Tuesday 31 August 2021

Last two pills of the day have been taken and...

...the side effects are already kicking in, so I'm gonna start shutting down then head to bed - bet it'll take me ages to fall asleep though lol


Nite nite orl.  Sea ewe in the morning again.

That's the tomatoes watered for the last time today, but...

...I noticed that the top leaves are looking incredibly dry, so maybe I need to go back to giving them a lunchtime water, like I did when it was really hot?  It hasn't been like that for weeks, but it looks like the leaves are desperate for an extra drink during the day, so I'll go back to watering them three times a day again to see if that reaches the tops of the plants - normal amount of water in the mornings and evenings with a smaller amount at lunchtime... "needs must" and all that jazz!

Afternoon pill is...

...down the hatch and I'll definitely have put on weight on Monday after eating the best part of 3,000 calories today... that's OK though, I just need to eat healthier for the rest of the week and Steve reckons he's gonna ask his mum to get us more Granola and milk which'll save at least 1,000 calories on 4 days purely from not having the pure calorific fat of the dairy-free spread every morning.  As long as I stay around about the right weight, I'm not too worried and I certainly won't go mad with restricting my food or going nuts with the exercise... I'm just giving my body what it needs and adjusting the next week accordingly.


I'm never going down to the weight I was in 2002 again and I'd like to do my best to avoid going too far into the overweight/obese range that I came out of hospital as in 2003.  I'd love to lose a touch more flab around my belly and thighs, but not at the risk of going underweight again.

Part 2 of today's lunch photos

Today's lunch was particularly yummy and we're both totally stuffed now.


As promised, here's the last two photos of our lunch, post serving and pre-noshing, same as usual:


Steve reckons he used slightly less pasta than usual today which made it more saucy and the grated cheese was medium instead of mature which I reckon helped too.


Time to take the plates out and get Steve his pudding (an ice cream) now while we both spend the afternoon burping and saying we've eaten too much again lol


First of 2 lunch photos

Nobody commented overnight or this morning 😢 about whether to have 3 posts with 4 photos or just a huuuge single one, so I've decided to do both:  I'll do three individual blog posts with each of the four photos soon after I've taken each one, then I'll put 'em all together into a much longer post so that you've got the choice over which one(s) you see.  They will be the same photos in the individual ones as there will be in the last photo post, but you'll get updates as soon as I've got the photos ready in the individual posts... just make sure not to drool everywhere as you see them 😁


Here's the first photo of today's lunch:

Today is the first of this week's two pazza bakes 😍  Tomorrow is Wednesday so that's a mug of zoop, then curreeee on Thursday (I think) and Friday is the second pazza bake meal so I'll prolly just do one photo/blog post for each of those meals 'cos I can't easily take before and during photos of those lol


Aksherly, scratch that... Steve's just put the cheese on, so I might as well do the second photo in this post then I'll do the normal "after" photos together.  Hold on while I resize the photo:

That's it until dishing up time now though, so I'd best publish this then put my laptop on the floor in preparation.

Be back after lunch.


News on 31st August 2021

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31st August 2021

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That's the 3rd week's groceries ordered now, and...

...it was considerably easier and less stressful than it usually is.  I've got quite a bit of stuff on there for a change, but I doubt most of it will still be there the day before it's due for delivery.


The totals of the shop I've just done currently look like this:

My stuff:  £8.24
Steve's stuff:  £15.85
Joint stuff:  £17.21

So it's a lot more of my stuff than normal, but I bet it won't stay like that!

Talking of money, Steve's just admitted that he had to re-borrow the £30 he "paid back" to cover his mobile phone bill, exactly as I predicted when he promised the date he'd pay the two August loans back (totalling £52)... yet he can afford to spend money on Patreon things and using his internet connection while he's at the doctors and stuff.  His current loans total is £2,190 and that's taking off over £1500 so that I could pay back the less than £200 he lent me soon after I became disabled.  I've got a record of when and how much I paid back, so if he complains about that in future, I'll be able to add the money to his debts.

He should be grateful that I'm not charging interest, sending reminder letters or affecting his credit score like banks would!

Mornin' all

What a morning!  I've got a fitness tracker (NOT my FitBit) around my wrist that I use mainly for the time and steps, occasionally for heart rate and BP readings.  I woke up when it was still pitch black outside and looked at my watch.  It said it was just gone 1am so I went back to sleep, I next woke up when it was light outside and my watch said it was 2am, so I'm laying there thinking "it can't be 2am and it's so light out there" so I figured I'd trust nature rather than my watch and got out of bed and put my glasses on.  That's when I realised that my watch said the date was also 01/01 so I immediately knew what was going on.  I got up, put my rings, cardi, boots and socks on and came downstairs.

I'd managed an extra hour of sleep, so my body obviously needed it and I'm feeling much better for it too.

I've watered the tomatoes, taken my morning pills and I'll go and make breakfast when Steve's finished washing in the kitchen sink again 🤮

Oh right, he's just come back in, so time to go and make breakfast for him now.  BBIAB.

Monday 30 August 2021

Just given the tomatoes their last drink of the day and...

...they are definitely ripening up nicely - even since this morning.  They are a slightly deeper orange now but there is still a looong way to go before they are pickable.  I reckon Friday at the very earliest.


There's some kind of plant/weed that's been growing over the back wall and it's getting its claws into the tomatoes now, so I reckon I'll be snapping off those bits tomorrow so that they don't strangle the tomato plants and kill them... can't have that happening after I've cared for them for so long!


Aksherly, I think I'll go and do that now before I forget... BBIAB!



Back now... I got rid of the bits I could see at the front and side of the tomatoes, but there were still some weedy leaves/branches/stems/whatever they are, so I gently pulled on those and discovered that it has been growing around the back of the blimmin' tomatoes too... not good and not happy.  The tomatoes are free of the weed's clutches now though, for the time being at least, so they won't die for that reason.  I just hope that the person who lives with their back garden up against our wall is OK and that they just haven't realised how overgrown their garden has obviously become!


Today's lunch was...

...a mug of minestrone instant soup, courtesy of me.  Tomorrow is pasta bake though and I'd love to get a before it goes in the oven photo, as well as the cheesy top before it goes back in, then the same as last time we had it - freshly out of the oven and the last photo of it being on my plate before I dig in.  Hopefully there will be four photo's of tomorrow's lunch, but I can't guarantee it... all depends on my memory and Steve's patience with me lol


Here's today's photo though, with the naughty word blanked out again so that it's safe for young eyes:


I've just asked Steve about taking the extra couple of photos tomorrow and he's agreed "as long as you don't get in the way!" so be on the look out for up to four photo's tomorrow.  Let me know in the comments if you want several photos in just one single blog post or if you want three different posts (the last two photos will be in the same post, same as last time) with one photo in each post.  I honestly don't mind either way, so let me know what you'd prefer and I'll go with the majority 👌

Thank you Gaia!

I've just found what I was looking for in one place, one pill, for under £10 and free next day delivery, so I just need to get everything sorted, get my Will sorted and I'm good to go with that too.


Thank you so much for pointing me in the right direction, Gaia!


That's my lunchtime pill taken...

I usually swallow it crunched up and with squash but I figured I'd try with water today and the bits went everywhere... I'm still fishing them all out with my tongue lol

I remembered to take every pill last week, which is a very rare event and I couldn't have done it without my reminders on my phone and laptop and my pill organiser!  Keep your fingers crossed 🤞 that I get to be fully and properly dosed this week too please, 'cos I didn't even need a single spray of the B12 last week and I'm all up for that!

