Stoopid internet connection

Our stoopid internet connection and TV were down for 13 flippin' hours overnight and this morning!

It's only just come back!

Grrr!

The next 7 days (8 if you include today)

Today is 18 years since I lost my first twin.

Sunday is my 37th birthday.

Next Monday is the day I lost my second twin.

The next week is going to be so hard!

I hope a carer comes for Steve today!

He's supposed to have a carer come in to change his bandages every day.

No-one came yesterday.

I hope they come today 'cos the goo is oozing through the tubigrip a lot now!

Steve's paying them to come out every day so that's what they should do!

Hurumpf

I think I need...

...a knee replacement! 

I'll be 37 in 8 days but my knees are killing me!

Steve's dream last night

Mitzi is a West Highland White Terrier so she's mid-shin height.

Our door lock is chest height.

Apparently Steve woke up in the middle of the night yelling Mitzi's name at the top of his voice.

He'd dreamed that Mitzi had opened the front door and gone off on an adventure and he was worried about her!

Mitzi was just sat in her bed, looking up at him to find out what he was yelling her name for!

Steve then woke up and realised it was just a dream, bless 'em both!

So sweet!

Steve's carer had great timing this morning!

I'd just got back in here after checking that Mitzi had food and water in her bowls, was about to close the living room door and his carer knocked on the front door!

If she'd been 15 seconds earlier, I would still have been in the kitchen.

If she'd been 15 seconds later I would have parked my arse!

She's got great timing!

Stolen from a Pagan forum

One of the mods on a Pagan forum I'm with posed the question of if an image or piece of music could ever say more than words written down.

I think they definitely can!

There were some pictures of natural faces (not man-made, Mother Nature's own creativity) within the bark of trees that was sent through the forum a little while ago - there is no way I can do those photo's justice with words they were just incredible, natural images within old tree's barks.... they had to be seen to be believed!

Each image made me feel so close to the Green Man and made me miss having a tree to hug!

What about you?  Have you ever seen an image that words could never do justice to, even by the most talented wordsmith in the world?

Does anyone know...

Does anyone happen to know/are personally an amateur artist who specialises in sketching/drawing what children may look like in future please?

I miscarried my twins the week of my 19th birthday and my most treasured possesion is a pencil sketch a fantastic friend did for me several years ago and it's coming up to 18 years since I lost my twins now (29th September and 6th October) so want to invest in a sketch of what they would look like as young adults (they would have been 18 in early April next year).

I'm willing to pay up to £50 (approx $75-$100) at most, but only if the picture meets my high expectations!

You can see my memorial pages and the sketch on my site.

If you want to give it a go, please email me a few examples of your previous portraits and if you meet my expectations then let me know what your price is and what you need to know to come up with the portrait and I'll do my best to answer your questions.

If you paint portraits, that's totally cool, but if I agree to you doing the portrait, can I ask that you do it on paper instead of those board things so that I can frame it please?

If you can arrange to have the approved work framed as well then I'll happily pay an extra £25 for that and postage if you want me to?

If you've got a website or small, personal e-shop or whatever, I'll happily give you an appropriate review that you can publish to show how great your artwork is... don't expect me to be anything but honest in it though!

My email address is amanda.k.george@googlemail.com if you want to contact me about what I've said in this post  :-)

Toolbar has stopped working again :-(

It worked for about 18 hours then stopped again  :-(

I hope they're comfortable!

I've just bought a pack of 4 pillows for £25 on Amazon.

They'll be here tomorrow.

I hope they are big and fat and comfy!

It's amazing what a 2 hour nap can do! lol

I could barely keep my eyes open this afternoon so took a little nap and I feel so much better now!

My AP sends me to sleep for 12 hours a night and I've only been getting 10 hours recently which is a lot for most people but the 2 less hours make a real difference after a while and I need a little nap before the cycle starts again!

I'll be OK for a week or 10 days now then I'll need another nap!

