won't be any more improvements in my memory, my mobility or anything else, so I've just got to make the best of a bad situation now.

He was the same Neuro that I was under while I was in hospital and while he didn't remember my name, he had a quick glance at my notes before I was called in and he remembered it all again - from 18 years ago lol

My carer spent 2 hours and 5 minutes supporting me while I was at the hospital, which is exactly 5 minutes longer than the rest of the week combined, so we're currently at 4 hours and 5 minutes of care by my carer so far this week, which I at least double in caring for him in a single day, but apparently he "does everything for her" and I do buggar all to support him.  🤷

Basically I can't expect to get any better than this for the rest of my life now 😞


As predicted my carer doesn't fancy cooking, so our lunch is gonna be biscuits and possibly bread and butter if my legs feel stable enough to stand for that long.


Just had a reminder to take my afternoon pill, so I'd best do that now before I forget.

Time to crack on with the news that I started this morning now, before I forget.



News on 24th June 2021

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24th June 2021

A therapist's guide to rekindling a broken friendship

10 Ways to Rekindle a Friendship After Not Being Able to See Them


Getting incredibly nervous now

My appointment is at 11am 🕚 and I'm hoping Marie will pick us up at like 10.30am 🕥 so that she's got plenty of time to find a parking spot and me an' 'im have got plenty of time to get to the department and recover before we're called in.


I've had 2 bananas 🍌 for breakfast and decided against the yoghurts after all.  I can almost guarantee that my carer won't want to cook lunch, so I'll have chocolate milkshake and yoghurts for my lunch and maybe a couple of slices of bread and butter if I'm stable enough on my feet to do it by the time we get home.

My carer is currently catching up on his sleep 💤.  Again.  So I'm having to monitor his breathing... again.  Over 100 minutes of care already this morning and he's done literally nothing for me, yet apparently he "does everything for her" and I do "bugger all" to support him.  Yesterday I cared for my carer for 9 hours and 25 minutes and he cared for me for 35 minutes by cooking lunch for both of us for 34 minutes and pouring me a glass of pop for 1 minute - that's literally all he did as my carer yesterday.  I'm gonna give him credit as my carer from the time his mum calls 📞 to say Marie is on her way all the way to when I log back into my machine 💻 again so that he'll get about an hour of care for today to his credit.

The virus scan was clear again 👍 but I had to reboot 'cos my internet connection died, so I'm guessing I opened up my programmes too quickly this morning and I need to be more patient about how quickly I open them in future, so that I don't have to reboot each time... annoying but necessary I guess 🤷


I've taken my morning pills 💊 and they kicked in pretty quickly again, thankfully.

Gonna make a start on the news for my writing site now, to give me something to concentrate on, rather than getting more and more anxious.

Wednesday 23 June 2021

Just waiting for Steve to come out of the bathroom so that...

...I can go for a wee then head to bed.  I'm thinking maybe I should use the time wisely and find another carrier bag to take as a back-up to go on the outside of the current carrier bag.  It would put my mind at rest, but would two bags be a bit over-compensating maybe?


I'm shutting down for the night now.  Will prolly be back at some point before the appointment tomorrow, but I can't guarantee it, sorry... keep checking back for updates though and I'll try and remember to post as soon as I can when I get home.


Please keep yer fingers crossed 🤞 for me tomorrow morning!

I'll see you when I see you.  Nite nite for now though.

Out of 3 sites and a potential of 12 different sections...

...there was just one single piece of news today!  I suppose I should be grateful that there was anything worthy at all but I guess it's just a reeeaaalllyyy slllooowww day news wise.


I doubt there will be any news tomorrow, but it all depends on what time I get back from the hospital.  The appointment is at 11am so I'm hoping to be home before lunchtime, but I dunno how I'll be feeling but I'll prolly be famished after not having much breakfast (I'm pondering on a couple of yoghurts instead of toast) so my belly is gonna be complaining by the time we get home lol

Please keep checking back tomorrow... might jump on for a few hour before we go to the appointment so that I don't go too nutty with boredom in the hours between waking up and leaving the house lol  Have to admit that I'm starting to get a touch nervous, but my GP obviously agrees that there's something weird going on in my noggin' otherwise he wouldn't have referred me back in February!

I reckon I'm gonna take all my supplements with me as well as my most recent prescription request form that came first thing, just in case that helps him/her to get a clearer picture along with the MRI I had at the end of last year.  Gonna put them all in the bag with the letters so that I don't forget to take them with me in the morning.

That's that done, and it's a good job I thought of it 'cos I re-read the appointment letter and it said to bring a list of all my medication with me, so Gaia and the Green Man were obviously trying to draw my attention to it without making it obvious that I needed to read the letter again lol

My right ear has just started burning, so someone has just started talking about me lol

Gonna go and make a hot drink for both now... back in a bit.

Two weekly virus scans and back-ups sorted in...

...about 4 hours which is just over half the time it usually takes just to do one virus scan and backups, which is impressive going and means I can check my email and sort out the news now, which I didn't even start until getting on for 3 or 4pm 7 days ago!


Steve's still at his medical appointment and I was wrong about him not remembering to ask about the coffee... he asked when his mum phoned to let him know that Marie was on her way to pick him up.


Gonna put my FitBit on to finish charging up in preparation for tomorrow then do my laps when Steve finally gets home so that I can prepare myself as much as possible for my first trip with my new stick... it's the slope that makes me most anxious, but as long as I just use the back feet and I patiently wait until Steve's home in case I fall and can't get up again then it's just my confidence that I need to work on today.

Need to remember to crack on with the editing after lunch too, otherwise I'll wrongly assume that it's the edited version that I haven't re-named, instead of the first draft.


Time to crack on with the news now... BBL.


The second virus scan of the morning has finished again already and the backups are speeding through too, so maybe the news will be done before lunchtime after all?

I'm definitely gonna be checking through each of the files just to make sure that all the files really are there after all before I put the external hard drive away for another week, but I'm seriously impressed with the speed of the virus scan 'cos two finished in the time it took to do 10% of a single one last week!

My last prescription for a month has just been delivered too, so maybe my Deities are telling me today will be a good day?

It's not even 8am yet, but I've already...

  • set the weekly virus scan going
  • taken my morning pills
  • had a bath
  • brushed my teeth


The weekly virus scan finished in under 3 hours, so I got suspicious and I've just set it going again, just to make sure that it really did finish completely.  I'm gonna go and make breakfast for my carer now, then do the backups and hopefully be finished before lunchtime today so I might even be able to have a solid lunch instead of my usual Wednesday instant soup!