News on 30th August 2021

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30th August 2021

How to Set Boundaries With a Friend Who Treats You Like Their Therapist - Amanda's comment: Yup, but I've tried this which works for all of an hour then my boundaries vanish into thin air and it's all about them constantly again! I tried it at the weekend and I got 3 very short sentences of support then paragraphs upon paragraphs of them needing my support again!


Mornin' all

How does this first blog post of the day find you all?

I'm having a good day so far 'cos Steve's already made my squash, I've taken my morning pills, the daily virus scan is very nearly finished and I've just remembered to charge up my watch before it totally died on me.

We're having zoop for lunch and I've gotta remember to weigh myself after I've had me breakfast so that I can code and upload the FitBit spreadsheet for you all.

Steve's chair broke on Friday or Saturday, so he's gotta phone the hospital to find out how to get it repaired, but I bet he'll forget then blame me for not reminding him, same as always.

Gonna let my carer sleep for a bit longer then go and make his breakfast... gotta remember to eat something then weigh myself when I do that though!

Might go and make myself a drink of water and fill up my carer's water bottle while he's asleep so that it's one less thing to remember to do while he's awake and will hopefully encourage him to drink more - he drank almost 2 litres yesterday, which is a vast improvement on his usual of under 1 litre... although having that litre of orange juice first thing prolly helped 😀


I forgot to publish this before I carried on with my day, but since I lost track, I've taken the toilet roll plastic packaging out to the bin, along with my carer's juice bottle, watered the tomatoes (there are definitely 3 mostly-orange ones and 6 very green ones atm), sorted out one set of news and the recycling vehicle has just come down the street, so I'm gonna publish this now before I forget and bring the empty boxes and bag in.

Sunday 29 August 2021

I fancy an early night so I've just done the maffs and...

...as predicted, it's an over 75 hour week for me caring for my carer, but my carer only cared for me for 2 hours and 20 minutes this week.  Let's put it in the final highlighted list for the week:


My care of my carer:  75 hours 19 minutes
My carers care of me:  2 hours 20 minutes

My maffs has never been great, but I've cared for my carer for more than double the minimum about and my carer hasn't even cared for me for ⅒ of the minimum required time yet he keeps saying that he does everything for me.

Aksherly, while I'm ranting about it, lets total up the care for the last 10 weeks:

Amanda's total care of her carer:  675 hours 43 minutes
Total care by Amanda's carer:  30 hours 39 minutes

So he hasn't even managed a week's worth of care in 10 weeks!!

My evening pills side effects are starting to kick in now, so I'm gonna head to bed now, but I'll see you bright and early in the morning, ready to start another week.

Nite nite orl.

Given the tomatoes their final drink of the day and...

...the greeny-orange ones from this morning are more orange than this morning already.  There's still a hint of green-ness to them, but they are more orangey now.  There are 3 at about the same orangeyness, so they will prolly be ripe enough to pick together and there are 5 or 6 others that are still very green, but that's a pretty decent haul just from watering them every day for the last few months.

3 hours late, but...

...I've just taken my afternoon pill and I'm about to re-fil my pill organiser ready for next week.


Better late than never and all that jazz.

Yup, today looks pretty likely for...

...another 12 hour day of caring for my carer, 'cos it's only just gone mid-day and I've already cared for my carer for 5¼ hours today, so just got 6¾ hours to go to hit the mark which means I'd go over the 75 hours of weekly care again.  Apparently I don't do anything to support him though 😞

It's lunch time, so I'd best go and make it for him. Again.

I've just asked Steve two things

  1. to check tomorrow's grocery order - he had a look and said "it's all fine" so he's got no reason to ask why I don't have anything (other than the burgers) getting delivered tomorrow, right?

  2. I also asked him (twice so far this morning) if he wants me to re-dress the back of his thigh again and he said "later" both times, so he can't blame me when the dressing comes off and it gets infected, right?

Achieved a decent amount already today!

So far this morning, I've done everything I said about in my first blog post this morning, as well as:

  • supported the friend and got 2 sentences of support this time
  • made breakfast for my carer
  • sorted the news
  • put the rubbish and recycling out
  • filled up a bottle with water for my carer
  • and cared for my carer for 4 hours and counting so far this morning.

Apparently lunch will be "crisps and biscuits" after my carer had more than the entire days calories just for breakfast, so I'll have to do him another MugShot for lunch again.  He tells everyone that he makes all my meals yet has only made me 3 meals this week and he's not going to cook for lunch, so the weekly total is 3 meals that he's cooked and I've done 10 meals, and lunch will be 11 meals.  


I can pretty much guarantee that he won't do any more caring for me if he's not making our lunch so out of the 35 hours minimum, I've only actually had 2 hours and 20 minutes all week, which I've already nearly doubled this morning alone, yet apparently I don't do anything to support him 🤷

Just been out to water the tomatoes and...

...there are three that are a mixture of green and light orange now, so hopefully by this time next week there will be another harvest.  The others are still very green, but that's OK 'cos they'll ripen when they're ready and it's better to have a couple at a time 'cos it's just the two of us eating 'em, so the Green Man is obviously looking out for me with that too... thank you Green Man!

Mornin' all

How are you all doing this morning?  My lower back is killing me and the paracetamol isn't even touching the pain.


The virus scan has finished (still clear, thankfully) and I've taken my pills, I've already cared for my carer for over 70 minutes this morning and I've gotta remember to give him the big bottle of orange juice when I make his breakfast.  I've gotta support a friend again first though, then water the tomatoes, then time to crack on with doing the news.


Saturday 28 August 2021

Last harvest for a while

These are the last two red tomatoes, but several of the green ones are starting to get ever so slightly orange, so I'll keep watering them, but I doubt there will be another harvest until at least the end of the week, maybe even next weekend.  I'm not complaining, just relieved that we've only had a couple of tomatoes to harvest at a time 'cos there's only two of us.



I haven't watered 'em this evening 'cos the soil still felt damp, so I'm giving them the evening off then a big-ish drink tomorrow morning, but I don't wanna drown them now that I've been able to harvest a few of 'em and we're tasting the fruits of my labour now.  Unless they significantly change shape, there will be some weird shapes in the next harvest 😁

We're gonna have a lot of mince-y meals!

I've just discovered 3 packets of Quorn mince literally stuck to the bottom of the freezer and Steve's got at least 3 meals that I can't have (2 chilli con carne tins and a jar of Korma sauce) but we will have officially emptied the freezer for the first time in at least a decade then!  Maybe I'll use my savings to restock the freezer again so that we aren't tempted to stock and forget again?  I'm proud of us for getting to this stage though... an almost-empty cupboard, almost-empty chest freezer and pretty much empty small freezer too.  I've taken off the mince and added chilli power instead but other than that, everything is the same as it was a few minutes ago lol


We've wasted way too much money on food we've bought then forgotten and that's never going to happen again, right Steve?


It was good while it lasted for that one week

I've just had to take my pop off Monday's order, yet again, so that I could afford the toilet rolls that Steve's used two of in 6 hours, so he'll finish off the open pack tonight/tomorrow which just leaves this week's rolls.


