Pills have been swallowed and washed down with squash, my music is off until the morning, everything is closed down so I'm gonna have a very early night tonight and I'll see you all on the other side of NaNo.
Nite nite orl.
...evening pills 25 minutes early and as soon as the melty one has melted and I've washed down the bits, I'm gonna head straight off to bed ready for the first early start (and no caring) of November at about 4.45am tomorrow.
I'm hoping I'll write the final word somewhere between the 8th and 10th, but I won't be posting on here until I've written the final word, then it'll take a little while to get back to reality then I'll carry on blogging again until December 31st when it all starts all over again.
Look after yourselves and each other while I'm not here and I'll see you on the other side of NaNo.
...as many meals made by me today as I had meals made for him in the whole of last week (I've made his breakfast and tea today and he made my lunch on Wednesday and Saturday last week). They are the last meals I'm making until I've finished writing though, so if he misses a meal then he's got no-one to blame but himself. Every lunch he doesn't cook means an extra day that I don't get to eat anything though... if he cooks every day, I'll get my first meal in November on the 14th but every one that he misses will be an extra day that I don't eat and could potentially mean that I don't get to eat until December if it's like it was last week and he only cooks twice a week, which is far from healthy, but that obviously doesn't matter to Steve.
...totals for tomorrow's groceries look like this:
My stuff: £0.00
Steve's stuff: £46.69
Joint stuff: £7.98
So Steve's stuff is £38.71 more expensive than the stuff for both of us and I've got precisely nothing on the order for myself despite me being the one to pay for it all.
I'm making a prediction right now, at 3.47pm, that very little of the food will be eaten and will be left until next week, then next week's stuff won't be eaten, so it'll be 3 weeks before I get anything other than water in my stomach despite Steve's promises that tomorrow and next week's order will all be eaten before I finish writing, despite the menus not having anything for me on until the 14th. I'm making a second prediction, at 3.50pm, that I won't even be able to drink water because the washing up won't be done, so I won't even be able to hydrate myself each day I go without food either.
Far from healthy, but it's normal for us now, that as long as Steve gets what he wants, when he wants then I can fuck right off <shrug>
This is my last meal until at least the second week of November (as long as Steve's got through his mountain of meat that's coming tomorrow of course - possibly even longer if he doesn't have at least one meat meal a day between tomorrow and the 13th) - t'was a very yummy vegetarian spaghetti bolognaise that went down a treat after only eating 3 times (as in 1 breakfast and 2 lunches) last week
You can probably guess whose is whose plate in todays lunch comparison photo lol
This is my last meal for at least 2 weeks (my next lunch is on 14th November as long as I can persuade my carer to cook that day of course) but I'll hopefully have been able to have 3 breakfasts by then. If my carer hasn't got through his meat mountain that's due tomorrow, it'll be even longer before I have lunch, but I'm trying to remain hopeful that he'll stick to the menu he's created for himself so that I can have my first lunch of November on the 14th. I ate 3 times last week and lost almost 1.5kg so I reckon it'll be close to 3kg that I've lost before I'm allowed to eat again, which'll make me underweight, but that doesn't seem to matter to Steve as long as he eats 3 meals and multiple snacks every day. Tonight will be the last meal I make for him until I've finished NaNo so I'm hoping that he rapidly realises just how often I make his meals for him.
I won't even be allowed to have my go-to meal to rapidly increase my weight of bread and dairy-free spread 'cos I've gotta save the bread for Steve's sandwiches now too, so basically I'll be underweight and losing until the middle of January at the earliest now, but that doesn't seem to matter, right Steve?
Here's today's comparison photo for my last meal until the second week of November:
...the first and last time in at least 14 days (or more if Steve decides against cooking his meat any day in that same amount of time) and it's veggie spaghetti bolognaise so it'll really fill me up and get me started on my two weeks of not being allowed to eat (I'll be totally reliant on my only 5 packets of crisps for the first two weeks of November) while Steve eats 3 meals and multiple snacks every day.
There will hopefully be a photo of it as long as I remember to take it before digging in to my first meal since Saturday lunchtime and Wednesday before that when I had breakfast too.
...when I post my goodnight post tonight, it'll prolly be my last one for 8-10 days so that I can concentrate on my writing and hopefully winning NaNo.
My carer has already told me that he won't be bringing in the rubbish and recycling containers next week and I won't be taking them out on Sunday, so my carer is already refusing to care for me on 2 of the 4 days I need him to in November (the other two days are tomorrow and next Tuesday to bring in and put away all his groceries because there won't be anything for me in either delivery). Well tough shit, Steve, if you don't bring in and put away your shopping then you owe me £105 for the two weeks of groceries that you waste and I won't be reminding you to take out or bring in the rubbish and recycling either - it's entirely up to you for 10 days twice a year when I do it the other 345 days a year.
How are you all doing this morning?
I've just done my weekly weigh-in and because I only ate 3 times last week I've lost 1.5kg which means I'm now only 550g over my ideal weight, so I'll be right at the bottom of the healthy weight range for my height in 7 days time 'cos my only calories will come from my hopefully daily J2O's and because Steve'll still be chomping his way through tomorrow's meat-mountain the week after, I'll be underweight then so I'll have to work even harder to gain weight. At best I'll be eating once this week (today's lunch) and I won't even be able to get calories from drinking chocolates after today, so I'll be living on water and once-a-day J2O's again at best. Thanks Steve 😠
I'd best go and make my carer's breakfast for him now, while the virus scan is running, then take my pills and try to stop my belly from rumbling.
...if I can stay awake and down here until 7.40pm, I'll have just about scraped through the 80 hours. My body gets to tell me what time to go to bed tonight though, so if it wants to go to bed sooner than that, then it's totally OK with me.
...about hitting the 80 hours after all now, 'cos I've still gotta put in an hour and 18 minutes to achieve it and my carer still has to eat his tea, so even if he falls asleep straight after he finishes eating, it'll still be 7.30pm at the very earliest to hit it... it might just be doable, but just by the skin of its teeth for a change, rather than easily like most other weeks. I'm well over double time but nowhere near as comfortably as I'd like.
...I might just about scrape through 80 hours after all - certainly not much more than that though.