Gonna go out and do a few laps before Steve goes for his medical appointment, then finish charging up my FitBit the final 10% while he's gone.  He'll hopefully remember to ask either his mum or Marie for the decaf coffee this morning, after forgetting 3 times yesterday 🙄


I've just checked and the virus scan really is the weekly scan and it really is at 50% already, so maybe it really did finish in under 3 hours the first time this morning?


Gonna do the three sets of news after I've done the backups, so it'll prolly be this afternoon before it appear on here and my sites.

Time to go and do my carers breakfast now.  TTYAL

Tuesday 22 June 2021

Things are back to normal now and...

...I've worked out that I need to not think about using my new quad cane on slopes and I'll be fine.  Still only use the back two leg/feet things but just put my cane on the slope and take the step as soon as it stops moving downwards.  No looking, no assuming, no adjusting, no worrying - just plonk the quad cane down and instantly take the step onto the slope then bring my other leg through and step onto the ground et voila.


Just gotta remember that for my practise sessions tomorrow and while I'm at the hospital on Thursday now lol


I'm gonna try and remember to give my FitBit a touch of extra juice tomorrow so that I don't get anxious about it on Thursday, as well as everything else.  Might do that while the deeper virus scan is chugging away, restricting what I can do while it's happening.  It'll be interesting to see how long the virus scan and back-ups take tomorrow!  


Do I risk studying or not tomorrow?  I want to try again, get back into the mindset of it, but will I be able to concentrate on what I'm being taught and pass the end of course assessment or will my anxiety be so high that I have to spend all day on just the first module?  Maybe I should read summat on my Kindle?  See if I've still got a book on there that I haven't read?  Or should I zone out and write a manuscript instead?  Or get on with the editing?  So many options lol  I'll see how I feel when I wake up and finished my first set of laps... gotta remember not to open my email programmes until the virus scan and back-ups are finished - that, as much as anything else, will decide if I'm having a good day or bad day.

Just checked, and there's currently one manuscript that hasn't been through the first round of edits yet, so maybe I should do that?  Totally zone out and get into the head of a totally fictional character?


I've taken my last two pills of the day, so I'm gonna start closing my programmes down and head to bed for an almost early night.


Be back again tomorrow, hopefully with news and more confidence in my legs and mobility aid lol

Had a stressful morning, then it got worse, but hopefully...

...this afternoon will be considerably better.

I've taken all my morning and afternoon pills, took my first two backups of the new system, installed two updates onto my computer then discovered a huuuge techy problem with one of my sites that I've asked Tech Support to sort out for me ASAF but I bet they will spend this afternoon instead, so there won't do it then either.

This morning Steve got into a bit of a flap after getting a text reminder about his medical appointment tomorrow, then checked about if we'd have transport to the hospital on Thursday, but his mum didn't have it on her calendar and Marie usually goes into the office on a Thursday so I would have had to find £20 for a taxi there and back.  Fortunately his mum called back a few minutes later to say that Marie was happy to do it for us so that was a huuuge relief and I can relax a touch more about the appointment now.

I was reading Melanie's email on my phone while the updates were installing, when the entire conversation disappeared into thin air!  Thankfully it was still on my computer, so I'm gonna reply to that now, so that I don't tempt fate.


I spent 29 minutes practising on the slope into the back yard with my new quad cane... there were several significant wobbles, but I didn't go face-first into the concrete again, thankfully.  Gonna let my lunch go down for a while then do another few laps this afternoon to try and increase my confidence more and hopefully remember to just use the back two feet to support me as I decend, instead of all four like I did with my previous cane.

I'll be back later, but there won't be any news today after the morning I've had!

Monday 21 June 2021

Just installed the printer cartridge and...

...we now have black ink to use for the first time this year❗❗  😌

We're having egg and chips for a late lunch/early tea and apparently I'm doing it 'cos my carer can't be arsed again.  I've cared for my carer for well over 5 hours already today but he's yet to hit an hour of care for me, but apparently he's my carer and I do bugger all to care for him 🤷

News for 21st June 2021

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21st June 2021


Friendships. Do you know when to hold them and when to fold them?

Being More Social for Just 2 Weeks Made Me Happier. Here’s Why


Today is gonna be a good day

I've managed to get through to my GP surgery about the meds and my Amazon delivery has just been delivered, so that's it now until the groceries are delivered this afternoon.  The email said that the mini hash browns were "unavailable" so have been replaced with chips, so there's 3 packets already in the big freezer, a 4th packet coming today and there's even another smaller amount of already opened chips in the fridge-freezer, so it'll be chips, chips and more chips this week 🙄😄


My carer has just asked me to fetch the shopping bags in case the groceries come early again, so I'll take my new quad cane for it's debut trip around the house to go and grab them, then I'll make a start on the second set of news for almost a week.

Just managed to get through to my GP surgery and...

...the receptionist I spoke to was as confuzzled as I was about why one of my pills was 28 days and the other was 56, so she's "tasked the doctor to work out what's going on" so I hope they don't call on Thursday 'cos I completely forgot to say about my hospital appointment that morning - oops! 

Just waiting for my Amazon packages and the groceries now, so I'll make a start on the three sets of news for the first time in getting on for a week now.


Things are, officially, back to normal again so I can re-start doing the news again!


I've taken my morning pills, weighed myself and added the Fitbit spreadsheet to my homepage, so now I need to call up about increasing the amount of one of my prescriptions so that I get both doses at the same time, rather than having to order one each month and the other every 2 months, so I'd best do that now, before I forget.


I need to remember that if the pharmacist needs to talk to me, any day except Thursday this week is fine and dandy, but I've got a hospital appointment on Thursday morning - nearly forgot about that!


I put the hot water on last night so hopefully I'll be able to have a hot bath rather than another tepid one, assuming Steve doesn't use up all the hot water before then of course!


The first daily scan was finished in less than 5 minutes this morning, so I'm hoping I'll be able to have a solid lunch on Wednesday after the weekly virus scan.


Gonna call my doc now.  BBS.

Sunday 20 June 2021

Aaaand relax!

That was pleasantly easy!  


In under half an hour I've got everything back on my hard drive, all my manuscripts safe and sound (and I've discovered more editing that needs to be done in that folder) and all sorts of other stuff, including my notes from the New Skills Academy that I thought I'd lost forever.  It'll be good to do the backup on Wednesday and it'll be interesting to see how long it takes the virus scan to go through all my files since the reinstall.


That's me finished on the computer for the day now, so I'm off to bed and I'll see you all at some point tomorrow, for hopefully a considerably less stressful day.


Nite nite orl.


Just sorted the spreadsheet, so now...