Monday's grocery totals now look like this:


My stuff:  £1.25
Steve's stuff:  £17.70
Joint stuff:  £22.17

Just as a rare change, it's the joint stuff that's most expensive this time, but Steve's is still over ten times more expensive than mine and the only reason I've got anything on there at all is because it's a box of four veggie burgers so that I can actually have burgers for the first time in several weeks and they will last me for two weeks.

I've just told Steve that I've had to adjust the shopping so that I could put more toilet rolls on and his reaction was to say that we still had another pack from this week, which is right, but if Steve's gonna use two rolls a day then we we'll run out by the middle of the week.

I calculated it the other day that a single roll would last me the best part of three weeks if it was just me using it, but Steve gets through that every single day or, if it's like today, two a day.  In theory I only need a pack of two a month so why does Steve use it up so much quicker than that?

Today's lunch photo

I've just made Steve's lunch (Mac 'n' cheese MugShot) and I'm having pudding with mine - biscuits.  Here's the photo for today:

Yup, two slices of bread and four biscuits is my lunch today.

Totals for meal-making are now, officially (out of a potential 12):

Steve's cooked for:  3 meals
Amanda has made:  9 meals

Might as well do the caring totals so far this week too, just while I've got the page open:

Steve's care of Amanda:  2 hours 19 minutes
Amanda's care of Steve:  58 hours 19 minutes
and counting, 'cos he's just started his afternoon snooze so I'd better take his mug into the kitchen before he knocks it over and smashes it.

My supplements arrived with the post this morning...

...so I'm all sorted for another year now and I'm just waiting for my choccie which could take up to 10 working days, so it'll be here in a couple of weeks, but it's sooo worth it to know that I can scoff as much as I like without worrying about any allergens affecting me (it'll be over-indulgence rather than food allergy if I get ill when I have it 😜)


Just got gifts for C, my mum and reluctantly Steve to get in October and December, then my anti-virus programme to buy in January and our two nephews' Yule and birthday gifts to get then that's it for another year.


...lunch today will be Mug Shots for Steve, made by me, 'cos Steve can't be bothered to cook again, so he's gonna have a Mug Shot and I'll have a couple of slices of bread (no spread) so that I can finish off the loaf and Steve can start the fresh loaf for his breakfast tomorrow.  At least it'll get my protein percentage up a bit more though.  


It just pisses me off that Steve says he "cooks every meal for her" yet my spreadsheet and the photo's prove that he's only cooked 3 meals out of a possible 11 so far this week (lunchtime will be the 12th meal of the week), so he lies through his teeth about that too.


So far this week, Steve's cared for me for 109 minutes and I've cared for him for over 53 hours.  Guess who is registered as whose carer?

Me?  Pissed off?  Too bloody right I am!

As predicted...

...I'm gonna have to spend all day supporting others.  I needed support 5 days ago, so reached out to someone, they replied this morning just saying that they were thinking of me before going back to their needs and making me feel guilty for needing support when they were in need of support too.  Same as always and means that right now my plan is looking more and more tempting.  I know this attempt will work without looking suspicious, I've just gotta find the money for it first then write my goodbye notes to S, C, D and my mum then I'm good to go.


I've already written out a document of things I want to happen with my things when I'm no longer here, but it has to be signed and witnessed by someone not included in it 'cos it's a legal document, right?


S seems to think that they'll be getting my life insurance without even asking me, so if the document is legal even without being witnessed then they'll have a surprise when they find out what I've said in the document and what I want to happen with my stuff!


Had enough of today already

My mood is through the floor, my legs are shaking, my arms are weak, my head feels like it's full of cotton wool, I've got zero motivation and Steve's broken his chair which he made me feel like was my fault.


I've made Steve's breakfast, done the admin on the forum, taken my morning  pills, watered the tomatoes and my monthly virus scan is under-way, so now it's time to make a start on the news while I care for my carer.


I really have had as much as I can take today already but no-one seems to care about that, as long as I support them as soon as they need it every fucking day.

Just had to get a towel for Steve so that he can put his legs up on his stool safely and made him a hot drink.  The towel is currently on the floor and Steve's asleep, so that's another drink gone to waste.

Gonna pop a 5-HTP and hope that kicks in as quickly as normal then I'll hopefully be able to get on with my day of caring for my carer with him doing bugger all to deserve the title of being my carer.

Just crunched the 5-HTP up and swallowed it and it was already starting to work by the time I'd found the link for you all!  I've only got one left though, so I hope I don't need any more pick-me-ups before my new order arrives!

Friday 27 August 2021

Just harvested another couple of tomatoes

Considering I've never grown tomatoes before in my life and it was very much lumbered on me, I've just harvested another couple of tomatoes from our plants.  I don't reckon there will be a harvest tomorrow 'cos they still look a bit too orange, but hopefully we'll get one (or was it two??) on Sunday.  It'll be at least a few days, prolly getting on for a week before the next harvest 'cos the other tomatoes are still very very green, so I'll keep watering them and monitoring their colour, until they are pickable too.


Here's today's photo:

They were both the size of a small "wonky" tomato you would get in a supermarket, but they were big enough for two mouthfuls per tomato for me an' 'im and they tasted so much better 'cos they were home-grown and had only been off the vine for minutes as opposed to days like the supermarket ones.

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Just about to...

...take my afternoon pill and assuming I do, I'll have taken all my pills at the proper times so far this week (which is gonna jinx it now, innit 😔).  Hold on while I get it down the hatch.


OK, it's been crunched up and swallowed now and I've just got another 14 pills to take this week, then that's a complete week of pill-taking achieved for a change.  I usually forget at least one of the afternoon pills each week, so I'm feeling pretty proud of myself right now 😌.

I reckon I'm gonna spend the afternoon doing surveys now that I'm finally back on track with them all again.

Simple but yummy lunch today

Nothing fancy, just 8 squished up hard boiled eggs, mayonnaise and pepper in a bowl with a fork.  Simple and yummy... I've got a grain of pepper stuck to the underneat of my tongue now though 😆


Here's today's photo of my lunch: 


I was wrong about lunch again

I doubted Steve's motivation to make lunch for us this morning and I've been proved wrong, sorry about that.  I'm having 8 eggs all mashed up with plenty of pepper and mayonnaise and Steve's having a couple of MugShots instead of the fried eggs he said he was going to have all day yesterday, but as long as we both have something (ideally solid) for lunch, then that's totally OK with me.


Gotta remember to take a photo of it for you all too.


Steve's just told me what he wants for his birthday this year

"For my birthday this year, because it's my 50th, I don't want cards or gifts or anything like that, I just want a huge Chinese and to see B for the first time"


I can (reluctantly) do the Chinese, but I don't like the way he's assuming I'll get him anything - it's his 50th though, so I might make an exception to my rule of only getting gifts for those who have got them for me this year... next year though, if he doesn't get me anything for my birthday this year, he won't be getting anything at all.

Tomatoes have had their morning drink

Just been out to water the tomatoes for the first time today.  One is very ripe, so I reckon that one needs to be harvested before it drops off the plant and splats onto the floor, so I might do that while Steve's cooking our lunch today.


Here's this morning's photo:  

I've said to Steve that I may need his help to harvest today, but I very much doubt he'll help.  Again.

Mornin' all. So far today I've...

  • run the daily virus scan
  • drunk a litre of liquid
  • taken my morning pills
  • cared for my carer for 75 minutes and now that he's awake, it's time for me to make his breakfast for him.


Gotta remember to water the tomatoes this morning, so I might do that now, before making breakfast.