Toolbar is working again now

The toolbar is working again... yay!

I've just taken my supplements too and they are already starting to work after forgetting to take them yesterday!

I made a booboo on a graphic last night though - apparently the text said I' rather than we're and I've got to change the names on them too... d'oheth!

Another answered prayer

Another prayer was answered this evening which, again, proves that small prayers that just take a quick click of the fingers by a Higher Power gets answered.

I asked that the shopping came as soon as possible.

Tiny in the grand scheme of things, yeah?

In less than 15 minutes it was here and being unloaded!

My Higher Powers are wonderfully great!  Thank you Gaia, Mother Earth and Green Man!

Blessed Mabon

I know Mabon is usually a Wiccan sabbat and I’m Heathen but it’s still part of the wheel of the year so I’ll celebrate it!  lol

Mabon is, AFAIK, a celebration of the Autumn equinox and used to be the start of proper-sized apples in the garden when I lived in the middle of no-where with my mum, dad and brother and there was an apple tree in the garden.

I love trees, especially those ones who look like they have a face in their bark!  The older and more ragged the bark, the better!

5 big yay's

First yay is an OCD thing - this is post number 300 in my blog... yay!  Next goal is 500 lol

Second to fifth yay's are wheelchair related.

So, the second yay is that I got into town and back without falling out of Patrick again!  Yay!  Just got to slowly build up confidence in myself and the chair now and believe in myself that I can cross 2 really busy roads each way on me own... I did it twice with C today, but C told me when it was safe to cross.  Hopefully I'll be able to cross those roads without feedback next time... I'm so close to total independence!  When I can confidently get into Gloucester alone, the next challenge is Cheltenham!

Third yay may not seem like a big deal to you but it's a huge deal to me and has done wonders for my confidence in steering.  Why?  Because right on the corner of a slopey bit there was scaffolding taking up at least a third of the pavement then about a (walking) step further on there was a folded up, solid, barrier thing to get around!  I did it without knocking any of it over or falling out of the chair!

Fourth yay is that I didn't break anything... the wheelchair lift, the wheelchair or me!  Yay!  I almost fell out of the seat as I got out of Patrick and into the pub chair next to the wheelchair but even that didn't happen this afternoon!  I must have looked drunk at 12.45pm on a Sunday but I wasn't and I don't give a damn what anyone else thinks!

The final yay is that there are some really understanding drivers in Gloucester because on our way back, crossing the second busy road, a driver stopped and let me cross his side of the road then a people carrier stopped on the other half of the road without hurrying me!  There are some wonderful drivers out there!

The supplements are already making a difference!

I've only taken the supplements for 2 days but it really does feel like I'm living my life in HD!  The B12 is almost an instant hit, the calcium is already taking effect in my nails and the multivitamin is keeping me awake and alert!

I definitely recommend them all - surely it's better to be safe than sorry?  :-)

Matchstick thighs

Has anyone, other than those who can afford plastic surgery, got matchstick thin thighs?

I bought 2 pairs of jeans from BHS last week and I've just tried to get into one of them and even though I undid the button and zip (obviously) I still couldn't get them higher than my knees!

I haven't got thin thighs, I know that, because I spent 5 years unwillingly injecting growth hormone into them as a child.  I thought the jeans were going to be more forgiving though because they weren't skinny or slim jeans or anything like that... I wouldn't have got them over my ankles if they were!  lol

Maybe I should stick to trousers, skirts and leggings?

My secret hobby

I was hoping to have mystery shopping as my 'secret hobby' but I've just seen a reply from the CAB to my email asking about if I would be allowed to do it as permitted work and still get ESA... I can't face the risk of loosing my ESA, so, like the surveys, I just won't do it!

Better safe than sorry and all that!  :-)

Vitamin B12

When my GP tested my vitamin levels before he retired, it came back showing that I was low in vitamins B12, D and folic acid.

