Tuesday, 22 May 2018

Why rather than what I'm studying

Just watching an interview thing with Noel Fitzpatrick (aka the SuperVet) and one of the questions from the audience was what was he like as a vetinary student.

Apparently he was a geek at University, which is fair enough, but the partial sentence that really struck a chord with me was to work out why you're studying, rather than what you're studying.

I'm studying because I want to learn new things and keep my brain active while I'm disabled.  The brain damage has taken most of my memories and I honestly can't remember 5 minutes in the past, let alone anything further in the distance than that.  Yep, totally serious.

Sooo, the reason that I'm studying is to prove to myself that I still can.  That I'm still a passionate person and that just because I'm disabled doesn't mean I can't learn new things.

If I hadn't become disabled, if my brain hadn't been damaged, then I wouldn't have even thought about studying at University level because I would have told you I was too thick and I'd be kicked out in my first week there.

I've taken loads of OpenLearn courses which are University Level short courses and I did well with them.  A few of them were even Post-Graduate courses and I coped OK with those too.

I'm not thick, I just need to have more confidence in myself... need to tell my bullies that they have bugger all control over me any more and that if I get awarded ESA in November then I *will* study with the Open University as long as I choose a course that doesn't have an exam because I know, in my heart of hearts, that right now I would fail because of my brain damage.  I'm not saying that'll be my future, just for a few more years while I re-build my memory through studying is all.

You controlled me for too many years, Bullies, but not any more.  From now on, the only person who tells me what I'm capable of achieving is me and only me.

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