Thursday 26 August 2021

That's the tomatoes watered for the last time today

Just been out to give the tomatoes their second drink of the day and I reckon two of 'em will be ready for picking tomorrow 'cos they are nicely red and slightly bigger than the tomato that Steve had the other day.  Took a photo of them all.  A lot of them are still green and there are some weird shaped ones, but that's OK - as long as they ripen and don't poison us when we eat them then shape doesn't matter to us!


Here's the photo: 

Tomorrow's harvest will be more of a challenge 'cos they are mid-way between the two plants, but those and the ones above them will be the last harvest for a little while 'cos the rest of the tomatoes are still very green but it's the first time I've grown tomatoes in my life, so getting any at all is something to be proud of I reckon, considering the first I knew of it was when Steve took them out of Marie's car and put them in front of our front door!

Today's (26th August 2021) lunch

We really did have the original plan for lunch, it was truly vegan and my body is celebrating for having so many fresh vegetables too.  I've always enjoyed vegetables but because our diet has usually been rice or pasta-based recently, it celebrates every time I give it natural vegetables now.


Steve said to put another tin of New Potatoes on Monday's order so I'm hoping that we'll have them along with the Quorn sausages and hopefully more runner beans next week.  I think Steve said he enjoyed cooking today's lunch too, so hopefully he can remember that enjoyment and we can regularly have more fresh foods instead of pasta and rice.

We've got burgers and curry sauce on Monday's order, along with frozen onion rings and now the new potatoes, so we're kinda mixing our diet up a bit next week.  There's 2 packets of spaghetti, 2 jars of Pasta Bake and 3 packets of grated cheese so we're sorted for next week's food too... just gotta hope that Steve keeps up the motivation to keep cooking for both of us.

Assuming we use the jars next week, we'll have to re-stock the cupboard again the week after, for the first time in at least 18 months 😄

Thank you so so much for cooking for us, Steve

That's the days housework task done

Today's housework task was to sweep the floors, which I did while I was waiting for my cuppa to brew (I like it stronger than most people and black 'cos of my allergy), so that's done and dusted for another week now.  Tomorrow's task will take more motivation 'cos I've gotta tackle the bedrooms, but if I just aim to half fill a bin bag instead of the whole room then it's more manageable... I'm fine when I've made a start on it, it's just finding the motivation to start is all.


Steve was feeling iffy about doing our lunch today and said that it'd have to be MugShots again if I wanted an early lunch but when I said that I was happy to wait for a later lunch, the original plan went back into force, so we're still having vegan sausages and veggies today and the majority of the eggs for lunch tomorrow... I just hope that we remember to pepper my eggs so that I don't get "egg-bound" again 😃

We've gotta replace the rug in the hall 'cos it's definitely seen better days and the sweeper needs to be emptied too, but we've got a week to do that in and I can't do it safely, so hopefully Steve'll do it while I'm sorting the bedrooms tomorrow.

We've already decided on tomorrow's lunch

We've got 2 dozen eggs, so tomorrow is gonna be a bowlful of squished up hard boiled eggs and mayonnaise for me and Steve reckons he'll have fried eggs which should hopefully get through a big chunk of the eggs so that they aren't wasted again.  I've said about having a week off Steve's mum getting the eggs on Saturday but I can almost guarantee he won't say that to her, just like with the magasines and his pads yesterday.


Mornin' all

Having a good morning so far today so I hope it continues.

I've given the tomatoes their first drink of the day and there are already more red ones than there were yesterday morning, so hopefully I'll be able to pick another couple tomorrow and maybe a couple on Saturday too, as well as possibly on Sunday, then we'll have to wait for the green ones to ripen up for a few more days, but right now we've got a small daily supply out there until the weekend. 

I'm thinking I'll only have a couple of slices of toast a day so that my calorie count doesn't go through the roof and make me put on weight when I should be maintaining.


Gotta remember to charge up my fitness tracking watch, so I'm gonna do that now before I forget... OK, it's plugged in now.


I've sent a book review to Amazon for a book that has been released today but I got an ARC of so that is another thing off my to-do list.

The virus scan is underway and I've taken my morning pills, so time to crack on with the news now I reckon.  Gotta make a hot drink for Steve first though!

It's "sweeping the floors" on today's housework list, so I expect I'll have to do that too, despite Steve promising to help.

Wednesday 25 August 2021

Steve's just had his tomato

It's taken him almost 10 hours, but he's finally chomped down on his tomato and was impressed that I hadn't poisoned him with it lol  He nodded when I said "they're really sweet to ain't they?" and replied "not very pippy either" then showed me his bitten into tomato and it looked almost seedless, but that could just because it was smaller than the ones you get from the shops.  Gonna leave it a couple of days before I harvest any more so that they have a chance to redden and ripen a bit more, but we're into the harvesting as opposed to growing part of gardening now.  


Still got loads of green oblangular ones that'll be interesting to see what happens to - if they grow more and fill out or if they will be harvested with their current shape.

After watering the blimmin' things for so many months with no thanks for it, it's good to finally get to taste the fruits of my labour that Steve's still taking credit for, despite literally throwing a bowlful of water at them from the back door once since we've had them!  That's a rant I've been having for months though, that I'm sure you're all bored to the back teeth of now lol

A couple of hours late, but...

...I've just taken my afternoon pill and got another bottle of pop for my carer, so it's time to crack on with the survey's now.


Today's (25th August) lunch photo

There wasn't a breakfast photo 'cos I didn't have any 'cos there wasn't enough left for me to have after Steve had had his.  I've just made our lunch though so here's the photo of mine:

I've blanked out the naughty work again, just in case there are young eyes looking at this blog post.

Steve brought some beans home with him courtesy of his family, so apparently tomorrow's lunch will be tinned potatoes, fresh onions, fresh beans and either a pie or vegan sausages, depending on what Steve's family can get with their groceries for us tonight.

Steve had an ice cream for his pud again and I'm being forced to have the middly-sized tomato that I picked this morning, on the agreement that Steve has the biggest one.  This morning's tiny tomato 🍅 was amazingly sweet and tasted so much better because it was home-grown.

I was wrong in my last blog post - sorry about that

I was wrong about two things in my last blog post, sorry about that.  The first mistake was the amount of calories I'd consumed - I accidentally put in 1¼ litres of soya milk instead of what I actually drank which was only a quarter of a litre, so that was 100 calories instead of 500.

I also said that I wouldn't be eating anything until I was sick with hunger and I wrong about that too 'cos I'm eating some bread so that I don't get nauseous and I'm gonna plow my way through the sultanas while the back-ups are under way too.

I apologise for both of my mistakes, but I honestly didn't know that they were mistakes at the time I published them.

Pills popped, virus scan finished, tomatoes watered and...

...two of 'em were harvested.

Pre-harvest photo:

Post-harvest photo:


Harvested photo:

Breakfast today was 250ml of soya milk so that Steve could finish off the granola (out of 4 bowls in each packet, I had one and Steve had three this time) so I'm currently hungry and today is gonna be MugShots and I bet that Steve'll want one of the only ones (tomato) I can have because of being vegetarian and my food allergy, so I won't be eating anything today but I'll be making Steve two meals again.  If he does have a tomato one, that's two meals I'll go without 'cos I won't be able to have it today and Steve will have an extra one of his left so I won't be able to eat the day he has that either.

