Next Thursday I will...

...hopefully have earnt a celebratory J2O.

Why?

Because my heat pump is getting it's annual service and I'm really not looking forward to it.

If I'm remembering rightly it'll only take about half an hour, but I'll be on edge the entire time they are here in case they find something seriously wrong or it bursts into flames or there's a power cut or whatever.

I know that I'm over-thinking and getting paranoid and it's all very unlikely to happen but it's just the way my mind works with things I don't understand.  It's only once a year and I'm really hoping it'll be a morning call, with any luck the first one of the day, but I'm gonna be on edge until it's over and done with for another year.

When it's done and dusted, I'll have a celebratory J2O and waaay too much chocolate all afternoon.  I'll end up regretting being so piggish with an allergen, but I don't care - I'll need the reassurance that only chocolate can provide.

It's gonna be a busy week next week 'cos of the rubbish and recycling on Monday, groceries on Tuesday, weekly virus scan and backups on Wednesday, the annual service being on my middle nephew's birthday on Thursday, then I can breath until the start of February when I start the second/third edit of my second memoire.

I'm gonna be a bag of nerves next week and in my creative space the week after!

I've just...

...spent my Christmas vouchers on a top, trousers, boots, wig and fake plants.

The top and trousers are blue so it's another day without wearing dark colours, the boots are navy so another slightly less dark colour, the fake plants will go on the top shelf in the kitchen that is now clear and I've been pondering on getting the wig for a few years, inspired by a fellow children's author and is purple so obviously fake, but more colour in my life instead of dark colours all the time.

Next time I get my eyes tested, if I need new lenses then I'm gonna get a bright, fun colour for the frames so that'll be another easy way to get colour in my life... and to think it all started with socks lol

They will be here on Wednesday, so I hope it's delivered at a sensible time, considering that I ordered it all in the middle of the day lol

I've just...

...ordered all my Christmas gifts for everyone - only 2 months behind schedule this year lol

The gifts for

...my mum and MIL have been delayed at Customs but there's still 2 months to go so it's not so bad and makes me glad that I ordered them so early lol

That's my...

...Yule shopping officially started 'cos I've just got my mum's gift, coming from America.

Today (8th August 2025) I'm grateful for...

...finally getting rid of some of my Freegle things... I've still got 7 left, but the biggest things have gone now so I can breathe for a while now.

I'm also grateful that I could open the windows and back door to let a bit of fresh air into the house for a couple of hours and the air purifier thing got rid of most of the pollen that came in with the fresh air.

I'm also grateful that I've managed to drink 3 litres of mainly water today.

I've also cleaned the bathroom and I'm gonna do a bit of tidying up in the bedroom when I go to bed, so I'm all caught up now.

My chocolate addiction has kicked in again, but I've only had a couple of tubes of Munchies today which is good for me!

And finally, I'm grateful for the 10 signs I've had from Steve today.

Mornin' all

Well, it's the start of a new day and I've already started on the chocolate lol

I've taken my blood pressure, popped my morning pills and made myself an early morning, me-friendly creamy drinking chocolate.  I've also run the daily virus scan and I need to remember to wrap up my two nephews gifts when my carer has left... will she be an honest carer who only stays for as long as I need her to or will she stay for the 30 minutes unnecessarily?

Time to put up today's to-do list then get the blood pressure results on the spreadsheet then resize and put all the photos onto my health site.

Aaaaand... relax!

That's the virus scan and backups done for another week so I can relax until my delivery and lunchtime carer get here... knowing my luck they will both turn up together lol

My lunches for the rest of the year (assuming that they are in stock each week of course) will be mince pies, so that's another nice, easy lunch that I can make for myself while my carers sit and use their phones for the entire 18 minute visit.

My breakfast was using my brother's birthday gift of a very personalised mug and English breakfast tea which I took a photo of, but there are photos of my youngest nephew all around it, so there won't be any photos of it and the only way you'll get to see it is if you visit me at home 😉.  My brother has understandably asked that I don't share the photos with anyone and I totally respect that and won't do it for anything with pictures on them either.

My birthday delivery from my mum could turn up at any time so I've gotta keep my ear out for that too.