I took a B12 supplement this morning and I already feel the difference!  I've got a B12 oral spray that works within seconds too.

Everything is in HD now!

3 out of 5 ain't bad!

The multivitamin pill is huge so that was crunched up.

The calcium was even bigger so that was definitely crunched up.

The vitamin C was *meant* to be chewed up so that's how I took it.  1 out of 3

The B12 was small enough to swallow whole.  2 out of 4

The vitamin B complex was swallowed whole too.  3 out of 5!

Yay!

I took Mitzi for her walk this morning and...

... it's so hot out there, even at 7.15am!

I'm about to take my supplements and I'm going to try taking them without crunching them all up first!  I can't usually take any pills without crunching them up, but I take the AP without crunching it up so there's no reason that I can't take the supplements whole either!

It's all purely psychological, just like the fear of spiders, dentists, heights and speed.,, I know that, I just can't work out how to put it right!

Ho hum!

The supplements have just arrived! Yay!

Starting tomorrow I can re-start popping the pills again!  I've been more sensible this time - instead of popping 9 supplements every morning, I've got it down to 5 now - a multivitamin and multi-mineral, vitamin c, calcium with magnesium, vitamin b12 and vitamin b complex!

You watch me forget now!  lol

I've got such bad timing! lol

It's been hissing it down with rain outside for most of the night and this morning.

Typical English weather.

I took Mitzi out for her walk when it seemed to have slowed down.

By the time we got to the window, it was hammering down again!  *sigh*

Me an' Mitzi are both soaked through to the skin now!

Ho hum!

Mitzi's walk this morning

I've just got back from taking Mitzi for her walk and she was a naughty girl today  :-(

She was fine until she spotted a cat underneath a car!  Usually she just wags her tail and wants to play with cats... not today though!

She sped up and pulled me with her so that I almost fell over until she got to the car then started barking and yapping and trying to go under the car after the cat.  Not what you need at 7.15am!

The cat ran off.

Mitzi started running after it, almost pulling me over.

The cat ran around a corner and Mitzi wanted to follow it.

No way.

We walked to the corner then came home.

Steve said that if she does it again then I should just turn around and bring her home.

It's only the second or third time that she's been naughty in the 4 years we've had her though!

I still love her to bits, she's just in my bad books right now!  :-(

Two things are now official...

The first is that I've now given up on getting my supplements delivered today.

The second is that for the first time in my life I've now got white teeth!  Yay!

The crystals have just arrived and...

From the look of the crystals on the Amazon site, I thought they were going to be tiny... a few milimetres each sorta thing but nope!  They are about 1cm by 1.5cm each!

In theory, I can put the smaller ones in the offering bowl and invest in an altar cloth to put the bigger ones on!

They are much better value than I was thinking!

Just waiting for the sea salt, apple juice (which will be here on Monday) and supplements (today hopefully) now!

I've just asked Steve...

I've just asked Steve to add a 330ml bottle of apple juice and a tub of coarse sea salt to the shopping order so as of Tuesday I'll be able to make offerings to the housewights!  Yay!

Offerings to go into the bowls

Gotta remember to get a teeny tiny bottle of wine to go into the spare room's offering bowl, put the crystals in the offering bowl down here, sea salt into the kitchen's bowl and water into the bathroom's bowl... you watch me forget now!  lol

Hopefully, in the post today...

... I'll be getting 200g of crystals and my supplements!  They've both been dispatched so hopefully they'll arrive today!

Oops and yay!

I didn't put anything on here yesterday because I was having trouble with my internet connection... I did try!  Honest!  That's the oops bit.

The yay bit is that I've just checked my bank balance and I've got just over £1050 in there right now.  I've got about £200 in direct debits still to come out but I get paid at the end of September (ESA is every 2 weeks) which will take me back over the thousand.

I've beaten my spending addiction though! That's the yay bit!