I'm into my second glass of water today because Steve doesn't want a hot drink, so today is gonna be another low calorie (500 so far), high liquid (1250ml litres so far) day and I'll be going to bed hungry again.  I'll have a couple of slices of bread if I start feeling sick with hunger as long as there's enough left for Steve to have with his sarnies tonight.

Time for the backups now though, then I'll do the news when that's done and dusted.

Tuesday 24 August 2021

That's the last two pills popped, so now...

...I'm just waiting for the side effects to kick in so that I can have another early night.


Apparently I was asleep for over 9 hours last night, so if I can do that tonight too, my body will hopefully have caught up on those couple of hours from when I was awake and down here at just gone 4am last week.  My body seems to need at least 8 hours of sleep a night so that it can function the next day, but those 4am starts meant it only had 7 hours of sleep each night and I've been feeling it ever since.


It feels like the side effects are starting to kick in already, so I'm gonna head to bed now, but I'll be back, same as always, tomorrow morning.


Nite nite orl.



Very nearly harvest time for...

...a couple of our tomatoes!

2 of 'em were pretty much the same colour this morning (the two reddest ones) but the other 3 have significantly ripened since their first watering of the day this morning.

Steve reckons tomorrow will be harvest time for the two ripest ones tomorrow then he's gonna take a photo of them in my hands to send to his sister (who gave him the plants in the first place) so that he can gloat to her that "we've been able to start picking and eating ours but hers are still small and green even though they've been in the greenhouse!" lol

Time for me to go out and give them a drink then I'll come in and take my last two pills of the day I reckon.

Pretty proud of today's activities because...

...not only did I have a productive morning, but I've read and reviewed a couple of children's books this afternoon as well as supporting friends and caring for my carer.  Feeling full of motivation, but I don't think there's anything other than surveys and Facebook left to do now!


Don't suppose anyone has any ideas of vegan things to do with Cous Cous especially but savoury rice too do they pretty please?  We've put some on our order and Steve knows, in theory at least, how to cook cous cous, but because neither of us have eaten it before, we don't know what it goes with!  We've got some frozen vegetables on the same order, but shouldn't there be something else that goes with it?  Like quiche or anything like that?  We've got some Pig-Out rolls that are gorgeous... would they go with it to make a meal or not really please?


Any vegan ideas that are available in the UK (ideally Morrisons, but Tesco will hopefully be OK to at a push) and suitable for vegans would be most welcome in the next couple of weeks!  Thank you so much in advance!

Ooooh!  I know what I can do!  I can go and take a photo of our tomatoes then give them their evening drink!  I'll go for a wee then do that while I remember!


Today's (24th August 2021) lunch photo

Just scoffed today's lunch of vegetable lasagne and remembered to take a photo of it for you all:

Steve's got a medical appointment tomorrow morning, so it'll either be zoop or another MugShot tomorrow, but that's OK 'cos he's too cream crackered to cook when he gets home each week and I can do it 'cos it's just a case of boiling the kettle and pouring it into mugs is all.

There prolly won't be any photos tomorrow 'cos I won't be having any breakfast and it'll just be the same photo as yesterday for lunch, so I dunno if you wanna have a peek at that?  Let me know in the comments and I'll do whichever the majority want 😉

Been pretty productive since my last blog post this morning!

Hello again everyone


Since my last blog post, I've done three sets of news, prepared our lunch (my carer is cooking for the first time this week), sorted out the email report on my FitBit and taken my afternoon pill.


I dunno what was so different last week, but I hit my target every day except Saturday so I had 6 stars out of 7 which hasn't happened for a looong time, possibly since the puppy passed away at the end of last year, so I'm feeling pretty proud of myself right now!


I've also achieved what I was hoping to this morning in that I've drunk significantly less by having hot drinks, than I do with water and pop.  I'd already drunk about 3½ litres by this time yesterday, but I've only just hit the 2¼ litre mark after taking my afternoon pill, so I'm on track for possibly downing 3 litres of liquid today instead of yesterday's 5¼ litres and Sundays 5¾ litres when it hasn't been blisteringly hot like it was a few months ago.


Lunch smells divine and like it's almost ready, so I'm gonna publish this then put my laptop on the floor.  I'll hopefully remember to take a photo of it this afternoon lol

News on 24th August 2021

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Already achieved a pretty decent amount this morning

So far today I've:

  • Started and completed the daily viru scan
  • Made breakfast for me an' 'im
  • Took the bowls out to the kitchen
  • Taken Steve's recycling through to put in the box
  • Taken my morning pills
  • Watered the tomatoes for the first time today
  • Made a hot drink for both of us


Amazingly my carer has stayed awake all morning so far, but that won't be for long now that he's had his breakfast - I give it under an hour from now😃

I'm gonna take part in an experiment today and drink mainly hot drinks instead of water, to see if that reduces the volume of liquid I consume.

I've put in a grocery order for 3 week's time and we're gonna try cous cous with plenty of veggies as well as savoury rice with veggies that week.  We've got plenty of fruit and 1kg of "wonky carrots" on this coming Monday's order, along with burgers for both of us, so looks like we're having burgers next week then.  As long as it gets eaten as opposed to wasted, I'm fine with that though!

Oh boy, the hayfever has started so it's gonna be a sniffy, sneezy, eye watery, coughy day today by the looks of things.

I was right, up there ⮙⮙, when I said my carer would be asleep in under an hour... he didn't even make it to half an hour, let alone an hour!  😄

Gonna charge up my FitBit, but for now it's time to publish this and get on with my day.  Be back again later, as always.

Monday 23 August 2021

Sorry for the lack of blog posts this afternoon and evening

I've spent the afternoon caring for my carer and doing surveys.  I've just taken my last two pills of the day, so I'm gonna go out and water the tomatoes while I'm waiting for the side effects to kick in.


I think I've worked out why I've been drinking so much for the last few weeks... I've been having mainly water with just an occasional hot drink or glass of pop but I've had 2 hot drinks since the shopping came and genuinely haven't felt the need to guzzle any more liquid.  I'm gonna try and remember to test out my theory tomorrow and have mainly hot drinks instead of water and cream soda 'cos I'd guzzled my way through 2 litres before 10.30am today, but have only had two hot drinks all afternoon and evening!


Time to go and water the tomatoes now, so that I don't forget then I can head to bed for an early-ish night.  Doubt I'll post again before I head to bed, so I'll say goodnight to you all now and I'll see you back here tomorrow morning.


Today's (23rd August) lunch photo

The red rectangle is blanking out a swear word on the mug.

I made the lunch today - a MugShot each.  Still hungry after not having any breakfast, so I'll see how many slices of bread my carer wants for his tea then I'll see if there's enough left for me to eat something solid today 'cos I've only consumed 589 calories so far today and I've still got 826 calories left to eat!

I've just taken my lunchtime pill, so it's just the two prescribed ones tonight now.  I'm hoping for a really early night tonight after waking up at just gone 4am to care for my carer twice last week.

It's barely lunchtime, but..

...I've already cared for my carer for a smidgen over 5 hours today and he doesn't fancy cooking so I'm gonna be making MugShots for both of us for lunch and it'll be my only meal so I'll be about 500 calories under what it should be.  If I get desperate I'll have a couple of slices of bread this afternoon, but that'll mean that there isn't enough bread for my carer's tea then, so it might just be a 750 calorie day after all.


The bin collectorer (singular again, so I reckon the council is definitely short-staffed today) has just backed the van thing down the road, so I'll go out and bring our rubbish sack in when I've published this blog post and seen him drive past the house again, then I'll go and make our lunch.