Time to update today's to-do list now I reckon.

Mornin' all

I was awake before 4am again then dozed until my watch woke me up at 5.30am then it took me 19 minutes to put my glasses on, make the bed and come downstairs!

I've popped my morning pills with my morning glass of water and after a slow start, my daily virus scan is almost finished now, which is a relief.

The clocks go forward in the early hours of tomorrow morning, so I definitely need an early night tonight to make up for the hour that I'll be without tomorrow... I just hope that I'm up before my carer arrives tomorrow!

I'm freezing cold but I'm not gonna make myself a hot drink or curl up underneath the sleeved blanket otherwise the carer is bound to turn up mid-mouthful or she'll have to wait for me to untangle myself which will put her in a bad mood for her other clients, so I'll just have to stay cold until she turns up.

I've got 2 deliveries due today too, so it's all go!

Time to put today's to-do list up before my carer arrives methinks.

TTFN

Now's the time...

...to shut down and attempt to wrap up a couple of Yule gifts, then the National Grid thing again, then time for beddy-byes.

Nite nite orl

I took my last two pills of the day an hour ago and remembered that I hadn't even thought of getting gifts for everyone, but family is all sorted (2 bought and the rest in my basket) and I've just gotta get C's gift bought and ideally sent to him then that's me sorted for another year.

This is a very late night for me, so I'm gonna publish this then shut down for the night I reckon.

Nite nite orl.

Mornin' all

Last night's parcel that was delivered to the wrong house has just been brought over, thankfully, so I don't need to worry about finding more money to replace the gifts now.

I've taken my morning pills and I've got a decaff mocha on the go while I wait for my morning carer to turn up, then I'll hopefully have time for a bowl of fruit and fibre before my groceries turn up then I'll be able to relax for half an hour before I have my lunch, then do another stock-take of the food in the kitchen so that I can keep it accurate.

Gonna sort out today's to-do list now methinks.

Nite nite orl

My order says it's been delivered but it hasn't been so I've used the chat bot who said to give it until Wednesday then I'm going to kick some bottom 'cos it was an expensive package to go missing!

I'm not a happy bunny but I'm going to bed now so that I don't take my bad mood out on those I care about.

Nite nite orl.

Pills taken and...

...my delivery is on the map now so it won't be too much of a late night after all, thankfully!

Goood morning all

How are you all doing this morning?

I've taken my morning pills and put the heater on for a little while, then I'll go and make my breakfast. I don't think I've got anything going on today, so I'm gonna try studying for the first time as a young widow today.

I'm £4.04 under my electricity budget, so I've put the heater on for a few minutes and I'll turn it off when the weeks total reaches a nice, round £16.

I sorted out the menu's and grocery orders yesterday so that I'll still be able to eat, but they are meals that take under 15 minutes instead of under 20 so that my carers can get to their next client on time.  There will be lots of MugShots and noodles and platefuls of just boiled veg instead of proper meals, but by the time my carers have put on and taken off their PPE I'm only left with 10-15 minutes and they get flustered when I say that that day's meal needs to be in the oven for 20 minutes, so by having things that only take as long as water takes to boil, they won't be late for their next appointment.

Have I already said that I've bought a gift for someone?  It's being delivered on Monday so I hope they like it when I give it to them!

I've just started my daily virus scan so hopefully everything will still be clear of nasties.

I'm gonna put today's to-do list up now, then go and make my breakfast I reckon.

BBS

Mornin' all

I've taken my morning pills and it's gonna be soo weird today 'cos the only bit of rubbish or recycling to go out is the food waste caddy!  There's only maybe 1 or 2 things in the glass box, the plastic doesn't even cover the bottom and the rubbish doesn't even cover the bottom of the black bag, so all that needs to go out today is the food waste and the only reason that's going out is 'cos 12 yoghurts were past their date!

I've gotta wrap up my middle nephew's birthday gift today so that I can take it with me when I go over to see my in-laws today 'cos it'll be the last thing on my mind on Tuesday and Sunday will be a belated gift, which I don't wanna happen 'cos he's so young, so I'm gonna go and bring it all downstairs to wrap up now then have my breakfast.