...I can finish off my glass of water then head off to bed.  Wanna check I've got all my manuscripts while I remember first though.  I didn't write anything last week so I haven't lost anything from them, as long as they are all there and not corupted 😉 Gonna check the files that are already on my laptop first though, so that I don't get into a tizzy about it just before I head to bed.  BBS.

What a waste of the day that was!

The software that I found this morning could have apparently, potentially, deleted important Windows files, so I immediately stopped it and uninstalled it and I'm just gonna have to be a week behind on the care spreadsheet is all, and start with the previous weeks spreadsheet and put some kind of note that this week wasn't recorded for technical reasons and hope that the one I've got saved isn't corrupted too!  If it is, I'll start from scratch with a totally new spreadsheet next week.


I've just taken my pills, so I'm gonna attempt to put the previous spreadsheet onto my machine from the backups from the week before and just keep my fingers crossed.




You know what?


I really am going to start from scratch again and remember not to use OneDrive this time.  It's only one document that I've lost though, so that ain't bad going at all.


Spent the morning...

...trying to restore the spreadsheet of care I'd been using to record the care I did for my carer.  I've potentially found a way to do it using a piece of software I found online but I've had to re-start it at least 3 times but hopefully it'll be worth it if/when I finally recover the file.

I didn't make any breakfast this morning 'cos I was getting stressed out and stuff, but I managed to sort out my website and re-jig Word with a default font that I like and pinned a few things that I frequently use.  Couldn't find the PB templates to pin, but that's OK temporarily.  I'm finally getting things how I want them to be again.

We had "Pig Out rolls" by Naughty Vegan for lunch and we've got 3 bags of chips in the freezer, so we'll be having those this week as well lol.

I finally bit the bullet and got the black printer cartridge and another quad cane which is due "by 10pm tomorrow" according to Amazon, so I hope they don't arrive at the same time as our groceries 🙄🤣

I've taken all my morning and afternoon pills and already drunk the best part of 2 litres today.  Just for a change I've had my music on out loud all day and Steve's had to use his earphones... it'll have to be the same tomorrow too, 'cos Steve's legs'll be up and he'll be asleep so I'll need to be able to keep my ears primed for the door ready for my two Amazon deliveries and our groceries.

I had another book review request overnight, so I've decided to come up with a template message to send to all those who want me to review for free from now on... I've got a set of terms that everyone needs to agree to before I review their book that nobody has even bothered reading so far and thanks to my pooey memory I've kept forgetting to point them to it and doing it for free, then they get stroppy when I don't take the review down 'cos they don't like it (one of the terms that is covered).

Have to admit that I'm getting nervous about the hospital appointment on Thursday, but if it means I get tested and potentially treated, then that's no bad thing right❓

Saturday 19 June 2021

Well, I didn't think it was possible, but...

...the folder that Steve promised would have a copy of everything in has got bugger all other than the system files, so I'm currently putting everything back onto my machine from last week and this is the exact reason I do weekly back-ups.  


Steve swore blind that One Drive would have a copy of everything, but it didn't.  He also guaranteed that the .old file would have a copy of everything just in case I needed it, but in fact there's nothing usable there at all, so I'm a week behind on everything now, but that's better than I would have had if I hadn't taken weekly backups after the weekly virus scan. Not a happy bunny now and the tiny sliver of trust I had left in Steve has slithered off now and I no longer trust a word he says.  Not the way a marriage should be, but never mind 'eh?

Spent the day trying to...

...copy files from OneDrive that weren't there, so after I've got my website stuff copied back over from my backups, I'm gonna be hoping beyond hope that I can rescue the rest of it from the previous version that I decided to save while I re-installed everything... my Deities were seriously looking out for me when they told me to do that otherwise I'd be up s**t creek without a paddle.  I don't trust my husband any more though.  At all.  He says one thing then changes his mind when it's too late and I've had enough of it now, I really have.

Assuming everything works from the previous version then hopefully things can start getting back to normal again.

I managed to get things sorted without too many hitches... now my machine is installing all the updates and it's been switched on for 26 hours so far.  

Managed to get my emails working and my antivirus programme re-sorted, so now it's time to sit around doing nothing until the backups have finished.  Gotta remember to sort out the spreadsheets and reinstall the FTP details for my sites, but I'm not gonna do that until all the updates have installed and my computer has recovered lol

I've taken my morning pills, made a hot drink and breakfast for both of us, so now it's time to close down the browser and just sit here waiting for things to finally get sorted again.

I've potentially found the solution to the printer problems, so I wanna give those a go too.  Might print off the webpage now and work through the steps so that I can actually do something productive while the updates are lumbering through... I'm just glad that this didn't happen during January or November especially lol

Thursday 17 June 2021

Gonna be a bit hit and miss for the next few days, 'cos...

I'm having to blat my computer and reinstall Windows, starting tomorrow.  Hopefully I'll be back before the end of the day but I can't guarantee it.  Keep checking back and as soon as things are working again, I'll post here to let you all know... not sure how long it'll take in reality.


It's currently downloading then installing the most recent update which'll hopefully fix whatever broke, but just in case, I'll see you when I see you!

Tuesday 15 June 2021

Book has been finished and reviewed...

...daily total of care added to the spreadsheet, mobile phone 📱 fully charged, spreadsheet completed, so now it's time for me to head to beddy-byes.

Nite nite orl.

Cache's cleared ready for tomorrow's virus scan

That's all the tiny files in both cache's cleared ready for tomorrow... hope I don't open my email programmes before the virus scan has finished❗


In the final 10% of the book now so it's pretty much guaranteed that it'll be finished and review uploaded before bedtime tonight, then I can make a start on my next one, as well as doing hopefully all three sets of news tomorrow too.  Fancy reading a grown up book next though lol

The two sets of ferrules arrived but they are both waaay too big for my quad cane, so I've put a few elastic bands around the foot of it until I can afford to get a whole new quad cane.  I should be getting an Amazon voucher as payment for a survey, so I'll get it with that and seriously hope that it arrives before my Neurology appointment.  I've put the ferrules on Freegle now so that it's not the best part of £20 going to landfill.  I've currently got four things advertised on there and I've only ever received one thing from there in the getting on for 20 years I've been doing it, so that's pretty good going I reckon.

Gonna finish reading the book now.  Dunno if I'll post again before I hit the hay, so just in case I don't I'll say goodnight to you all now and I'll see you bright and early in the morning.

Been reading all morning and...

...I'm almost half way through the book now, so it'll hopefully be finished and reviewed before bedtime tonight.


My Amazon order still isn't out for delivery yet so I reckon it'll be close to 10pm before it gets here.


Steve's put the potatoes in the oven and I've found a second can of baked beans, so we're both having jacket tatties with cheese and beans now.