With just under 7 hours to go, my carer is 33 hours and 52 minutes short of the minimum which is more than usual by about an hour or so. Next week is the ideal opportunity to put in 5 hour days 'cos the only time I'll move is to go for wee's and my celebratory J2O but I don't reckon I'll even get two hours out of him all week combined 'cos he won't be cooking for me which is about half an hour each meal and drinks are a maximum of 10 minutes each, so he'd have to make me 6 every hour which ain't gonna happen in reality. At best I reckon I'll get one or two drinks out of him every day, so less than half an hour a day and I can't see him doing it after lunch on the first day, so I'll get maybe one or two hot drinks for the entire week which is a maximum of 20 minutes.
It'll be interesting to see what he does on Tuesday though, 'cos I'm not bringing the bags in or putting the groceries away so I'm making two predictions at 5.12pm - the first is that he'll whine like a baby about having to take the bags through and deliberately stack them so that he can't move then when the bags are taken through to the kitchen he'll need a wee and everything will be left in the middle of the floor melting and going off which will be my fault of course, same as always.
It's less than 20 days a year that I have off so he'll just have to put up and shut up for 2 days like I do throughout the year.
...I'll hit 80 hours this week 'cos that'd be past my bedtime tonight, but I've already doubled the minimum required, so that's OK considering my so-called carer has only managed 1 hour and 8 minutes this week too... maybe we just haven't needed as much support as usual is all? Next week and most of the week after will be negligible amounts for both of us 'cos of NaNo but it'll be interesting to see if my carer cares enough to even remember to fill in the spreadsheet, let alone care for me for 5 hours a day. I'm not gonna be making any meals at all until I've finished writing, so I'm assuming I'll have lost a couple of kilo's before Steve's got through his meat mountain and I'm allowed to eat again. Apparently "you're definitely eating tomorrow 'cos it's spag bol" but like with the other 5 days this week, I won't believe it until it's in front of me <shrug>
...sleeping off his second meal of the day and I haven't eaten anything solid for 26 hours.
The rubbish and recycling are outside and I've got my third drinking chocolate of the day so those, the black tea I had for breakfast and the multivitamin tea I had for lunch add up to just over 700 calories. Steve's already eaten about 2,000 calories today (from his breakfast, crisps, biscuits, cookies and drinks) and his tea will be another 3,500 (because of the dairy free spread being 530 calories per slice of bread and he'll have four slices of bread, spread, meat, mustard, crisps and cookies for his tea) and still have room for biscuits before I'm allowed to go to bed. He has more calories in 2-3 days than I have for an entire week.
I've emailed him to ask him to keep a log of what he does to care for/support me during November and I've asked him to put any questions into an email for me... I'm predicting right now, a 2.53pm, that he'll conveniently come up with an excuse not to do it yet again. To give credit where it's due, he managed it for 2 weeks back in June and only managed to provide 440 minutes (ie 7 hours and 20 minutes) of care both weeks combined instead of doing that in a day and a half. It'll be interesting to see what he comes up with for November, if anything at all. I've already provided him with over 8 hours of care today which is at least 8 times more than what he's managed all week combined. Apparently he's my carer and "do[es] everything for her" though <shrug>
...I've made my carer's meal for him and he hasn't made any of mine. I can pretty much guarantee that I'll be making his tea for him too so that'll be 18-2 to me for this week and we won't be having our Sunday treat 'cos Steve decided to have a take-away a couple of days ago, so I'm even missing the calories from that.
I reckon it'll be under 500 calories for me for the entire day because of it being a purely liquid day again which is far from healthy, but not to worry eh Steve - as long as you eat and drink whenever you fancy it then I can sod right off eh?
Just had the reminder come up for my lunchtime pill, so I'm gonna take that then refill my dosette box while Steve finishes his second meal of the day, then take the rubbish and recycling out.
I totally forgot to take Steve's sausages out of the freezer yesterday so I've offered him mine instead and he said he doesn't want them "because they are piddly little things and I want my big sausages" so he's eating three meals again today and yet again I'm going hungry. By the time it gets to me crawling into bed tonight, he'll have eaten 21 meals and I'll have eaten 3 this week. I haven't got any more biscuits left either, so it really will be a liquids only day today for me... good preparation for NaNo though, I suppose, 'cos I'll be living on liquids for 13 days so that Steve can get through his meat stock-pile that's coming on Tuesday. As long as he eats, that's all that matters, right?
...I'm missing my 15th meal of the week.
Steve hasn't missed a single one.
I've made 15 meals for Steve and he's made 2 for me.
I've made 25 hot drinks for Steve, he's made none for me.
He's eaten 19 times this week, I've eaten 3.
Apparently he makes all my meals and drinks for me though <shrug>
Did the UK readers remember to turn their clocks back so that they could get the extra hour of sleep?
I'm freezing cold this morning, but Steve won't turn the heating on until it's deep snow outside otherwise he'll be hot, so yet again it's all what he wants.
I've already drunk a litre of cream soda this morning 'cos I won't be able to have breakfast again after I've made Steve's and it'll be a very small lunch today 'cos I bet Steve'll want most of the chips and maybe the veg, so I'll be left with 3 vegetarian sausages for my lunch while he has 8 sausages (yep, totally serious), a plateful of chips and at least ¾ of the veg and I'll be left with 3 sausages and at best a few forkfuls of veg... he had the entire bag of onion rings though, so I'm thinking that the 3 sausages are gonna be the majority of my lunch and anything else will be a bonus.
I bet I'll be putting the rubbish and recycling out while Steve sleeps off his lunch this afternoon too, same as usual.
I'd best go and get Steve's first meal of the day for him now, hadn't I?
Just had the reminder to take my morning pills come up, so I'll take those first I reckon.
Gotta remember to fill my dosette box up after lunch too!
...21 minutes to go to hit 12 hours of support for my carer today now that he's got his tea.
I'm not going to have a late night tonight after yesterdays very late one, so as soon as my carer has finished eating and I've finished my cream soda, I'm gonna head straight to bed tonight.
I really enjoyed today's meal of penne pasta, tomato and garlic sauce and vegetarian "chicken" bits. My stomach is now going "what the...?" but it's my first proper meal since Wednesday, so I've got a lot of calories to replace lol
Just had our lunch and I decided to take another comparison photo - which is whose do you reckon?