Next target is to have £1500 in my account ready for Yule... wish me luck!

Just got back from taking Mitzi for her walk and...

... the motorbike isn't there any more so I took our little pup to the end of the road and the person at the end decided to come out.

Mitzi wagged her tail, trying to be friendly.

He just stood in his doorway - totally within his rights!

Me an' Mitzi came home - totally within our rights!

If the bloke at the end of the road wants to protect the pavement outside his house, that's fine, as long as he realizes that we've got every right to walk down a public footpath - the council have confirmed that!

Got to remember to...

Gotta remember to look for an offering bowl for the Housewights today!  Chances are good that I'll forget though!  :-(  lol

Grrrr!

Sometimes I love my laptop, others, like now, I find it very frustrating!

Nectar toolbar

I've installed the Nectar toolbar on IE and Firefox.

The help file says that you can get 150 points a month.

Last month it stopped counting at 50 points and it's now stopped counting at 20 points... that's a huge difference between the 150 the help file says and the 20 that it actually gives you!  The only reason I'm keeping it installed is so that I know which other sites I can get points on.

Not a happy bunny!

The bloke at the end of the street again

I've just taken Mitzi for her morning walk and, predictably, the bloke came out of his house again but this time with a hosepipe and started washing his car. 

Nothing wrong with that

I came home and, as always, told Steve about Mitzi's walk.

When I got to the bit about the bloke washing his car, Steve said "who washes their car at 7 o'clock in the morning?!" then tutted and went back to watching the TV.

I reckon the bloke at the end of the street does read this blog you know!  I'm not doing anything illegal and neither is Mitzi... if the bloke wants to read my blog then that's fine with me!  It's not like I'm harassing him or anything, just stating facts!

I reckon the bloke at the end of the street...

... saw what I posted yesterday and left me and Mitzi alone this morning!

Why?

Because 2 computer's/people read yesterday's message about the council and he didn't come out of his house this morning!

Stick that in your pipe and smoke it Mr!

Screw you!

Steve's just phoned the council and...

... it's official, the bloke at the end of the street doesn't have a leg to stand on if Mitzi wee's on the pavement outside his house!  If she poo'd then we could be prosecuted if we didn't clear it up but there's no law about weeing!

If Mitzi poo'd outside then I would bring her back home, grab the arm's length pooper scooper we've got and a nappy sack and go to clear it up!  That's our legal responsibility as dog owners!

There's no law against her weeing though, so shove that where the sun don't shine as of tomorrow!  lol

Screw you Mr!  You don't have the law on your side and Steve was honest with the person he spoke to so you don't have the council on your side either!  I've got no problem telling you that so be prepared for a fight if you want it!  :-P

Good value for money, I reckon!

I've just bought myself 2 pairs of petite jean, 10 knickers and 2 bras for £76 at BHS!

I hate being short though - I have to pay more for less fabric and stitching and I'm limited to 3 shops for clothes!  No fair!

The bloke at the end of the street

I took Mitzi for her walk this morning and yet again the bloke at the end of the street came out of his house and said "if it pisses outside my house, you'd better clear it up!"

I came home and told Steve and he's going to phone the council tomorrow (Monday) to see where we stand.

I could understand it if Mitzi was pooing and I would clear that up, but the bloke owns the house, not the street!

*sigh*

What a spectacular puppy!

If you don't like spiders then read this with caution - I mention the huge spider but not as much as on the third.  Read this message if you want to, but if you don't like spiders then just be prepared!

Mitzi is spectacular for 2 reasons within 5 minutes of each other.

The first is that the huge spider is no more... Mitzi the hunter spotted it just above the plugs, plucked it off the wall then killed it and played with it's body until Steve told her to leave it alone.  She had the look of a confused hunter who came across something totally new and protected her parents (me and Steve) then just to make sure it was dead, she ripped all of it's legs out and played with the body!

We both praised her and I went to get a Detastick for her.

