Saturday 23 June 2018

Didn't get any survey bods yesterday either, so...

That's 2 days on the trot that we haven't had any survey bods on the landline phone, so word has obviously spread that I waste their time as much as they were employed to waste mine!

Assuming we get a survey-free day today as well, comment on tomorrow's post with what your genuine interests are or what you genuinely want to learn more about and your email address then I'll come up with a list of questions for you to ask your next cold-caller.

If it's something I know very little about I may have to ask you questions to get a clearer idea of what you want to find out/how it works etc but if I do, please stick to the facts and give me as little personal information as possible so that I don't accidentally give out your information to your cold caller.

For example, if you're a bricklayer then I may ask you what happens in a typical day and how you're paid and things like that.  If I do, tell me something along the lines of "bricklayers build houses after the foundations have been laid by [insert foundation builder's job title here].  Bricklayers work as a team to build whatever is necessary.  We don't intentionally show our bums to the public but enjoy/hate the wolf whistles we get from the public.  We bring our own lunches but don't get an official lunch hour.  It can be anywhere between 11am and 2pm that it starts and it carries on for as long as it takes us to eat our sandwiches then we carry on laying the bricks.  A 2 storey house usually takes about a week to build after the foundations have been laid, then it takes another week for all the cement to dry properly and safely but the roof bods are getting ready to put the beams up for the roofers to put the roof on when the cement is dry then us bricklayers move on to the next job which might be building a car park or shop or whatever" kinda thing?  No identifying or personal information at all, just the facts.

It won't be a script, just the questions to ask them in the order to ask them and you need to start asking as soon as the cold caller takes a breath so that they haven't got the opportunity to start with their questions.

Be prepared for shock, anger and hanging up but do NOT laugh until they've hung up then don't hang up on your end for a few minutes just to run up their phone bill for the final time.

If your cold caller says something along the lines of "stop wasting my time" or whatever, your reply should be "it was you that called me to waste MY time" then carry on with the questions.

It's absolutely vital that you remain sweet, calm and polite with them 'cos that get's on their nerves and just imagine how stupid they would look to their boss if they complained about you to them:

Caller: "...then they started asking me questions about me!"
Boss:  "I see, what type of voice were they using to you?"
Caller:  "They were pure and sweet and polite"
Boss belly laughs at the caller for being so upset about being treated kindly.

The first question on the list will be "what's your name please?" they'll tell you.  Use a totally different name throughout the rest of the call.  For example, if their name is Alice, call them Susan... that gets on their nerves too but it's a simple mistake to make, right?  lol

There's a couple of sentences that you need to say before you start asking the questions so try and memorise them word for word so that you can say them while you're finding the list of questions.  There's also another one further down that needs to be said word for word so that you aren't gaining their permission, instead you're telling them that they've given permission.

I can almost guarantee that you won't get as many cold callers any more if you follow the list of questions and remain sweet and polite with them!

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