Answer below the photo:
If you said the one on the left was mine, you'd be wrong for a very rare change 'cos I was the pig today and mine was, as always, on the right.
I'm bloated and full of wind now, but at least I'm not hungry any more, for the first time since Wednesday.
...I'm still clear of nasty things, which is always a relief.
I'm under half an hour away from putting in the daily minimum already so it should be a pretty easy 12 or even approaching 13 hour day of support for my carer today and he hasn't even provided a single hour all week combined, so he needs to provide 34 hours and 15 minutes of care before midnight tomorrow, which just ain't gonna happen 'cos he spends 10 hours (minimum) asleep during the day and another 8-10 hours asleep at night too, so there's no way he's gonna be able to provide the minimum required when he'll be asleep for at least 30 hours of the 37½ hours that are left in the week and I'll have doubled the minimum by tonight.
His mum has just called and woken him up so I'm using the opportunity of him being awake to do the maffs on the spreadsheet and it should be about 70 hours by the time I'm allowed to crawl up to bed tonight and low 80's by tomorrow night. Not the most ever but certainly more than it'll be for the first 10-ish days of November.
Apparently I've got "a lorry-load of [home-made] butternut squash soup" coming so I'll be able to get a few more calories into me when I've finished writing and Steve's still ploughing through all the meat that's coming on Tuesday.
I've definitely got my first cold of the year 'cos I've been sneezing and waking up my carer each time since I woke up, which is just what I don't need.
I've taken my morning pills and made a hot drink for Steve that he put on one of his tables and promptly fell asleep, so I'm predicting right now, at 6.41am that I won't be having a proper lunch for the 5th day this week, despite Steve's determination and promises yesterday that he'd definitely cook today. I'm making an additional prediction, at 6.43am that today will be a purely liquids day 'cos I stupidly finished off the biscuits yesterday. I've just remembered about my vegan cookies though, so that's lunch sorted if my carer doesn't fancy cooking for the 5th time this week... apparently he makes all my meals though <shrug>
NaNo is gonna be the ideal opportunity for Steve to put in 5 hours of care every day 'cos I won't be making any of the meals or drinks, so in theory he'll be able to get credit for doing that for me... in reality though, it'll be purely liquids for literally the first 2 weeks of November 'cos of Steve's meat-filled delivery on Tuesday and the menu we've come up with that takes 2 weeks to finally get rid of it all. In theory, starting on Tuesday, Steve'll be eating 42 meals and I'll be eating 0 with my only calories coming from ideally hot chocolates and 1 J2O a day but it remains to be seen if I get anything at all other than water and the J2O if I've earnt it.
Not sure if I'll hit the 35 hours of care per week while I'm writing, but it's only 20 days a year that I have off from caring for my carer for 2½ the minimum so I'm not too worried - especially as I don't even get the 35 hours in half the year, let alone each week.
Have I said that I've taken my morning pills?
Woops! I forgot to publish this over 2 hours ago!
Let's see what I've been up to:
I've managed to do some writerly stuff after last night, thanks to the notes I took and I've asked for feedback on it. I've published my Facebook memories and I've just made my carer's breakfast for him along with my second hot drink of the day, so I've got at least 330 calories into me if Steve decides against cooking yet again today.
He's almost finished his breakfast (as in he's scraping the bottom of the bowl) so I'm gonna publish before I forget again, then keep caring for my carer until lunchtime.
I've just started my daily virus scan almost 3 hours after getting up too lol
Just finished the online thing and I got soooo much from it! I've got a busy weekend ahead of me, putting all the information into a better package than I've currently got, which'll hopefully bag me what I want next year.
I've just taken my pills (still at 100% for the week so far) and I'm going to bed PDQ otherwise I'll be a right grumpy cow in the morning, but I'm hoping I'll wake up later on than I usually do too... 5am isn't such a good time to start the day every day after all lol
Nite nite orl.
...spot on again and pretty much word for word too. Apparently it's my fault that I haven't eaten anything (other than 10 biscuits) today and it's my fault that I'm not having any tea - if I have anything now, then it'll be about 2am before I can safely lay down without feeling sick, then I'll have to be up with a clear head, cheery mood and well-rested body ready to support my carer at 5am again tomorrow. Apparently we're definitely having a proper lunch tomorrow because "I get worried about how little you eat sometimes" but he's always known the rules for my cut-off times and I can't eat later than that otherwise I start throwing up.
By the time the take-away arrives, Steve will have eaten 3 full meals today which is more than I've had for the entire week combined. I wish I was over-exagerating but I had breakfast and lunch on Wednesday and I've been picking at crisps (yesterday) and biscuits for the meals that I've missed during the rest of the week.
Apparently he "make[s] all her meals and drinks for her" though <shrug>
This week has been good preparation for the first two weeks of November when Steve'll be chomping down on meat day after day and I'll be left with literally nothing except water and J2O's again, unless he decides that he'll keep this morning's promise of making me endless drinks, which I honestly can't see happening at all 'cos he hasn't done it for the last 11 years, so why should this year be any different?
...4 chocolate biscuits for me and Steve had, as I think I predicted this morning, the entire package of onion rings (37 of 'em - yep I counted - and 1 serving is 3, so he had over 12 servings and I had none). I'm predicting that I'll be on drinks duty between Steve sleeping this afternoon, but I don't reckon I'll even get to 1,000 calories today and Steve's already well past that without his tea. Apparently "we're having Subway [for tea] so that M doesn't have to get me any more meat at the weekend" and I'm predicting now, at 1.13pm, that Steve'll decide to order it when it's too late for me to eat, so the only solids in my belly today will be 10 biscuits.
His mum is on the phone to him now and apparently he doesn't need any more meat, so we/he is definitely having the Subway for tea, so he'll have to order it by 3pm for me to be able to have anything solid and it's already gone 1pm and he's only just had his lunch, so I can't see him wanting "a big pig-out of at least two foot-longers and crisps and cookies and drinks and stuff" like he wanted this morning.
So, so far today the food and drinks that each of us consumed look like this:
Me: 2 coffees, 1 drinking chocolate and 10 biscuits.
Steve: 1 big bowl of Bran Flakes, 2 coffees, 1 drinking chocolate, about a litre of cola, 17 biscuits, a packet of crisps, a can of cherryade and 37 onion rings covered in salt and brown sauce.