Her expression immediately went from hunter to innocent excitement!

We came back in here and Mitzi immediately sat down without me even asking her.  I said "wait" and her expression changed again, this time to pleading eyes and semi drooling mouth.  I put the Dentastick right in front of her nose and asked her to "wait" again for a few more seconds before saying "OK" and letting her have it.

She's 5 years old and a rescue pup that we've had for 4 years and she's the most incredible dog I've ever had the opportunity to meet!

Apparently...

Apparently most Pagans don't pray to their Higher Powers!  They ask their Higher Power for what they want then offer "payment" to them in the form of water or fire (candles) or feeding the wild birds or tending to their garden or something like that!  "A gift for a gift" keeps cropping up!

After praying every night for the last 5 years it's going to be weird to not do it any more!  :-/

My God and Goddesses names

I read some stuff about being a Heathen on the Pagan forum yesterday and learnt that my Goddess' names are a modernish (12th century) concept.

My Goddesses are who Heathens call Jorg.
My God is who Heathens call Cernunnos.

I remembered Jorg but totally forgot about Cernunnos  :-(

I hope he understood and forgives me for forgetting his name!

My FIL is great!

I texted my FIL this morning and asked him to get another bag of food for Mitzi and drop off my prescription with the pharmacy.  I could have sworn that I mentioned to do it at the same time as picking Steve up but he came down this morning instead!

My FIL is great!

If you don't like spider's DON'T read this! Seriously!

I've just seen a huge (10ish cm) spider and didn' t freak out too badly... just used Steve's Grabatron to nudge it gently out of sight.

Twice.

That was the biggest spider I've ever seen that's resident in the UK (there are bigger ones in the zoo but they aren't UK resident) and I dealt with it alone!  Yay me!

Pagan religion - don't read this post if you are planning to use it against me!

I'm a Neo-Pagan.

I don't make a secret of it, but at the same time I don't shove it down people's throats either.

I believe in the Green Man as my God and Mother Earth/Mother Nature/Earth Mother as my Godess(es).

Other than the Neo bit of Neo-Paganism I haven't felt a connection with any sort of path within that bit of my religion until today.

I'm leaning towards being called to be a Heathen though... I feel drawn to it and it has, so far at least, fitted in with everything I've held dear to me since early childhood.

I was brought up in the deep countryside and literally hugged trees whenever I came to them if I was alone.  There was an apple tree in the garden at home that meant so much to me as a child, which I thought, at the time, was because the apples were ready for picking on my birthday every year... maybe it was my Higher Powers starting to teach me about Paganism in ways that wouldn't scare or overwhelm me though?

When Paganism was introduced into RE lessons at Secondary School, I felt a connection to it then too.

Was that my Higher Powers drip feeding me information with no pressure too?

Were they slowly introducing it to me until I found Paganism on my own and they are still drip-feeding me the information now, slowly but surely?

They are very powerful beings is all I know!

They are letting me find them when I'm ready too... no pressure, they are just gently guiding me by the hand.  They are going at my speed and finding ways to answer my questions that doesn't freak me out.

I'm so glad that I've now found them!

Yet again... :-(

M's just gone after putting the shopping away and yet again Steve gets credit for the things I've done and I get blamed for the things Steve hasn't done.  Yet again M's decided that because I don't have a job that I should be Steve's slave.

Steve's done 3 things in the last 7 days - he's washed up once, put the washer/drier on once and taken the bag out of the kitchen bin.  That's it.  I've done everything else but Steve got credit for it. 

Again.

Well, next week is the final week I'll put up with it.

If it happens again I'm going to look for a bungalow in Oxfordshire or Bristol and then M will see that she's been giving the credit and blame to the wrong people.

I won't divorce Steve 'cos I still love him but I want an escape route somewhere to get away from M's misplaced blame!

If you could divorce non-partners I would have done it years ago!  :-(