I've got another book to read and review tomorrow while the deeper virus scan is chugging along, so that'll keep me out of trouble while I can't check my emails.


The potatoes are gonna take an hour and a bit to cook and because they are pretty small compared to the more recent ones, Steve's having 2½ tatties and I'm having 1½ tatties each.


Gonna keep on reading until 🕜 1.30pm-ish now.

Feeling pretty grotty thanks to my hayfever, but...

...I've taken my morning pills, attached the tomato plants to the stick things, completed the virus scan and made breakfast for my carer, so now I can carry on reading the book.


I've decided against doing any news today, I just need a day off and to be selfish for a while is all.


The ferrules are due today "by 10pm" apparently, and I've got two sizes so that I can be sure one of them is the right size, then I'll hopefully get help to put them on and I'll be good to go again.

We're having jacket tatties, cheese and beans for me and Steve's potentially gonna have chicken curry with his.  I've asked him to ask his mum to get another tub of spread and more baked beans, but I bet he'll forget... again!

Gonna get on with the reading now.  BBL.

Monday 14 June 2021

Busy morning!

After 2 restarts, my laptop is now (mostly) behaving itself, the virus scan was clear again, I've taken all my day-time pills, had the medical appointment an hour earlier than I was expecting, ordered the rubber feet/ferrule things for my quad cane and the groceries have just been delivered.  


I'm wiped out now.


I've lost 1.65kg since Thursday, so I'm not gonna do any laps until I've put the weight back on again... when I've got the ferrule things in my hands and put onto my cane I'll do a few laps then, just to get ready for going to the hospital appointment but I'm staying sat on the sofa for the rest of this week apart from that.


There were a couple of substitutions with the shopping so it was 4p more expensive, but that's OK... it's been considerably worse in the past, after all  😉  The stuff just for Steve alone (so meaty stuff) came to £19.45, my stuff came to £4.15 and the joint stuff came to £16.04 so yet again Steve spent the majority of the weekly budget on himself and well over quadruple the amount that was just for me, yet I had to take my stuff off to make room in the budget for stuff for Steve and he whines and makes me feel guilty about taking any of his stuff at all!

I should be used to it by now I s'pose <shrug>

I'm also 41 minutes away from caring for my carer for 10 hours today, but my carer has only supported me for 16 minutes so I reckon it'll be a 15 hour day for me and I'll get under 1 hour this week from my carer.  I should be used to that too but at least there's documented proof of who does what for whom now.

D has decided to definitely go with the paid site so that'll be even more work for me to do 'cos it'll have to be hand-coded rather than copied and pasted like it is on her free site, so what currently takes 15 minutes will take an hour or more when she's got her domain and hosting sorted.

After yesterday's update was installed...

...I had to do a "hard/savage reboot" this morning to get my machine to start responding then it was veeerrrrryyyy sllllooowwww to open up all my programmes which got me an hour behind schedule before I even started.

I took my morning pills while it was re-starting and started the virus scan as soon as I was able to log in, but the FitBit app is playing up now, so I'm gonna have to reboot yet again, which'll put me even further behind.


I remembered to weigh myself and I've lost weight since last time I weighed myself, so I'm gonna have to have loads of toast to try and increase it again.  I made toast for my carer this morning and he said after I'd brought it in that he didn't feel up to cooking, so we'll be having toast for lunch too 😠  Apparently he makes all our meals, and he's not gonna cook at all today so that's already total bollox this week and I'll be doing both of his meals by the time I head to bed.

The MH nurse is due to call this morning, so hopefully it'll be sorted by the time she calls 🤞.  Gonna reboot again now... BBL.

Sunday 13 June 2021

Tomorrow's grocery shop

I risked putting things that I wanted onto tomorrow's grocery order and I made a prediction to see what would happen.  That prediction was that the things that I'd put on that were for suitable for me would be taken off and Steve would replace them with things that were suitable only for him.

That prediction has come true.

I put on a couple of vegetable quiches for a change, they have come off and been replaced with a "medium pork pie" and two pizza's.  I put on a box of four baking potatoes which have been replaced with a cheaper pack of baking potatoes and 4 scotch eggs.  I could have everything that has been taken off, but now I can only have 2 of the 5 things that are on there 'cos the rest is meat.

My stuff comes to £5.35, Steve stuff comes to £18.55 which leaves the joint stuff at £15.52 so stuff for Steve alone is over £3 more expensive than the joint stuff and over triple my stuff, yet it's my stuff that comes off when Steve wants something else 😡

That's all my day-time pills taken and...

...I even remembered to fill up the pill organiser just now too, unlike last week lol


We're having an omelette (and the chef is having chips with his omelette) for lunch, so that we can use up the eggs instead of having to bin them, with the last two weeks' worth.  I'm gonna put my laptop on the floor and make my way out to be ready to get it while it's still hot, 'cos it only takes a few minutes to cook doesn't it❓❓

So far this morning, I've...

  • Made breakfast for my carer
  • Taken my morning pills
  • Filled a food waste bag with 24 old eggs
  • Filled a second food waste bag with sprouting potatoes
  • Emptied 3 bins and put the bags into the main bin bag
  • Took my carers empty pop bottles through to the kitchen

 What has my carer done?  He's opened up 3 rubbish bags and replaced the bag in his bin... nothing else.  Hasn't even stood up so far today.

I'm gonna do my laps in 8 minutes time then take the rubbish and recycling out, despite that being another thing that my carer claims credit for doing.

After I've done that, I predict that my carer will fall asleep again, so I'll have to monitor his breathing... but apparently I do buggar all to support him.

I've got a telephone appointment with an MH nurse tomorrow and I've gotta ask for another week's worth of the 5mg... I've asked my carer to remind me, but I bet he won't, same as usual.  He did finally get the Neuro letter written last night though, but he said he hasn't sent the three things to M yet, so I bet he forgets about that too.

I've asked him to ask for another couple of tubs of spread, ready for Wednesday, but I bet he'll forget to ask about that too.

I worked out overnight that I should have £180 a month ready for the electricity bill going up again, strange that I've only got £52 atm because I had to bail my carer out with £113 yet again - I get less in benefit money than he does, yet I pay for the groceries every week and the electric every month, yet he gets credit for that too.

The virus scan has finished and discovered a problem, which I've set it resolving now, but other than that there haven't been any nasties found, thankfully.


Time to reply to D's emails before I explode again I suppose.

Saturday 12 June 2021

I've had it with this afternoon and evening, I really have!

My day was going really well until lunchtime then it all went downhill rapidly.