Let's assume that Steve'll want the Subway before the 3pm cut-off time for me, the order will look something like this:
Me: Salad, 2 vegan cookies, 2 x 500ml bottles of pop
Steve: 2 x foot-long subs, possibly a wrap, possibly a salad, 9 x hash browns and/or large wedges, 9 x chicken bites, 12 x cookies, 2 x muffins and 2 x 1.5 litre bottles of pop.
No, I'm not joking or overexaggerating (I wish I was), that's a standard order for both of us. My part of the order will last me until bedtime tomorrow (with the drinks going into the fridge) and Steve's will have pretty much been devoured entirely by the time I come downstairs tomorrow morning - at best there will be 3 cookies left which he'll have either before or after his breakfast and I'll have my 2 cookies for breakfast (or lunch if Steve doesn't fancy cooking again).
People wonder why he's obese and I find it so easy to lose weight - the last 36 hours are a pretty standard example of what our meals are like. I've made 13 of Steve's 14 meals so far this week and I've eaten two meals so far in the same amount of time. Nobody believes me though <shrug>
...after Monday, I won't be eating anything until 14th November at the very earliest, even though I will, potentially, finish writing at the start of the week before and almost definitely by the end of that week, but Steve's getting so much meat on Tuesday that it'll take at least 2 weeks to finish eating it all and it doesn't seem to matter that I'll be going hungry. It's looking like my only calories will come from liquids for the first two weeks of November so I doubt I'll even make it to 500 calories a day, let alone the 1400 my FitBit says I need to function each day.
Good job that I'm 1.5kg overweight to start with, innit.
Time to go and make lunch... will I get to eat or will I have to miss my 4th meal (out of 4) in 2 days?
Steve's just said, and I quote, "when you're writing [next week] will you want a pretty much constant stream of hot drinks?" so of course I said yes, but it sounds like he might actually make me hot drinks next week for the first time in several years!
I'm trying not to get my hopes up, but if he does make me hot drinks while I'm writing, then there's a chance that I might even get 5 hours of care out of him for those 2 weeks!
I just hope I'm allowed some lunch now, but based on how hungry my carer says he is, he'll be having the entire package of onion rings all to himself. I can't even have toast to increase my calories 'cos I need to save the bread for Steve's sandwiches, so it looks like todays calories will be entirely from biscuits and hot drinks... assuming Steve wants any of course.
He's finished his breakfast now, so I've gotta take his bowl out and potentially get his first hot drink of the day that he'll let go cold.
How's you all doing this morning?
So far this morning I've set my monthly virus scan running, taken my morning pills and cared for my carer for 43 minutes which is one minute away from what he's provided for me over the last 4 days (he's provided 44 minutes if I remember correctly). It's 44 minutes now so I've supported him for the same length of time in less than an hour (since I came downstairs) as he's provided for me in 4 days.
I wasn't allowed to go to bed until 8pm again, but still managed 8 hours and 49 minutes of sleep, according to my FitBit, so that's OK.
It took about double the amount of squash to get my pills down my neck this morning, which was frustrating and means I'll be stumbling backwards and forwards to the bathroom until I get my breakfast inside me now this morning.
My carer wants his breakfast "in a minute" so I'd best publish this and go and make it for him.
...my carer has cared for BOTH of us (doing the washing up twice, bagging up and kinda helping to put away the groceries and making one meal) for less than ⅒ of the time that I've cared for just him so far this week. He's spent 3 minutes caring just for me when he made and brought in a bottle of squash for me but that's literally the extent of his support so far this week.
I'm not gonna get ratty about it so close to him coming home 'cos he'll want to talk about his medical appointment while I'm putting the top-up shop from his mum away and then I'll have to make him a drink, then his third meal of the day and keep supporting him until I'm finally allowed to crawl into bed again.
Woops! Forgot to publish this! Sorry about that!
Steve's now home, talked about his appointment and been fed, so I'm just 31 minutes short of the 10 hours now which I'm hoping to squeeze in before I head to bed tonight, but I'm not gonna take any risks tonight - my health comes first for a change.
...put in 2 hours and 4 minutes of support when Steve gets home to hit another 10 hours today, doubt it'll be much more than 10 hours today, just like it isn't most Thursdays, but that's OK 'cos I'm already well over the minimum required at 40 hours and 10 minutes this week, so 80 hours should be pretty easy, maybe even approaching 85 hours this week when my carer hasn't even managed 45 minutes yet this week.
I've just had the call from the pharmacist though and it was good news so I can now breathe a huge sigh of relief.
...100% of pills taken at the right time and at the right doseage so far. It's rare that I get to a Thursday afternoon with that happening! I usually remember my prescriptions (thankfully) but it's rare that I've remembered each of my lunchtime pills by now!
...I've already cared for my carer for 115 minutes this morning, so there is only 2 hours and 45 minutes to go before I hit the minimum required and I've already almost tripled what Steve's done all week combined.
He's gone to get washed at the kitchen sink ready for his medical appointment at around 5pm and I haven't washed myself for 13 days and it's gonna be even longer than that, potentially until the middle of November at the very earliest, before I next get showered or bathed using, at best, tepid water because Steve's used all the hot water in the emersion heater, despite me asking him not to multiple times. I think I'm just gonna boil the kettle a few times to fill the bath up with next time so that I'm not left shivering after I've got into the bath... frustrating and dangerous because of the temperature of the water in the kettle, but better that than risking hypothermia, right?
How's things for you all this morning?
So far today I've made Steve's breakfast for him then taken his bowl out and just generally cared for my carer for 105 minutes so far this morning, which is more than he's supported me all week combined (44 minutes). We've both got medical appointments today, so I'll be making 100% of the meals again today and doubt I'll be safe enough to make anything for myself when I've made Steve's instant soup for him, so it looks like today's meals will be the half a pot of dry-roasted peanuts I had for my breakfast and 4 biscuits for lunch. Steve's eaten 10 proper meals so far this week (I made 9 of 'em) and I've had 2 - yesterday's breakfast and lunch.
I've taken my morning pills and I've remembered to take 100% of them so far this week! Yay me!
Time to go and make the first hot drink of the day now I reckon. I can't remember the last time Steve made one for me and he usually has literally one or two sips of the ones I make for him, then he falls asleep, which is frustrating, but I have to keep doing it otherwise he'll whine like a baby about how thirsty he is, so I have to make a fresh drink for him every time he wakes up.
