3 years

Assuming I'm allowed to keep getting the ESA for the next 3 years, I'll be totally debt free in less than 3 years.  If I'm awarded PIP at the appeal next week I'll be able to use the back payment to pay the last 2 credit cards off even quicker.

I've cancelled all my non essential direct debits to give Steve an extra £50 for the electricity a month on top of the council tax and shopping.  I said that he had to apply for more than 1 job a week or I'd stop the direct debit.

He applied for one job this morning and then fell asleep.

He's still asleep now!

I that's on top of the £50 a week I pay for the shopping... about £7.50 of that is drinks for me and the rest of it is cake and food and drink for Steve.  Hardly fair, is it?

I left literally everything behind for Steve in 1998 on the condition that we go back and see my mum regularly.  We haven't been over since 2010 for my dad's funeral, we saw her once soon after we rehomed Mitzi but nothing since.

OTOH, Steve sees his sister every Monday, his dad twice a week his brother whenever there is sport on the telly that they want to see and his mum every 6 weeks when we have our hair cut.  He sees his family more in a week than I've seen my family since 2010!

A year ago today, I spent the whole day sorting out and tidying up the kitchen.  Less than 24 hours later and it was a mess again.  I posted the memory that came up for me to Facebook and Steve had a go at me about it so yet again I'm at fault again.

Well not any more.

As of this morning we're swapping places.  I'm doing what Steve does around the house and he can do what I do.  He won't even last for 24 hours but I don't care any more... I don't see why I should have to keep the house tidy when Steve spends 20 hours a day asleep and the other 4 hours eating.

I've just had it now.

Steve and I are going to swap places just for one week and Steve can get the blame for a change.  Bet he doesn't though!  Bet it'll be my fault again.  Everything always is.

I've got my appeal hearing next week and Steve said when I got the letter 2 weeks ago that he'd arrange for the taxi to pick me up in my wheelchair to take me there.  He's called 2 taxi's to see if they've got wheelchair accessible taxi's.  They haven't but they suggested the company Steve refuses to use because of his size.

So, yet again, it's left up to me.  He's supposed to be my carer FFS!  He said he'll get the wheelchair taxi for me and get another company to take him to the court instead.

I can just see how that's gonna look to the court... my carer doesn't care!

I'm seriously considering moving out and getting a wheelchair accessible house and carer for myself for a few months.  He's decided that if I get PIP he'll get Carers Allowance because he cares for me for over 30 hours a week when in reality he does bugger all to help me.  He spends 4 hours a day awake and watching the telly instead of doing anything that would entitle him to the title of carer!

I've had enough.

I'm gonna see what the outcome is with my PIP appeal then look for my own little place closer to my mum, apply for more benefits to help with the rent and employ a live-in carer to actually care for me, like it says in his/her job description!

I'm not gonna put up with Steve's crap any more.  He either becomes my carer and earns the money he's determined to get from the Benefits Agency or I bugger off on my own.

It always becomes my fault when something goes wrong, but not any more.  I've had as much as I can take now!