The soup was fine, I made Steve a hot drink, did my laps then Steve started searching for something, so on one of the laps I asked what he was looking for and he told me it was the small, thin, silver HDMI remote that he couldn't find.  I don't have a clue what HDMI is, but apparently without it, the telly would be permanently stuck on the Amazon Prime box.


I asked Steve to get the torch on his phone ready so that there was more light to look for the dratted thing on the floor.


I finished my laps with Steve getting more and more flustered, then got down on my knees to look for it under his chair.


Nothing there.

I could feel my blood pressure increasing rapidly, my legs were weak, my knees were killing me, I was shaking like a leaf but Steve was just sat in his chair watching something on his laptop.

I discovered four empty cola bottles and two toilet rolls, along with two still-boxed and prescribed cream for his legs, but still no bloody remote.

I struggled to my feet and asked Steve if he was absolutely sure the remote hadn't slid into the gap and he repeated that he'd already looked and was absolutely positive that it wasn't there.

I struggled to pull the seat out and had a look, but it wasn't there, so I slid my hand into the gap and my fingers found it within seconds.

"Oh!" says Steve, "I guess it took thin fingers to find it instead of my sausage fingers then!"  Nothing even approaching gratitude, just being selfish as normal.

I wobbled over to the sofa and sat down, logged back into my laptop and there was a message from D which I stupidly opened and spotted that the attachment was a blog post for June, so immediately knew what the message would say, without her even asking for it.

I read her email, put her blog post up without reading it 'cos at 8 A4 pages at 12 point font, it was waaaay too long for me to be bothered with considering how angry I already was, so I just copied and pasted it then sent her a paragraph reply explaining that it was up but I hadn't read it.

I just have.

I wish I hadn't.

As predicted, she's told her visitors that there are at least 4 major changes coming and there are 3 new pages she wants to add as well blaming me for her fucking subdomain choice when it was her choice right from the start.  


Apparently a domain is in the fucking pipeline too and I can pretty much guarantee that she will expect me to sort out that as well as paying for it and claiming total credit for that too.

Well she can fuck right off as far as I'm concerned.

From now on all I'll do is copy and paste straight from her Word documents and she'll have to sort out the payment for her own domain name and hosting and navigation and every fucking thing else.

I'm a patient, supportive, kind, caring friend and wife but even I have my limits and both Steve and D have pushed me too far now.  I want everything in writing and they can pay their own fucking bills.

I've had it.  I really have.

I just knew it!

My carer has just woken up and said (and this is a direct quote from him):  "D'you mind if we just have soup and biscuits for lunch 'cos I really can't be arsed to cook"


So I replied:  "When are we gonna have the eggs then?"


He replied:  "Tomorrow" then went to the bathroom.  Same as most days.  Should be used to it now, but he frequently tells anyone who will listen that he "cooks every meal for Amanda" which is absolute bollox and in actual fact he only usually cooks three times a week!


I was wrong yesterday, sorry about that

I said I'd prolly avoid caffeine this weekend in a blog post yesterday, right❓  Well Steve decided that he fancied caffeine so I indulged too and regretted it within 5 minutes of my first mouthfull, 'cos I've been for 5 wee's in about 2 hours❗❗ 

I've made a hot drink for us both, then my carer's breakfast (toast), and I've just done my morning laps.  Steve said that he hadn't missed the caffeine this week and said not to get another jar when the current one is finished, which is fine by me❗

The virus scan was clear, my morning pills went down OK, I've charged my Fitbit up and I reckon I'll just do my writing site's news today, cos it's already gone 🕦 11.30am❗  We'll be having something eggy 🥚 for lunch so that we don't forget to use 'em this week, but it's still two dozen that have been wasted over the last 3 weeks, which ain't good at all.

Time to get on with the news after I've been for yet another wee 🙄

Friday 11 June 2021

So far so good this morning...

...I've just finished the focus group thing and D's letter for the Neurologist has just come through the door, so I just need to print of C's letter then wait for Steve's and I'm all sorted.


I think Steve's gone out to put our lunch on and I realised that I haven't had any caffeine so far this week and I genuinely haven't missed it... not sure I even want to at the weekend either, but we shall see how I feel each morning before I decide for certain.


Today is gonna be a good day... I've already decided.  Anything negative that happens will just slide off like water off a duck's back.


If you're reading this, D, I can feel my twins but haven't seen the fox or deer anywhere yet, not even yesterday when I spent over 4 hours with the in-laws lol

I've done my morning laps and I think I can smell our lunch cooking, so I'll eat that then consider doing my afternoon laps in a few hours... it was weird not going outside this morning, like I have been daily for a little while now, I even opened the back door before I remembered about the ferrule thingies on my quad cane being out of action!

I've decided that...

...I'm still gonna do my laps, but only of the downstairs of the house and just not risk our back yard until the legs on my quad cane are re-ferruled again.  I don't use my quad cane in the house, so I haven't really got an excuse have I❓❗ 😜


I've made a drink for Steve, taken my morning pills, set the daily virus scan going and had my breakfast (a banana).  Gotta remember that I've got that focus group thing at 11am and we're apparently having "no beef pasties", chips and peas for lunch... I'll belive it when it's in the oven, getting cooked.


The virus scan has finished and I'm still free of nasties, so I'm gonna finish replying to an email then go and grab a bottle of pop to keep me going today and make sure I drink the two litres a day that I'm aiming for.

Thursday 10 June 2021

So far this year...

...Steve's seen his family for getting on for six times the amount of time I've seen my mum since the start of 2010.


I saw her for three lots of 2 hours when my father (RIP) brought her over, a huge 6 hours for my father's funeral then another 4 hours at the end of Summer 2010, which adds up to 16 hours in a year, if my maths is right, yeah?  Steve easily sees his family for 16 hours every MONTH - either for being transport to his medical appointments (4 lots of 2 hours a month), his sister coming over twice a week to drop off the shopping that we've needed since the groceries were delivered on the Monday (getting on for an hour a month), hair cuts (like today, is another 4 hours) and just general socialising with them whenever they all fancy it (another 4 hours a month).  


Then there's Christmas every year too... we haven't spent a single Christmas away from his family since we've been together (so currently, as of 2020, that's 22 years) and not even a single one with my mum.  I missed the 2002 Christmas when I was alone and unconscious, 'cos Steve's family are obviously more important to him than his severely ill wife who had to be blue-lighted into hospital by the time he got home that night.

But apparently I'm selfish for wanting to go over and see my mum before she dies 😞😡😢

Just under 4.5 hours later and...

...we've just got back from having our hairs cut.  