The virus scan was reassuringly clear, so I can use my computer safely now.

Updated to-do list

Managed to cross a few things off this morning's to-do list, which now looks like this:

• go and bring the gifts down 
• bag all the gifts up
• bag up Steve's wallet and paperwork in a separate bag
  
• go and get a towel and set of clothes 
• have a bath
• get dressed for the first time as a widow
• have breakfast
• make myself a coffee
• cry

Only...

...7 minutes away from having put in a 12 hour day today which is ⅓ of the weekly minimum already.  My carer has put in 2 minutes of care for me so far today and I'm not gonna be awake for another 5 hours, so he's lagging behind already.

It's gonna be a busy day tomorrow 'cos our groceries are being delivered, the two parcels are being picked up and apparently Steve's got a couple of Amazon deliveries due tomorrow too lol  I'm hoping that I'll get around half an hour of support tomorrow to bring in and put away the groceries, then my carer will be in the land of nod until lunchtime, he'll eat then snooze for the rest of the afternoon until I make his tea, then he'll go back to sleep until I head to bed.  I'm predicting, at 6.55pm that he'll say he doesn't need a wee 10 minutes before the groceries arrive, but after taking 1 bag from the doorstep to the other side of his body, he'll suddenly be desperate and it'll all be down to me again, same as every week.

While I'm talking about the groceries, I'd best give you the breakdown of tomorrow's spend while I remember!

My stuff:  £6.25
Steve's stuff:  £34.29
Joint stuff:  £17.84

So it's considerably better than it is normally, but the stuff that's just for Steve is still well over half of the entire budget and I bet a lot of it will go to waste too, same as usual.

My FitBit has finished charging up now and Steve's onto his last layer of sandwiches, so I'm gonna publish this, reattach my FitBit and get ready for taking Steve's plate back through to the kitchen, ready for him to fall asleep again until the side effects of my pills kick in.

So far today, I've...

...taken all of my first pills of the day and week, made two meals (and eaten neither of them), sorted out a technical glitch on a website and cared for my carer for over 7 hours.  My carer, OTOH has made me a bottle of squash (at just gone midnight), eaten two meals and slept for 6½ hours since I've been awake.  He's used up the last of the brown sauce so I had to add another bottle to the shopping which leaves me with 3 bottles of squash and 4 packets of crisps on the £57 order.

My Graze box arrived this morning so I've managed to have 703 calories today which is better than I was thinking.  It'll be the same tomorrow 'cos it's pizza so Steve'll be the only one eating proper meals and I'll finish off my last two Graze punnets for lunch but I'm predicting that I'll have lost way more than the 300g I've got left in my healthy weight range considering I lost a kilo last week and was able to have breakfast on the Monday.  Friday to Sunday are the only days I'll be able to have proper meals again this week, assuming Steve can be arsed to cook of course, otherwise I'll be reliant on drinking chocolates to get any calories into me at all for the rest of the week... apparently he makes all my meals and drinks for me though <shrug>

Best arrange for the Yule gifts to be paid for and sent off now, before Steve breaks them before they've even left the house.

Other than...

...weighing the packages and sending the gifts off (need your address again please C!) hopefully early next week, that's Yule/Christmas sorted for another year now.

I'm in a great deal of pain, shaking like a leaf, wobbly and flicking between too hot and too cold, but it's only once a year, so that's not so bad to put up with.

I've got our two local nephews their gifts that Steve said we can take with us when we go over to see his mum and sister on Christmas Day again (I've seen my mum once since my father's funeral in July 2010), so I hope it's OK with his family too!

I'm chilly cold now, but I'm not gonna risk going up to get my cardigan otherwise I won't be well enough to come back downstairs to keep caring for my carer.

➰➰➰

Woops!  Forgot to publish this before I got the address, so just need to weigh the two packages, pay for the postage and get them sent off.  I'm in too much pain to do anything other than sit here now.

I've cared for my carer for almost 10 hours today, so just gotta keep going until 7.55pm then I've hit the 85 hour week.  My carer, OTOH, has only managed 1 hour and 36 minutes all week combined.