15 minutes away from...

...having cared for my carer for 4 hours already this morning, and it's not even 10am 🕙 yet.  Based on that alone, today should be a pretty easy 10 hours and might even manage to sneak in 12 hours.


I worked out, while I was sat on the toilet, that...

...there are 3 bowls of granola left, so we'll both have a bowl each tomorrow then Steve'll have breakfast again on Wednesday and I'll be forced to go without again.  1 packet of granola is 4 breakfasts, so by the time we've finished this packet, I'll have had 3 bowls and Steve will had 5.


It's a good job I'm not having breakfast today 'cos I'm 1.2kg over the weight the nurse wants me to be, so missing a couple of breakfasts this week will hopefully put me back on target for next week.


I've already cared for my carer for very nearly 3 hours this morning and I think the council are seriuosly short-staffed today 'cos there was just one man doing the driving as well as collecting when there are usually three of them - one doing the blue bag, one doing food waste and the other doing the recycling box - but there was just the driver doing all three this morning so he deserves a bonus or at least a huge thank you from his boss!


I'm currently drinking my second glass of water this morning and there's been no news on any of the three sites I put it onto, so the morning is mine now, in preparation for bringing in the rubbish sack then the groceries this afternoon.  I hope we'll have something decent for lunch 'cos my stomach thinks my throat's been cut atm.


I've watered the tomatoes and I reckon two of 'em will be ready to be picked tomorrow and the huge one is starting to turn from green to orange now too, so I reckon that'll be ready before the weekend too.   Touch wood, my hayfever hasn't been too bad so far this morning.

Just had the email to say our groceries are on their way, so hold on while I have a peek at it... 


...OK, so 2 of the packs of 4 orange juices are out of stock so that's been replaced with two bigger ones, so I won't be having any juice this week so that Steve can have the one pack of four that's in stock, the two left over from last week and the replacements 'cos they are 1 litre bottles instead of 250ml ones.  Basically I'll be living on water until lunchtime (assuming my carer can be bothered to cook this week), one bowl of granola and 3 days worth of toast this week then, 'cos there's no way my carer will go without anything, same as always.  Steve's white chocolate milk has been replaced with chocolate milk, so he'll be having that as well as his Turkish Delights, Jaffa Cakes, carrot cake slices and crisps this week and I'll be having cream soda which I suppose I should be grateful for.

Steve's milk runs out soon, soo...

...he wanted granola instead of toast this morning, so he's got that and juice and I've just got juice until lunchtime, which is OK 'cos I need to lose 1kg to take me back to the right weight for my height.  I'll go for a wee and weigh myself considering I'm not having anything solid for breakfast so won't affect the weight of me.  I'll put it into the FitBit app then download the spreadsheet to put on my homepage.

First pills of the day taken, virus scan finished...

...watch charging up, first half a litre of water of the day almost finished, so I'm good to go for the rest of the day now.

Sunday 22 August 2021

That's the last two pills of the week, down the hatch...

...and for some bizarre reason, totally opposite to normal, I'm now more awake than I have been all day!

Do I risk starting a survey and potentially falling asleep half way through or do I just read Facebook until the side effects eventually kick in?

Given the tomatoes their final drink of the day

Just given the tomatoes their last drink of the day a couple of hours early, but I didn't want to forget and for them to die on me when we're so close to "harvesting" the first couple of them.

Considering we've had the back door open all day, as well as the living room window, I haven't suffered that badly with hayfever today, thankfully... maybe it was the rain we had yesterday that took the pollen out of the air or something?

Just done some last minute editing of the groceries

Just spotted a carrot cake on Facebook and mentioned it to Steve, so I went in to add it to the shop, at the expense of the grapes and Quorn pieces and I need another bottle of squash to take my pills with each day, so the final breakdown of tomorrow's shop now looks like this:

My stuff:  £6.34
Steve's stuff:  £23.44
Joint stuff:  £11.44

so Steve's stuff is £12 more expensive (ie more than double) than the joint stuff, yet again, and I'm having a major guilt trip about how expensive my stuff is too.  At least I've got some pop on this order for the first time this month though and haven't taken anything of mine off this time.

There won't be toilet rolls or lasagnes on the week after's shop though, so hopefully I'll be able to get the quorn pieces, fruit and pop that week instead.

That's the rubbish and food waste gone out and...

...the wild bird water was green again, so I sorted that out too.  My carer is totally zonked out and snoring his head off like a good'un, so I'm gonna go and grab another glass of water and make a start on the surveys that I've been invited to but haven't been able to do for a few days 'cos of doing the book reviews.


On track for hitting the 10 hours of care at 5.03pm and the 12 hours is looking pretty good to go too.  Doubt it'll be a 15 hour day after all 'cos that'd be gone 10pm tonight but my body needs an early-ish night tonight after being awake almost an hour earlier than normal this morning. 

That's my supplements bought for another year

I've just refilled my pill organiser for another week and re-ordered another year's worth of pills so that I don't forget and run out... it was about £20 cheaper than last year for some reason, so I triple-checked that I had a years supply of all four of 'em and I had, so Simply Supplements are even better value now than they were before!  It was only £55.37 for a years supply of all four of 'em but I was expecting to pay £75!

Their supplements are powerful too, 'cos I was on FA every day for 3 months while I was taking the Simply Supplement pills, then the next time I had a blood test to check my levels the FA was dropped down to three times a week then when I had my most recent prescription review a few months ago, I was told I only needed to take it twice a week!  The same with the vitamins B12 and D... since taking the Simply Supplements pills I don't have to have any more injections or pills to raise my levels of those either!  I'd love to know what my Calcium and Iron levels are like, but I'm guessing they are OK 'cos of taking those pills too!

6 hours and 10 minutes now

My carer has just made a start on our lunch and has cared for me for a grand total of 3 hours and 8 minutes for this entire week, so with cooking our lunch as well, it'll prolly be around 3½ hours, which is just over half of the hours that I've cared for him this morning alone.  My current weekly care of caring for my carer amounts to 70 hours and 18 minutes already, so 75 hours looks very likely before I head to bed tonight.  He's already admitted that he won't feel up to sorting out the rubbish and recycling after lunch, so he already knows that he'll be asleep all afternoon and evening.  Again.  So I've just sorted out the majority of it and taken it out - because my carer was struck by a surprise poo apparently.

I should be used to it by now I s'pose.


Book Review: "The Transgender Issue: An Argument for Justice" by Shon Faye


⭐ out of 5

If you've read any of my other relatively recent book reviews, you'll know how I start each of them by saying they all start off with the full five stars and that I hope the book finishes with them all in place too.  This review is no different in that respect.

It's on the Political Science & Ideology section of Amazon, so I'm wondering if it's gonna be shoving politics down my throat... I seriously hope not, but I'm already weary of it.  Gonna still read with an open mind, but if the author concentrates more on politics than people who are transgender then I'll be knocking a star off straight away.

Also, I'm wondering if there's a new trend to only publish as eBooks and Hardcovers as opposed to paperbacks now, 'cos this is the second book I've started reading in the last 24 hours that hasn't got a paperback available.

That's all beside the point now though, just random thoughts is all lol

The book *has* been semi-political so far, but it hasn't turned me off reading it - yet!  The author has been very clever to get their opinions out there about politics without saying "this is the only opinion out there that's right... everything else is wrong" which is refreshing so far.