One of the feet on my quad cane came off and the same one is currently unavailable 😟 which is frustrating, but it's done me well since August 2013 and it wasn't that expensive, so that's impressive going.  I'm doing an online focus group/survey thing tomorrow morning and getting a £45 Amazon voucher as a reward, so that's what it's gonna be used on... I'll be able to splash out on a more expensive quad cane that won't have cost me a penny.  As long as the feet stay on during my hospital visit then I won't be needing to use it outside the house and I'll be able to retire it to Freegle... there's nothing wrong with it, other than needing new feet, so if someone else invests in those then it can still definitely continue to be used.  I just hope that the new one serves me as well as the current one has and lasts longer than it predecessor (which lasted less than 18 months and wasn't used anywhere near as much as this one has been).

I'm not gonna risk doing my laps until I've got the new one in my hands, just in case I push it too far and it breaks before the hospital appointment.

I was only half an hour late with my afternoon pill, and that's been taken now, so that's it until this evening now.

My carer's just said, and I quote: "you won't be surprised to hear that I can't be arsed to stand over the cooker to make our lunch, sorry" so it'll be biscuits for lunch again... I suppose I should be grateful that he poured a glass of cherryade for me just now!

Book Review: The Lucky Escape by Laura Jane Williams

⭐ out of 5

This book, like with every book I read and review, will start off with the full 5 stars.

Oh dear.  I hope I'm wrong, but I'm under 1% through and have already found two errors multiple times that should have been picked up waaaay before it was published!  The first annoying error is that the author puts different characters speaking on the same line instead of in a new paragraph.  The second one is that there have been several occasions already where part of a sentence is on a new line, so you get literally two or three words on a line then the next line down the sentence carries on, so that's the first star lost already.  I seriously hope it improves from here on in.

Still at 1% and the author has used a brand name that I hope she's got written permission to use or she could get herself into hot water over.  I'm sorely tempted to knock off a second star, but I won't just yet.

The second star is coming off already 'cos chapter two starts on the same page as chapter one finishes, with just a number 2 separating them.  I was really looking forward to reading this book, but I'm struggling to find anything positive to say about it so far.

I know I've already knocked off a star for this, but having literally two or three words on a line before moving down a line and having two separate people talking on the same line is really getting on my nerves now, so I'm gonna knock off a second star which takes us down to 2 stars and I'm only 5% of the way through.  I'll be very surprised if I make it to 10% before I run out of stars and totally give up.

And it's the same with the start of chapter 3 too, so that's the fourth star coming off at 6%.  Either the publisher, Avon, is a self-publishing company, similar to KDP on Amazon and the author just couldn't be bothered to read her own book to fix the errors, or it was a genuine mistake on the editors part and they just approved it and hoped for the best.  I'll keep reading, but only until there's another unforgivable error.

Now the author is using a television show here in the UK and one of the very well-known presenters which could land the author in even more hot water, so at only 8% of the way through the book, I'm officially giving up and stopping reading.  I'm just grateful that I got it as a free ARC from NetGalley instead of paying for it and regretting every penny I wasted on it.

There wasn't any blog posts yesterday because...

...I didn't have an internet connection until the afternoon then forgot when I got it back.  I'm getting my hair cut today, so this may be the only one I post, but we shall see.


We've had a mini breakfast (Steve had 3 slices of toast and I had 1) and I've taken my morning pills... hope I don't forget my afternoon one when we get home!  Steve reckon's we won't be back until this afternoon and we're being picked up at 9.30am, so that's the same amount of time that I've spent with my mum since my father's funeral back in 2010 and we've already spent longer with his family in 2021 than I have with my family since the start of 2010... should be used to that by now I s'pose 😞

Not gonna do the virus scan until we get back home so that I don't have to stop it before it's finished.

Gonna put a book review on Amazon and this blog then shut down I reckon.


Tuesday 8 June 2021

I was right this morning, and...

...both Steve and D read this blog 'cos they've both mentioned in passing a couple of things I ranted about this morning lol  That's fair enough though, it's the only way anyone gives enough of a stuff to give a damn about what I think and feel, so I'll just keep on keeping on with this and leave it up to them to find out publically instead of shutting up and listening for more than 5 minutes/1 email 😀

I've taken my evening pills and done my last set of laps, but I'm wide awake now.  I'm gonna take the last replacement 5mg pill tomorrow evening, then I'm back to the cheaper and more effective ones so I'll prolly be down at around 5am again starting on Friday 😁

I've already decided that we're having omelette for lunch tomorrow to use up a considerable amount of our "mountain of eggs" and I bet I won't be getting porridge tomorrow morning again either... that's OK though, I've gotta get into a new routine of what I can have for breakfast that doesn't send me significantly over my calorie budget by lunch-time, like having 2 slices of toast and dairy free spread used to when I needed to put on the weight.

Steve's medical appointment has been cancelled tomorrow 'cos the nurse is off work sick, so I'm gonna have a shower and wash my hair first thing so that there's enough hot water for it to be above tepid, then Steve can use the rest of the emersion heater water to wash his hair after that.  It only needs to be every 6-ish weeks that we both wash our hair and I only have a bath when I'm going for a medical appointment or to see Steve's family, so the hot water won't need to be on again for me until a few days before my Neurology appointment on my mum's birthday.

The virus scan finished and didn't find any nasties again, I need to remember not to open my email programmes tomorrow 'cos of the weekly scan, then I'll do the backups and restore point and hopefully be able to download my emails before bedtime.

Gonna finish up on Facebook and reply to a comment on there as well as a couple of emails, then head to bed for an early night.  Doubt I'll post again before the morning now, so I'll say goodnight to you all now.  Sleep well and stay safe everyone!

Royal prediction for the future:

There are, I reckon, similarities between Harry and Meghan and what happened to Princess Diana so my prediction is that this is history repeating itself.  I totally seriously hope I'm wrong, but:


  • Princess Diana felt unsupported and pushed out of the Royal Family - same as Meghan.

  • Princess Diana did a tell-all about the Royal Family - same as Meghan.
  • Princess Diana escaped to America - same as Meghan.
  • Princess Diana was stripped of her royal title - same as Meghan.
  • Princess Diana wrote a (children's?? - can't remember for sure) book - same as Meghan.
  • Princess Diana had two children when she passed away - same as Meghan.
  • Princess Diana divided the country into royal love/hate feelings - same as Meghan


See what I mean?


I personally love our royal family and Princess Diana showed, through her personality, that she genuinely cared about everyone but she felt taken for granted and used - is that how Meghan feels too?  I seriously hope not, but even as a person who is famous and having to constantly be aware of every word and action you make in public, to being suddenly thrown into something that nobody can prepare you for 'cos they've never been a royal family member could very easily push even the strongest person over the edge.

