I'm in tears

I've just gone through my twins site, saving all the pages ready to edit and update them all.  I thought I'd learnt to cope with my loss of Angelah and Angeloh but I haven't - the pain is still there and I still cry at the thought of never seeing them again.

They would have been 16 years old this month if I hadn't lost them back in 1996.

What would they look like?  What would their hobbies be?  What would they want to do as a career?  What would they want to when they left school - would they want to go to college or go straight into a job?

Oh I don't know.  I just wish I could spend one day with them to let them know how much I love and miss them.

*sad sigh*

I'm feeling...

I'm feeling incredibly proud of myself right now!

I've just summed up the courage to open a letter I've been dreading all day in case it was to demand a payment again.

The letter *was* from a debt collection agency but they weren't demanding money, they were just confirming a direct debit I set up with them on 15th March and letting me know that the last payment would be around 15th April 2024!

I know that seems forever (or at least it does to me right now) but it's only 11 years away and I haven't got the credit card in my purse any more so I've got no way of spending any more on it either.  I just hope they don't send me statements and that they just take the money every month otherwise I'll crack and want to spend money instead of paying it back!

I've just got 2 more credit cards and 3 store cards to pay off now (although I think 2 of the store cards have already been paid off).

I'm never ever getting credit again.  If I want something but can't afford it then tough luck!  I'm never getting into this pickle over money ever again... it's not worth it!

Please don't take your health for granted!

What does it feel like to be healthy?  I genuinely don't remember  :-(

When I first moved to Gloucester, I was happy, sane and healthy.  I had 2 jobs that I loved and was walking about 5 miles a day, had my favourite food (jacket potato with cheese and baked beans) for lunch every day during the week, I could eat what I liked, when I liked and I could leave the house and socialise and go window shopping etc etc - I so wish I hadn't taken that for granted now!

Now though, I'm pretty much house-bound and I hate it!  :-(

I'm saving up for an electric wheelchair to hopefully get me out of the house and give me back some independence but it's slow going!  I've got £300 saved up so far so I'm less than half way there  :-( 

I just want my health and independence back!

I'm just a grumpy cow tonight so I'm going to bed now and hope that I wake up in a better mood tomorrow!

Nite nite orl!

What a great start to 2013!

Just had to share something that I've achieved in the last 18ish hours!

I'm a member of a thyroid forum and I worked out how to add a photo to my profile at about 1am but couldn't work out how to get an Avatar to show up to the left of each of my posts... not any more though! 

I've now got an Avatar and a profile picture of our Westie, Mitzi, from soon after we re-homed her and she's looking straight at you in both pictures!  So adorable!  I'm so glad she chose us back in 2010!

Happy New Year everyone!