*Now* it's getting more political, which is frustrating, so I'm knocking off the first star after only 6%.  It's not saying that one party is right and the other is wrong, or anything like that, but it's focussing on political policies rather than people who are transgender which is frustrating.  If it doesn't change pretty soon then I'll be skipping ahead and knocking off another star because of that... I hope I don't have to, but I'm really not enjoying this book right now.

Yup, the author is now talking about Teresa May and comparing her to David Cameron and the author seems to be making it more about their political views than supporting people who are transgender and increasing the understanding of those who want to learn more about those who are transgender, so that's another star coming off and I'm skipping forward... I hope it's not a book that I feel the need to skip more than I read!

OK, I've skipped forward to 15% and I hope that the rest of the book is less political!

OK, so now it's talking about a documentary and the resultant bullying of children who identified as transgender, so I'm hoping that's the end of the political stuff now.  it's a pity that I've already had to get rid of two stars and I'm not even a quarter of the way through the book yet... maybe I had my expectations set too high to start with?

Basic grammar point that even a child knows - if someone is speaking and you're putting it into text, then you use speech marks "like this", right?  I've lost track of if it's a person speaking or the author because there are so few speechmarks used and it's getting on my nerves now.  That third star is looking very wobbly right now, unfortunately.

There are inverted comma's signalling speech now, so maybe the earlier bits just slipped through accidentally and can be put down to human error?  The third star is still wobbly, but it's clinging on by its finger tips right now, so still 3 stars.

19% of the way through and it's returned to being heavily political opinions again, so I'm skipping forward even further... I was really hoping that this wouldn't be like that, but the further I feel forced to skip forward, the more and more it's looking like it is.

I've skipped forward to 25% and I'm really not feeling too positive about this book any more... I'm a quarter of the way through and I've skipped so much of it 'cos it's so political that I'm really not thinking I'll get to the end before I give up unfortunately... that third star is looking incredibly close to dropping off and the author isn't doing theirself any favours.

I've skipped even further forward to 35% and that third star is finally coming off because I'm skipping more than I'm reading.  If it had been considerably less political and quite frankly dull then I would have been happy to keep ploughing on, but this really isn't the book I'd been hoping for in those first pages.  There's only one star left to lose and I'm not even half way through it yet, so things are looking pretty bleak unfortunately.

That's more like it!  I'm 36% of the way through and it's mentioned something political but focussed on the people who are transgender more... as long as the rest of the book carries on like this, it'll be a 2 star review instead of the five I was hoping for when I first started reading it.

I'm at 39% now and there has been very little about politics and has got my attention fully instead of feeling that I have to skip so much of it.

I've skipped forward again through sheer boredom, so that's the final star coming off at 43%.  It was OK in parts, it's just not what I was expecting and the sheer politicalness of it has turned me right off unfortunately.  It's been more like the author's political views than anything more than brief mentions of people who are transgender.

This book is a single star review after less than half way unfortunately.

Beauty Review: Rituals body cream

I got this sample through the post a few days ago and couldn't wait to use it.  The dry skin from a burn that I got a couple of years ago was begging to be moisturised again... I usually use E45 on it but figured I'd use this sample instead and moisturise the rest of my thigh at the same time.  


The sample came in a small package and it didn't feel like there was much in there but I opened it with an open mind and squeezed a small amount onto my thigh, thinking that I'd have to use up the whole sachet on just that one thigh.

I was wrong.  That small amount covered my entire thigh by the time I'd rubbed it in, so I put another squeeze onto my other thigh too and that went in just as easily and for such a small amount it went a very long way.

I've got a pickable spot on each thigh, so I decided to risk moisturising those too, just in case it hurt my dry, burnt skin.  Within seconds the cream was gulped up by the spots and they started to look significantly more healed and the cream hadn't hurt at all, so I decided to risk using it on the dry skin around my burn... this would be the ultimate test for me.

I squeezed the last of the sachet onto the burnt skin and prepared to cry out in agony, but I was wrong about that too.  I carefully rubbed the cream into the skin and it instantly reduced the dry skin and stopped it being so dry and flaky and looks significantly less raw already now.

When I very first opened the sachet, I got the gorgeous scent of cherry immediately going up my nose... so far so good with the scent, but would it be so strong when I'd rubbed it in?  Would it be too overpowering?  Nope, the scent was just the right level so that I could tell there was something cherryey on my body, but it was just right so that my hubby didn't feel overwhelmed by the scent.

As long as it doesn't cost a bomb I'll definitely be getting it again!

Over 3 hours already this morning...

...and it's not even 9am yet, so I reckon it'll be at least 12 if not 15 hours of care for my carer today, yet apparently I do bugger all to care for him 🤷

I struggled to take a photo earlier on...

...it came out very blurry and shaky and I just wasn't happy with it, so I deleted it, came back in to recover and I've just been out to try again.


It's not the best photo in the world, but it's better than nothing:

One of 'em looks like it needs to be picked and eaten either today or tomorrow, a second one the day after that and there are a few that are just starting to ripen, so hopefully by the end of next week we'll be able to pick and eat those too.


They seem to be about ⅔ of the size you get in supermarkets, but one of them that is just starting to ripen is the size I was thinking they would be (in the photo it's just slightly off centre to the left) so that's gonna take a little bit longer 'cos it's so much bigger, but we will be able to start having the fruits of my labour very soon!


That's the tomatoes watered and...

...my morning pills down the hatch and the tomatoes watered, so time for the news now, then I can settle down to read more of the book.  Gotta go and make breakfast first though lol


Early mornin' all

According to my FitBit I was properly awake for the day at 4.41am and temporarily awake once overnight, which was at just gone 4am 'cos I looked at my watch and groaned lol


I've already cared for my carer for 53 minutes this morning and filled his empty pop bottle with water to try and encourage him to drink more today to see if that helps him to stay awake.  The FitBit app on my phone says that daytime sluggishness might be due to dehydration and that's certainly been the case for me, so we are experimenting today.  I doubt it'll be instant awake-ness if he gets through the bottle 'cos it's prolly been building up for weeks if not months, but after a little while, hopefully he'll notice the difference.


My daily virus scan didn't show any nasties so I'm gonna take my morning pills then go and make breakfast for my carer I reckon.  Gonna make a start on the news then carry on reading and reviewing the book this morning too.  It's Sunday, so we need to put our rubbish and recycling out at some point and I'll need to water the tomatoes first though!

Saturday 21 August 2021

Just taken my evening pills, and...

...I fancy an early night, so as soon as the side effects start kicking in I'm gonna head to bed.


I had high hopes for understanding and empathising with people who are transgender when I first started reading this book this morning (or was it afternoon??) but it's already down to 2 stars at only 39% of the way through, disappointingly.  I hope that star stays in place for the rest of the book, but without being pessimistic and based on what I've read so far, I doubt I'll get to half way before it drops off tomorrow. 

Just edited Monday's grocery order and...

...amazingly my drinks are still on there!


I took off one of the multipacks of orange juice (because we've still got a multipack left over in the fridge from this week's shop) and replaced them with Jaffa Cakes and crisps for Steve (which I can't have 'cos of the flavour of the Jaffa Cakes and the crisps aren't suitable for vegans) instead of hash browns for both of us, so the totals now look like this:


My stuff:  £5.35
Steve's stuff:  £20.44
Joint stuff:  £15.94

So yet again Steve's stuff is the majority of the order and is £5.50 more than the joint stuff, which is more difference than my entire part of the shop, yet he complains when something of his has to be taken off.  At least I'll be able to have pop again next week for the first time in 4 weeks though and I think it's been good for my body to have mainly water with just 2 bottles of pop a week, instead of a bottle every day...kinda a mini sugar detox kinda thing?