Almost forgot about the virus scan... hopefully it'll be reassuringly clear again today, but you can't be too careful with these things I don't reckon - better safe than sorry and all that jazz.
I'm about to log off for the night now, but I'll be back again for an anxious morning, even though there's nothing to be nervous about - they can only say yes or no and I won't have lost anything by asking, but the pills that my body prefers if they say yes!
Nite nite orl.
...I've taken each pill at the right time and the right dose every day so far this week, which hasn't happened in a very long time, so I'm bound to miss at least one pill (prolly the lunchtime one, going from past experiences) tomorrow now 😐
I'm all dosed up for the day and Steve's currently eating his third meal of the day, so I've just gotta wait for him to finish his other 2 and his 30 cocktail sausages, crisps and biscuits, then I can take it all out to the kitchen and hopefully have an early night tonight. It's looking like it'll only be an 11 hour day today, but that's OK 'cos it's still more than double the daily minimum of 5 hours. Steve's clocked up 39 minutes of care so far this week and he'll prolly only cook once more (on Saturday) this week, so I reckon it'll be a well under 2 hour week from him and I usually put that in by about 8am every day!
He's got half a sandwich left to eat now, so I'm gonna publish this blog post now so that I can take the empty plate out straight away before he falls asleep and knocks it off the arm of his chair.
I've got a medical appointment over the phone tomorrow afternoon and Steve's got someone calling about the mortgage too, so I hope my prescriptions aren't delivered while we're both on the phone otherwise it'll be a wasted trip lol
I was wrong to doubt Steve this morning and it's my fault that there's so much pasta 'cos I was the one who got it out of the tub this time lol
We had (far too much) penne pasta, roasted vegetable pasta sauce, vegetarian "chicken" bits and a bonus bit of veg too! Steve suggested it and I wasn't gonna turn down the opportunity to get more nutritional goodies into both of us!
Here's today's two photos:
That's me sorted for another week 'cos the backups have just finished which means that if my carer is still up for cooking for the first time this week, we can have a late lunch at lunchtime after all. He's gotta wake up and get out of dreamland first though!
...it will be a late lunch after all 'cos I've just been blue-screened so am having to start my backups from scratch again. Knew it was too good to be true that I'd be able to have a cooked lunch at a sensible time today!
The same study has found that the side effects I got from the Pfizer (my 3rd jab) and Moderna (my 4th jab) show that they are positives too for the same reason... maybe my swollen upper arm from the most recent (Moderna) jab was a positive side effect to have as well, rather than a human woopsie either by me or the nurse who did it like I thought?
I'm sure I whined like a baby after I had my first two Covid jabs because I felt so sick for so long yeah?
Welp, apparently a study in America has shown that if you get nausea after your jab then that's a positive sign and shows that your antibodies are working or something, so I think I can forgive my body for reacting so badly to the first two of my jabs and maybe I should've been praising OAZ instead of bitching and whining about them quite so much?
Just my usual breakfast of Tropical fruits granola and soya milk today. Steve's promised that he'll make lunch today, so I hope that's right 'cos I haven't had a proper home-cooked lunch in my belly since 23rd October and this is my first proper meal since then 'cos literally all I've eaten so far this week is 2 slices of toast, 2 Yum Yums and 2 mince pies before today, all made by me! Apparently my carer makes all my meals and drinks for me though <shrug>
Here's today's breakfast photo:
How are you all doing this morning?
I think I've worked out why my FitBit app wasn't working last night - they were stopping something or other on the 13th but mine carried on working, so I didn't think I had it on my FitBit, but I must have done 'cos it still isn't working this morning and I tried everything to get the Bluetooth thing to work last night, so maybe it was just taking longer than they expected and it was my turn yesterday? It's frustrating, but I'm glad they gave me some warning about it happening at the start of October so that I didn't get flustered about it.
I've taken my morning pills so I'm all set until lunchtime now. I'm hoping that Steve'll feel like cooking today, otherwise I'll be living on 4 biscuits all day which are considerably lower calorie than yesterday's mince pies!
He's gone for his "third wee since 4am" and brought my bottle of squash through for me, so his caring total for the week so far stands at 16 minutes and mine is over 26 hours by the time I was allowed to go to bed last night.
I've remembered not to open my emails 'cos of the weekly virus scan and now that Steve's awake, he'll be wanting his first meal of the day and a hot drink, so I'd best go and make them both for him. I'm going to have breakfast this morning too, so that I can get a couple of hundred calories and save the biscuits potentially for my lunch.
...to put in another 10 hours between now and Sunday to hit the minimum. I've already supported my carer for over 11 hours today and the running total of the week so far is nearly 25 hours after only 2 days, so it's gonna be a high support week this week. I don't reckon I'll get much over an hour's support in total before Sunday from my so-called carer, despite telling anyone who asks that he does well over the minimum required which is total and utter codswollop and I've got proof to back up my claims, unlike my carer.
Should be a pretty easy 12 hour day today, cos I've only gotta put in another 38 minutes to hit that and my carer is snoring away so he's deeply asleep and it'll take him a little while to fully wake up and come out of dreamland 'cos it's such a deep sleep atm.
I'd best take my last pills of the day now then wait for the side effects to kick in. I was only restless twice last night and it was very soon after I fell asleep according to my FitBit info, so we shall see what it says about my sleep tonight when I wake up tomorrow.
We were supposed to be having pasta, sauce and vegetarian "chicken" pieces for lunch today, but Steve decided against cooking pretty early on this morning so I made him his 5th meal in 2 days and finished off Sunday's delivery of vegan mince pies for my lunch. He's promised that we'll have today's lunch tomorrow after my virus scan and backups have finished, but I'm not holding my breath. I've got half a packet of biscuits that I can have tomorrow if Steve decides not to cook for the third day on the trot, then it's instant soup on Thursday so I'll definitely be missing both meals that day too, which takes us to Friday and potentially the only meal my carer (aka my hubby, Steve) will cook this week. I'm not holding my breath though 😞
Here's today's lunch photo:
...I've made 5 of Steve's meals and he's made 0 for me.
I've made him 7 drinks and he's made 0 for me.