I wish nothing but the best for Meghan, but the more I read from the internet and news and stuff, the more my alarm bells are ringing and I really hope they are wrong.

Maybe I'm being naieve, but I can't help being increasingly worried the more I read and maybe I should stop reading about it, right?

I've just...

...taken my morning pills 💊 and as usually happens, my body sighed with relief within seconds of swallowing the first one.  It's Tuesday today, so I took the FA too.  The virus scan is under way and my carers legs are up and he's snorning away, so I'll have to make the breakfast again, despite of his promises, multiple times yesterday, of porridge for breakfast this morning.


I didn't do my squats yesterday, so I need to do 'em today, along with my laps.  Need to charge up my FitBit 'cos it's only got 63% charge left, so won't log my sleep tonight if I don't.  Need to wait until I've had my porridge first though

Had a message from one of my twins overnight, thanks to D, but what they are telling me themselves this morning is significantly different to her message from them.  I'm grateful that she wants to help me with my grief, but lieing to me about something so heartbreaking isn't the way to go about it.  She seems to have contacts everywhere, but nothing ever comes of it... first it was in the children's books area, then to a variety of Archangels in Heaven, then Disney, then having private medical treatments that aren't available on the NHS and now Royal Mail.  I'm believing less and less of what she's telling me and I'm gonna phone Royal Mail to see if what she's been saying is true or not.  She's got one last chance to get the letter to me by next week (one of the only things I've asked her to do for me since I met her) or I'll be taking everything else she tells me with a pinch of salt.  She has absolutely no reason to lie to me to make herself seem like a better friend, but the more she lies, the less I believe her and less I want to do for her.


As I predicted at the start of this post, we ain't gonna have porridge this morning after all, "but we'll have posh burgers at lunchtime" which means I'll have two buns, two burger patties and two squirts of tomato sauce and Steve'll have cheese with his 4 burgers as well as everything else.  I'd better go and do it for him I suppose.



Monday 7 June 2021

12 minutes away from...

...10 hours of care for my carer today and I'm wiped out, so I'm heading off to bed.  Hopefully I'll get to sleep quickly enough, without too much tossing and turning tonight.


I'll be back tomorrow, but until then it's night night all.


Less than 6 hours

Just (11 hours late, but never mind, it's done for another week now) worked out the totals for the caring that my carer and I did for each other and they are as follows: 

Care provided by me yesterday:  9 hours 16 minutes

Care provided by my carer yesterday:  7 minutes

Total of last week's care by me:  64 hours 11 minutes

Total of last week's care by my carer:  2 hours 31 minutes

This week is week 8 of me keeping a record of how much care we provide for each other so we'll see just how much I do for my carer and how little he does for me... apparently he does everything for me and I do bugger all for him though, despite now having accurate proof for the last 6 weeks (the first week was hit and miss 'cos I kept forgetting about logging the care).

I forgot to bring my glass of water in 3 times and asked my carer to put it onto his list of things to talk to the Neurologist about but he hasn't done it yet, dunno why I even asked him... it'd have been a minute of care on his sheet in the spreadsheet already this week, but he kept saying he'd do it then find a reason not to.  Typical really.

The virus scan has finished and I'm still free of nasties, so time for my morning pills and maybe first set of laps of the downstairs and back yard, as long as my legs feel up to it.  Might give it another 20 minutes so that I can get the extra activity blob in the FitBit app though 😉 Time to make a start on the news until then though.

Sunday 6 June 2021

News for 6th June 2021

Icons made by Freepik from

6th June 2021

OFF THE BEAT | A friendship that started on the mat, lasted for decades

Salman Rushdie on his beautiful two-decade friendship with Carrie Fisher

Elizabeth Hurley on how she maintains a ‘strong friendship’ with ex Hugh Grant

TAIT: Decades-old friendship brought to the fore with discovery of unmarked residential school graves

It Might Just Be Time To Sack a Few Of Your Friends

Phillip Schofield says best friend Holly Willoughby was ‘like therapy’ after he came out as gay

Social Stigma Affects Young People’s Experiences of Hearing Voices


Well, so far today, I've...

...taken my morning pills, completed the virus scan, made breakfast for my carer, taken the rubbish and recycling out (all three recycling boxes and a full paper/card bag as well as the food waste caddy), did my first set of laps and squats, cared for my carer, made his lunch, and now he's expecting me to care for him all afternoon and evening again.  So far today, my carer has cared for me for 2 minutes (he slid the glass recycling box half way through the kitchen then threw the rubbish sack half way down the hall) today.  

Better add the time I started monitoring his breathing to the spreadsheet before I forget.


Done now... time to carry on with the news in between caring for my carer.  


Toodle pip for now.

Blimey Charlie!

Just done the maffs on tomorrow's grocery order and a huuuge £10.20 of it is just for me... that's the most since well before Christmas❗❗  Steve's stuff comes to £15.35 which is considerably more even and means that it's £14.64 for joint stuff, which is a lot more evenly bought than ever before.  Feeling guilty for having so much of my stuff on now though, even though I have no reason for it❗

Saturday 5 June 2021

News on 5th June 2021

It's been getting on for a week since there was last any news, and even now there is only one piece, but that's better than nothing, right?


Icons made by Freepik from

5th June 2021

Why some friendships drift apart

That's me done in until this afternoon now

Just done my laps and squats so I'm totally cream crackered now.  My knees start to complain at about 40 squats, but I'm determined to keep pushing through to 150 'cos it's only once a day and it'll hopefully get rid of my flabby thighs.  I really feel it in my left hamstring especially, so I think/hope I'm squatting deep enough now.

So far this morning, I've...

...cared for my carer for 101 minutes, made Steve a hot drink and breakfast, listened to my hubby talking about Star Wars and Schindlers List, supported someone via email, sorted out the birthday listing on the forum and I've just taken my morning pills so I'm gonna try and remember to exercise twice today instead of three times... gotta wait for Steve to stop talking about the film again first though!


Friday 4 June 2021

Well, this afternoon has been pleasantly different to usual!

After I had me lunch and took the plates back through to the kitchen, I took my 5th pill of the day and went out for my second set of laps.  Nothing new there, right?


Because of all the carbs in the pasta bake I've been very sleepy this afternoon so haven't done much, but eating almost an entire packet of chocolate biscuits was over 1000 calories which sent my 'calories in' graph on FitBit through the roof and it was still light outside, so I figured I'd attempt a third set of laps before taking my last two pills and heading to bed. 

Oh boy am I feeling it now 🤣

I'm heading off to bed to let my body recover from such an active day today, so I'm signing off for the day now, but I'll hopefully be back again tomorrow morning, so I'll see you all then.