That's my afternoon pill...

...crunched up and swallowed, so now it's time for a quick check of my emails, then I can settle in to read this book too.  I enjoy days like this where I can just sit down and get lost in a different world so that I can forget about my own troubles for a while.

As I predicted this morning, I made lunch as well as breakfast.  T'was only a MugShot each, but at least it was something nutritious, rather than relying on my carer to be bothered to cook for the fourth time this week.  Apparently we're definitely having pasta 'n' sauce 'n' cheese tomorrow, but I won't be holding my breath.

Oooh! Another ARC to read and review!

NetGalley have just sent me information about another ARC that I've been pre-approved to read and review, so I'm gonna go and make Steve's lunch then settle down with another book to read and review, hopefully before the end of tomorrow... be on the lookout for the second review in as many days!  I've had 29 free books off 'em (including this one and another that I've reviewed and am just waiting for publication day) and there's no way I could have afforded to buy that many, so to get them for free in exchange for a review here on my blog, the appropriate site and Amazon is a fair and worthwhile exchange and agreement for me!


Book Review: "Listen: How to Find the Words for Tender Conversations" by Kathryn Mannix

Kindle version:  

Hardback version: 
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ out of 5

Like with every book I read and review, this one is starting off with the full 5 stars too and I'm hoping that it'll not only finish with those 5 stars, but I'll learn how to sugar-coat sensitive conversations too.

Let's get started!

OMG!  Where has the afternoon slipped away to?  I wrote that paragraph (and sentence) 69 pages ago and haven't stopped reading until now.  This is a fantastic book so far!

Done it again... currently at page 114 and I haven't even stopped for a drink or wee all afternoon which is soo unlike me!  lol  This is a serious must-read for everyone and still a very solid 5 stars.

Just 10 more chapters/sections/whatever they're called in non-fiction to go and I'll be able to put this review up.  For now though, I'm stopping reading for the night and I'll be back reading as soon as I can tomorrow.

I really am enjoying this book... I don't wanna say too much about it otherwise it'll spoil it, but it's a definite must-read, even for those who think they are great listeners already... I'm learning so much from this book and I'm so glad I was approved to read it in advance of it's publication.  I'm grateful to the publisher and to NetGalley for providing me with an ARC of this book in exchange for this review... I'm loving what I'm reading and can't recommend it highly enough to you all!

Oh boy, just read about death and now about grief... this is gonna be heavy and prolly upsetting, so make sure you've got plenty of tissues and support available before you read these bits!

One sentence, more than any other single sentence in this book, has just said everything I've been trying to say all my life but the sentence says "Surrounded by people but with no one to hear us can be a place lonelier than isolation." and it describes how I've felt my whole life!  I'm surrounded by friends who reach out to me when they need a bit of support that I'm more than happy to provide, but on the rare occasions I need support too, I'm totally alone.  For the last two years on Facebook I've had mini melt-downs each December but I've been told by people  I thought I could trust to "take it down and put it on your blog instead" then that's literally it for another year.  I've tried reaching out on a depression forum but nobody replied on there so I've tried reaching out to friends and I get less than a couple of sentences of support before it goes back to me supporting them.  If I did that to them they would call me selfish and break off our friendship.  I really am surrounded by people but with no support I really am feeling lonlier than complete isolation.

I'm currently sat here sobbing my heart out... the pages I've just read have been so understanding and it feels like they were talking straight to me.  Thank you to the author for those pages... they mean a lot to me.

Late morning this morning!

I'm usually awake and down here before 5.30am, but I didn't even wake up until 6.09am this morning!  Didn't wake up at 3am needing a wee either, despite drinking 500ml after I'd taken my pills, so that was a good surprise.

I've run the virus scan, made breakfast, taken my morning pills and was all prepared to go and water the tomatoes until Steve said it was raining, so the Green Man is watering them for me instead this morning.  I was then gonna make a start on the news, but there wasn't any, so I can make an early start on yesterday's book reading and reviewing... can't remember what it was about though, so I'll have to re-read the last couple of chapters to bring me back up to speed with what's been happening that I've forgotten.

Steve said he doesn't fancy doing the washing up "so it'll have to be MugShot's for lunch, sorry" so I'll be making both meals again today... Steve's cooked for us 3 times this week though, which is one more than normal, so I suppose I should be more understanding.

Friday 20 August 2021

Finished reading for the night now...

...so I'm gonna take my last two pills of the day and head to bed.  Based on yesterday, I'll be awake and desperate for a wee again before 3am though... I just hope that I fall back to sleep as quickly as I did this morning!


Gonna sign off for the night now, but I'll be back bright and early again in the morning.  Nite nite orl.


Sorry for the lack of posts this afternoon, but...

...I've been reading an awesome NF book that I've barely looked away from all afternoon!


I won't finish it tonight, but hopefully it'll be up at some point tomorrow... it's a solid 5 stars atm though, and a must-read by everyone!


Lunchtime curry photo on 20th August 2021

We've just had a huuuge lunch of vegetable curry and the chef (Steve lol) did too much again, but that's OK, he just needs to keep adjusting until he finds the right level in the mug is all.

Here's today's lunchtime photo:

It's all mixed in 'cos that's what we both do with our curries anyway, so might as well do it in the pan before it's dished up 🤷

News on 20th August 2021

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20th August 2021

What I learned from an unlikely friendship with an anti-masker

20 Times Little Mix Were Ultimate Friendship Goals

I dunno what I did to...

...make it work, but my FitBit app is working properly again now, for the first time in about 3 days, so I'm gonna finish charging it up (even though I only did it yesterday lol) then put it back around my ankle and carry on with the news.


Breakfast on 20th August 2021

Very nearly forgot to take this morning's photo!  That's why there's a granola-less part where the spoon is lol


Mornin' all

How are you all doing today?


My FitBit app still isn't syncing, so I'm removing it then hopefully getting it re-paired to see if that works, if not then I'll see if there's an update to the app and if that doesn't work I'll contact FitBit support.  They were fantastic last time and they know their devices better than me after all!


I remembered to charge up my watch and take my pills this morning and I've got my third glass of water on the go atm, which is 1.5 litres in about 2¼ hours.


I've cared for my carer for over 2 hours already too, so it's gonna be another mammoth day of caring and I bet he won't want to do the curry for lunch, despite agreeing to it before I put it on this weeks menu and has agreed a few times since then too. 

Time to make a start on the news now I reckon, while I'm waiting for things to go wrong with my FitBit!

Nope, he's just woken up, so I'd best go and do his breakfast now - might water the tomatoes while he's in the bathroom first though.


Thursday 19 August 2021

I've pased today's caring target and...

...I've just taken my last two pills - one of 'em jumped out of the packet though and I had to get my carer to help me to find it when he came back from his wee, so that's another minute or so of caring for me today and I'm currently at 10 hours 23 minutes of care for him today, so we'll see if either of us care for one another before I head to bed.  I'm glad we got to over 10 hours again today and we're at 40 hours 40 minutes of care for the week, which my OCD is happy with, so if I don't care for my carer any more tonight then I'm OK with that.

Prolly won't post again tonight, so I'll say nite nite to you all now and I'll see you at some point in the morning.