I've cared for him for 19 hours and 8 minutes and he's cared for both of us (doing the washing up and kinda putting the groceries away this morning) for 13 minutes.
He's had breakfast this morning and I haven't.
He's had 9 biscuits for a mid-morning snack and I haven't
He's having 4 slices of heavily spreaded toast, a sharing bag of Doritoes and 3 mince pies for his lunch and I'm left with 2 mince pies for mine.
He's already said that he'll be snoozing this afternoon away so it looks like I'm putting in another 12-13 hour day again and Steve won't even manage 15 minutes in 2 days.
I'm already over half way to the minimum required for the week after 2 days and Steve is yet to hit 15 minutes total for the week, so he's still got the best part of 10 hours to make up in the next 5½ days on top of the 5 hours a day minimum to just about scrape through the minimum required.
He's finished his toast now, so I'd best take his plate out before he falls asleep for this afternoon.
...or was it this morning, we're not having a proper lunch again, just the same as we had yesterday and today's things have been moved to "a later lunch tomorrow" instead, so I'll be having 2 slices of toast and 2 mince pies and Steve'll be having 4 slices of toast, 3 mince pies, a sharing packet of crisps all to himself (like usual) and an entire packet of biscuits to himself (like usual) for lunch today.
Not at all happy about it, but I'm used to it now.
I'm predicting that he'll find an excuse not to cook tomorrow afternoon either and will want a MugShot for lunch instead, so I'll have made 9 meals for him by the time I go to bed tomorrow and he won't have made any for me. It'll be the same on Thursday 'cos of his regular medical appointment so he'll just want a mug of instant soup, which'll take the tally up to 12 meals by me and none by him. Friday is onion rings, prolly made by me which takes it up to 15-0 to me. Saturday is potentially the only lunch he'll make this week but I'll still make his breakfast and tea, which makes it 17-1 by the time I head to bed on Saturday. Sunday is potentially another lunch made by me, with Steve just helping to dish up when it's all cooked so it'll be 20-1 to me by the time I head to bed on Sunday... apparently he "make[s] all her meals and drinks for her" though, which is utter bullshit 'cos he hasn't made a single drink for me this year (other than the squashes so that I can take my pills) and only cooks a maximum of 3 times on a very good week.
Apparently he's the carer though <shrug>
Just had the email come through with the substitutions and stuff on... Steve's soap was 'unavailable' but everything else was there, so I've got 6 packets of crisps and todays final breakdown looks like this:
My stuff: £6.54
Steve's stuff: £24.70
Joint stuff: £14.99
So Steve's stuff is the most expensive by just under a tenner and over half of the entire order... again. It's considerably better than some weeks though!
How are you all doing this morning?
I've definitely got my first cold of the year brewing 'cos I keep sneezing and it ain't hayfever... I just hope that it isn't too bad and that I can get over the worst of it in a week 'cos I really don't wanna feel cruddy while I'm trying to write my next bestseller next week and the week after.
I've already taken my morning pills and cared for my carer for over an hour this morning. He's in the bathroom "then I'll do the washing up, wash myself then I'll have my breakfast" apparently.
Our groceries are due for delivery this morning, so we shall see what the substitutions are like when I get the email. I'm hoping that my 6 packets of crisps are in stock so that I can have those for my lunch during NaNo while Steve's eating full, proper, meaty meals every day. I won't be making his breakfast or tea for him until I've finished NaNo so he'll have to either do it all himself or go hungry. I'm fine either way but I only get about 20 days off a year so he'll just have to hope that he can motivate himself to eat for those days otherwise we'll be stuck with a fridge and 2 freezers full of things I can't have and I'll be going hungry again... it's the same every year and was the same in January, so I'm not expecting it to be any different this time <shrug>
Have I said that I've taken my morning pills?
I've just seen something on Facebook that pretty much blew my mind but it got me wondering about the meanings of empathic and empathetic again. I know what empathy is, but I've never been able to get my head around the difference between empathic and empathetic or if they are two words for the same thing... can you help me out please?
I've already had a couple of vegan mince pies and a drinking choccie, so if Steve decides not to cook for lunch then I'll have 745 calories inside me already, which is better than nothing.
Best set the virus scan running before I forget again, then I'll go for a wee and be ready to jump straight back in to carer mode when Steve's finished getting washed at the kitchen sink 🤢
...break down like this:
My stuff: £6.54
Steve's stuff: £25.20
Joint stuff: £14.99
You all know this rant off by heart by now, right? I'm just glad that I've got anything at all on there 'cos it's totally for Steve next week 'cos of NaNo.
...taken my last two pills of the day, so I'm just waiting for Steve to eat his third meal of the day made by me so that I can take his plate out and hopefully have a reasonably early night tonight.
As far as the support today goes, the totals break down like this:
Steve's caring total: 0h 0m
My caring total: 12h 10m
Literally the only time he's got out of his chair today has been for a handful of wee's and nothing else which means he's gotta put in 5 hours and 10 minutes of care every day for the rest of the week to even hit the minimum. I'm predicting right now, at 7.15pm, that I'll get less than 2 hours of care all week combined. I'm also predicting, a 7.16pm, that it'll be a pretty easy 85 hour week for me this week.
I didn't have any breakfast and my very simple lunch of 2 slices of toast and 2 Yum Yum's from a bakery yesterday was enough to more than double my daily calorie count lol I've got 6 vegan mince pies to have too, but I haven't dived into those yet... maybe for pud tomorrow if they don't go off before then? lol
Here are todays two lunch photos:
Two Ways to Diagnose, and Treat, a Toxic Friendship - Amanda's comment: Yup, I've got one friend in particular who is very parasitic according to the description here. I always have to immediately respond to them and support them however they want and need, but perish the thought that they support me and I'm left with absolute stoney silence until they want me to do the next thing for them!
Every Monday when our rubbish sack and recycling containers are emptied, I say good morning and thank you to the collectors who are doing a job that very few people want to do, is unsociable hours, stinks and they are dealing with the things that nobody else wants, so it's a far from pleasant job to do and I like to think that my weekly appreciation of them and treating them like human beings makes it ever so slightly more bearable for them.
This morning, just by doing what I do every week, I got the recycling box, food waste caddy and the paper and card sack all put together and handed to me. It's not a regular thing, but it does happen every so often and nobody else in the street gets that kind of treatment so I'm guessing it's a rare occurance on each of their rounds.