Nite nite 4 now 💤

Can't remember what I've done this morning, but...

...I've set the virus scan going, made my carer a hot drink and his breakfast, taken my morning pills, phoned the pharmacy, gone for my first set of laps of the day, sorted out the news (there wasn't any again), had my lunch (pazza bake), took the empty plates through to the kitchen, taken my afternoon pill, done my squats and I'm gonna do my second set of laps in a bit, then I'll prolly be caring for my carer all afternoon again, same as always.

I've just had a message come up about restarting, but I dunno if it was just for my browser or my whole machine, so I'm gonna publish this then restart my machine while I'm doing my second set of laps of the day.


Thursday 3 June 2021

I've spent the afternoon...

...updating the courses I want to take on my navigation page and I've cared for my carer the whole bleedin' time, otherwise it'd've taken a couple of hours rather than all afternoon.  At least today's caring is in double figures now, so I'm already comfortably over budget and there are still 3 days to go.


We've decided what we're having for lunch tomorrow and Saturday too... Pasta Bake tomorrow and chips with mayo on Saturday, to try and put a hole in our chip mountain lol


I've also had the recommended 5 portions of fruit and veg today which my body really lapped up and felt better within minutes of each portion.  We didn't have toast this morning, so my calorie count is at a more sensible number today and I might even be able to turn it green instead of red for the first time this week and I don't even feel hungry, thankfully.  Tomorrow's lunch should make it a touch red though - I've just gotta remember to only have two slices of toast for breakfast so that I can have a sensible lunch without sending the graph into the red... it's the spread that causes it, 'cos it's made with oil rather than milk.

Apparently I walked off my frustration about having to bail Steve out again, so I've done a couple of sets today, which has helped with the calorie reduction too.

Just as I predicted last month...

...I'm having to bail my husband out for the second time in 28 days - £113 this time so that the mortgage is paid this month.  That's £138 in 28 days and Steve promised that the £25 for his mobile bill last month would be the last time, yet 28 days later I'm bailing him out yet again.


Not a happy bunny, but I should be used to it now, shouldn't I.


7 minutes away from...

...4 hours of care already this morning, so it's looking like another double figures day of care for my carer.


I've taken my morning pills, got everything together for UV22 and the support of friends has already started, so it's gonna be another day when I support others but they do buggar all to support me.


I'm expecting a battery delivery for my scales (I'm about 98% sure they're the right ones, but I won't know for sure until they are in the scales and I've successfully weighted myself) today, so that I can keep an eye on my weight again.  Gonna try using two batteries instead of a single one to see what happens this time.


The letter won't be coming today either, so that's 4 dates I've been given and a reason always comes up for it not being delivered - bet I'll get another day or couple of days when it'll be promised again but quelle surprise it won't turn up then either.  It's not often that I ask for support, but I rarely get it for more than a couple of messages/minutes.  I asked Steve, C and D to write the letter for me at exactly the same time 'cos I sent the request to all three of 'em in the same letter, but so far it's only C who has produced the goods.  Steve knows how my memory affects me better than anyone 'cos we live together, but he hasn't even started writing the letter or updating his notes yet, 'cos he reckon's he'll be allowed in to the appointment with me - but what if he isn't 'cos of Covid??

I've just heard Facebook Messenger ping, so I'd better go and support this friend again too and have to attempt to squeeze in time to work on the news this afternoon instead... same as always.

Wednesday 2 June 2021

Pretty productive morning, thankfully

Afternoon (just!) all.


Since my last blog post this morning, I've managed to put two manuscripts through editing, the virus scan has finished, backups started and I've just scoffed another banana, so I'm feeling pretty proud of myself right now.  Hopefully this afternoon I'll get the other manuscript sorted and I'll be able to check my emails, for the first time today, this afternoon.

Steve's still at his medical appointment, so I've achieved a lot in the last couple of hours because he hasn't been here, needing my care.

I'll be time for my lunchtime pill soon, so I'm gonna go and grab another glass of water (no pop so far today) to take it with, and hopefully I won't unplug the external hard drive with my feet, trying to clamber over the two leads for it.


Blimey Charlie!

There was only news for my writing site today, so the rest of the day is all mine❗  I'm pondering on studying today so that I don't go crazy with supporting others online, but I might read that other book I bought for researching my next story... haven't decided on the age of the characters yet though so dunno if it'll be an early reader for 5 year olds (which I've already got several of) or possibly an early chapter book for 5-7 year olds (which I've only got one of) or maybe even crack on with my editing pile 'cos there's three waiting in there, including two early chapter books.  Dunno yet, what do you reckon I should do❓


I've already done my morning laps and squats, watered the tomato plants and the virus scan is 72% finished already, so I don't wanna get too involved in anything otherwise I'll have to stop to do my weekly backups then I'll forget what I've been doing and have to start all over again.


Mornin' all

How are you doing today?

Sorry I didn't update this blog after my morning post yesterday - I completely forgot!

I remembered not to open my email programmes this morning, so was able to set the weekly virus scan going first time, amazingly.  I've had a couple of slices of toast and dairy free spread for my brekkie so now it's time to get on with the news.  Hopefully I'll remember to update this blog throughout the day todday 😄  Need to take my pills first... bbs.

OK, pills taken... went down pretty easily today, thankfully, so now it's time to make a start on today's news.

Tuesday 1 June 2021

All go this morning!

Mornin' all


Just a run-down on my morning so far:


I've taken my morning pills, listened to Steve talk about one of the YouTubers he follows, completed the daily virus scan, made breakfast and a hot drink and started working my way through the news.  There wasn't any writing news for my writing site and blog nor the first couple of sections of my homepage either, so I've just got one more set of news to work through on my homepage (and this blog), then I'll make a start on the navigation site's news bits and bobs.

My carer has phoned up about my prescriptions and apparently they will definitely be delivered tomorrow.  I'm expecting a letter that needs to be signed for before 11am and apparently the enabler is coming to drop off the laminated task list that she's done for us and we're having meat-free hot dogs for lunch as a change from our usual burgers.  


It's the deep virus scan tomorrow so Steve's got a beef lasagne and garlic bread to have and I'll finish off the bag of salad for my lunch... might have a salad sarnie for a change.

I'm wondering if I've got diabetes or if I'm just addicted to sugar 'cos I drink a litre of pop as soon as I come downstairs then it takes the rest of the day to drink the other litre of pop.  My mouth feels dry in the morning, no matter how much I drink and I don't fancy drinking 4 litres every day, like I did yesterday, or I'll never be out of the bathroom❗ 😆

Gonna make a start on the rest of the news now, while I've still got the motivation to do it, then do my squats and first walk around the house of the day.