It's polite, friendly and doesn't cost a penny, so I'm more than happy to keep doing it each week.
Just done my weekly weigh-in and I'm 900g over the top of the healthy weight range for my height, which is where I prefer to be at the end of October and December each year so that I can focus on my writing without worrying about going too far underweight from living on a liquid diet for 8-10 days. It's easy to lose weight during the rest of the year but I prefer to be overweight 'cos of the two writing challenges that I do each year.
Steve's out of the bathroom now so I'll go and make his first meal of the day for him. It's gonna be another day of me making all his meals for him again 'cos it's his usual cereal this morning, toast for lunch (after a frozen loaf of bread came apart in my hands yesterday) and his usual sandwiches for tea.
I've already taken my morning pills and just started the virus scan so I'm all set until the rubbish and recycling is collected now.
...has now been refilled ready for next week and I've got exactly 7 pills left in the bottle then that's all 360 pills taken and I can crack open my new bottle of pills ready for the start of NaNo when I'll need all the help my body can get 'cos of eating so little for the first 10-ish days of November.
Steve's found a totaly me-friendly restaurant that is entirely vegan so I can choose literally anything and know that I'll be able to eat it with no problem at all.
The first test will be a week tomorrow 'cos there is no menu 'cos of NaNo starting on that Tuesday, so we're gonna have a blow-out take-away from there to see me through until I've written the final word then we'll hopefully have another pig-out from the same place in celebration.
My usual aim is to finish by the time I head to bed on the 10th, but I'd love to finish on the 8th again this year, like I did last year. I'm not gonna pressure myself to finish on the 8th, but that's my tough target and the 10th is my usual target 'cos that's only 5,000 words a day. I'm also gonna attempt to have an encouraging J2O as soon as I start - I'm just not sure how my body will react to having it at like 5am on an empty stomach lol
...rubbish and recycling out for another week and Steve actually helped this week, before deciding that he needed to use the bathroom "for an emergency visit" after he'd knotted the bin bag and hauled it into the rubbish sack for me. I'm predicting right now, at 4.45pm that he'll put his legs up and fall asleep for the rest of the afternoon and evening now, so his weekly total of care is 2 hours and 25 minutes. My current care total for today alone is 8 hours and 25 minutes which brings my weekly total up to 81 hours and 24 minutes. I doubt I'll make 85 hours this week, but that's OK, 'cos it's been a pretty low caring week this week - I've more than doubled the minimum though, so I'm content with that.
If we have eaten home-made meals every day for lunch with no take-aways, we're allowed to order in a Caffe Nero treat after lunch on a Sunday.
Today's treat was a total balls-up 'cos the driver was expecting food and Caffe Nero had got our order right - just the 2 Mocha Grande's this week. To give them credit, Caffe Nero did call to check which was right but the Mochas were obviously done in a hurry this week 'cos there was no foam on either of them and it just looked like a strong white coffee to both of us. There was more coffee than chocolate this week too and if it had been my first Mocha (like it was with Steve) I wouldn't have had a second one.
I've convinced Steve to give them a second chance and have the mocha again next week to hopefully get the full effect 'cos they're only human after all and mistakes are part of life, but it was a disappointing treat this week.
We also had a Greggs as part of our treat this week so I'm just waiting for Steve to finish his chicken bits then we can sort the rubbish and recycling out before it gets too much darker out there.
All in all, not a good treat afternoon, but I'm trying to remain hopeful for next week.
We had a gorgeous vegetarian "chicken" balti curry with extra mixed veg and white rice today and it really hit the spot.
We've got our regular Sunday treat of a Cafe Nero coffee this afternoon, possibly with something from Greggs too, but we'll decide nearer the time.
Here's today's lunch photo:
Had my first breakfast for 3 days this morning and it tasted even better than I thought! Could have done with a few more sultanas in it to give it a sweetness boost, but it's considerably bettter than I've had for the last two days!
Here's today's breakfast photo:
Yet again I've been up for hours and forgotten to say good morning to you all!
I've already taken my morning pills, run the virus scan (which was thankfully clear again) and made breakfast for both of us this morning. Steve's still up for doing the curry at lunchtime, but we shall see if that's still case at lunchtime.
I'm sneezing like a good'un this morning so I hope I haven't got my first cold of the year already!
Gotta resize my breakfast photo now, then make another hot drink for both of us.
...just gotta wait for the side effects to kick in now, but I'm on track for putting in a 13 hour day of caring today, as long as my body can last another minute. My carer has done bugger all to care for or support me yet again today and an hour and 56 minutes all week combined, so there's no possible way for him to even approach the minimum required now, even if he did nothing but care for me until midnight tomorrow 'cos there are only 28 hours left of the week and he needs to put in 33 hours and 4 minutes so I dunno where he's expecting to get the other 5 and a bit hours from again.
I've gone over the 13 hours now, so I'm gonna start closing all my programs down. It's gonna be yet another late night tonight, but that's OK as long as my carer gets fed!
...Steve's eating something solid and literally all that has been in my belly all day is 4 bananas, 2 drinking chocolates, 1 mug of tea, 1 mug of coffee and a flapjack - so much for needing to put weight on this week eh?
There are only 2 MugShots left and Steve has at least one, or like this week, two, Mugshots each week so I've had to take the coffee off and add another 5 MugShots on for Steve, so Tuesday's grocery totals now look like this:
My stuff: £6.54
Steve's stuff: £27.77
Joint stuff: £14.99
which is frustrating to say the least, but what I've come to expect.
...for the second time today and I've got a coffee on the go for my lunch. If I have the other 2 bananas and 2 drinking chocolates this afternoon, I'll just about make it to the minimum amount of calories for the day, so it's a good job I've been significantly over budget every day so far, innit.
How are you all doing this morning?
Today's breakfast will be a banana or possibly two then the same again for lunch - far from ideal, but better than nothing.
My daily virus scan found one "advanced issue" this morning, which it's currently sorting out for me, so that's OK.
I had to wake Steve up soon after coming downstairs this morning because I couldn't see him breathing, then I taped up his patch test dressing and made us both a lemon instant tea. I remembered to check the nutritional information on the tub this time and it's got considerably less sugar in it than the drinking chocolate, so I'm gonna let Steve have that rather than the drinking chocolate every morning - there's 5.5g of sugar in one mugful of the tea and 22.7g in the drinking chocolate so there's more than 4 times less sugar in it, but it's still caffeinated so I can only have it "2-3 times a week" on doctors orders. That's OK though 'cos I'm genuinely not missing the caffeine as much as I did when my GP first told me to cut down!
I've taken my morning pills and drained the bottle of squash, so I'll be going back to tap water instead of the purity of the spring water... that's OK though 'cos it's cheaper lol
Put in a repeat prescription request too, so hopefully that'll be here before the end of the week. I've got 2 weeks and 2 days left of my AP and 10 days left of my OAB pill so hopefully I've ordered them in time to be delivered before I run out!
Already cared for my carer for over 90 minutes this morning, which is more than he's cared for me all week combined. I can't see me getting much (if any) care from him today 'cos MugShots are on the menu which means that only Steve will be having lunch and I'll be making it. I'll hopefully get a bottle of squash out of him tonight 'cos I'm too much of a short arse to do it myself, but I reckon it'll be another week of under 2 hours of care from my carer and around 80 hours by me... apparently I'm not the carer and he does everything for me <shrug> You all know that rant off by heart now though, right? lol
I've got another video of him fast asleep that I'm currently uploading to YouTube so that I've got even more proof of how long he spends asleep and how little he supports me in reality.
He's just woken up and gone for a poo, so I'd best publish this and go and make his breakfast for him.
...fed for the third time today (I've eaten once) and I've just taken my last couple of pills of the day, so I'm just waiting for the side effects to kick in now. I'm on track for putting in a 12 hour day today which, if I achieve it, will make it a 58 hour week and 23 hours overtime. Assuming I put in another 12 hour tomorrow I'll have worked double the minimum in 6 days and my carer hasn't even achieved 2 hours yet this week, so unless he cares for me for 18 hours a day, each day of the weekend, he's going to miss the minimum by a loooong way yet again.
I'm gonna publish this and start closing down my programmes 'cos there's only 22 minutes of care left and I'm not even tired yet, so I'm gonna make it less for me to do when the tiredness hits.
...now break down like this:
My stuff: £0.00
Steve's stuff: £32.69
Joint stuff: £17.28
I asked Steve to put some mild decaf coffee on for our home-made mochas and he made some other decisions too.
I've just queried why the MugShots were so expensive (very nearly £8) so he's taken them off and added 6 packets of crisps for me instead, so the totals now break down like this:
My stuff: £6.54
Steve's stuff: £24.77
Joint stuff: £17.28
which is far from ideal (which is that the joint stuff should be most of the total), but considerably better than it was an hour ago!
Took this just before I took the one of just mine so that you can see again, what the portions are usually like and that it wasn't just a pig-out on Steve's part on Wednesday.
Steve's rice was squished flat until it covered the bottom of the plate and was about 2-3cm high, then he put 3 or 4 spoonfuls of the chilli onto my rice and emptied the rest of the very full frying pan onto his plate.
The jar of sauce has got 4 servings in it and I reckon I got just over 1 of them today. There was a mugful of rice between us and I reckon I got about a quarter of the rice.
Dunno if you can tell from the photo, but my plate is about half full and Steve's is precariously balanced and above the top edge of his plate in the middle
Pretty normal division of food for us <shrug>
Cor lummy am I stuffed now! Today's lunch was a vegetarian chilli with Vegemince, baked beans, tomato & chilli sauce and white rice seemingly with a sprinkling of chilli powder for an extra kick to the tastebuds.
Here's today's photo and I took another comparison one so that you can see that Wednesday wasn't just a one-off difference:
I could, potentially, have been wrong with my first prediction this morning 'cos Steve's just stood up to go for a wee and asked "we still chilli-ing for dinner?" to which I replied "we are indeed" and he said, as he waddled out of the room "most excellent" then farted lol
I'm still not holding out much hope until we're both out there and the cooker is on with the pans heating up and me getting things out of the freezer and cupboard, but there is slightly more chance than there was very first thing, thankfully.
...sort of right and sort of wrong. He'd fallen asleep by the time I left the room, so that was right but he was awake again by the time I came back in and he decided he wanted a drink and he was firmly asleep by the time I brought the drinks in and he was asleep within seconds of him putting his drink on the table.
He's putting his legs up now, so he'll be in the land of nod before I finish this sentence... yep snoring away before I finished the word 'nod' lol
I'd best put my drining chocolate into the FitBit app and start my daily virus scan running.
Looks like today's calories will come purely from liquids 'cos my carer hasn't decanted the granola for me, so I'm missing breakfast and I'm predicting right now, at 6.13am that he will be "too tired" to cook because "I woke up every hour from about 10pm to when you came down" even though he was deeply asleep for half an hour between me coming down and him waking up then fell asleep again literally 17 seconds later. Him eating his breakfast has been the longest he's been awake for so far this morning and I'm predicting, at 6.16am, that he'll be asleep by the time I come back in here after taking his bowl out.
I've taken my morning pills, so my body has got the vitamins and minerals that it needs, I'll just be going hungry again is all.
Steve's finished eating now, so I'd best take his bowl out for him.
...a low 80's week this week, but as long as I hit 70 hours (ie double what's required) then I'll be happy with that 'cos I haven't woken up as early as I usually do and been going to bed later, which my body has obviously needed after having the jab on Friday and leaving the street for about the 7th or 8th time this year. I always listen to my body as much as possible now and if that means a few hours less caring then so be it.
...the equivalent of a full-time job of caring for my carer this week, currently 44 hours and counting. My carer has achieved 84 minutes of care for me so far this week so he's gotta cram over 33 hours of care into the next three days to even hit the minimum. That's 11 hours a day. That's the average number of hours I put in every day but it's rare for my carer to go above 3 hours a week, which is less than a tenth of what he says he does to care for me each week.
You all know that rant by now though, right?
A very simple lunch today of instant tomato soup and 2 packets of crisps - it was easier to make the soup than take the photo 'cos that took 3 attempts and I still managed to take a bit of the handle of the mug out of the photo lol
The crisps are me-friendly so I've gotta decide between the "lightly salted" and the sea salt and Balsamic vinegar this afternoon. Which do you reckon I should dive into first?