A couple of things, inspired by Facebook posts

In reverse order:  

The second bit is paraphrased 'cos my laptop froze and I can't remember who posted it or what the exact words were, but here goes:

 I've changed?  You must be mistaken 'cos you've never been bothered to get to know me as a person!

You've only ever seen the kind, caring, supportive friend who is always willing to listen to you, but you've never spent more than a maximum of 5 messages (and yes, I've counted) being there for me.  It's been going on for at least two years (that's how long I've been pondering on this, it's actually been going on for more like 35-40 years) and I'm fed up to the back teeth of it now, so starting in 2021 I'll treat you exactly how you've treated me for the last two years.

I'm bound to lose friends because of it, because they won't like how I'm treating them, but I've had as much as I can cope with now and if people want to stop being my friend because of how I'm treating them, then it's no skin off my nose any more.  It'll be the rubbish taking itself out 🤷

Taken me Calcium, eaten me lunch, gonna spend the rest of the afternoon...

...doing surveys and ligging around Facebook, methinks.

 

What a frustrating few hours!

Mornin' all.  How are you all doing❓

 

My day has been frustrating so far... started off by almost forgetting my pills, then almost forgetting the virus scan, then updating my homepage bits and bobs, then adjusting the exercise spreadsheet and couldn't work out how to get the downloaded file back onto the homescreen of my phone - turns out that I need to open it from within the email rather than downloading it 🙄

 

I've had me breakfast and Steve said he broke a plate, so we've only got 3 left out of about 20 now and can't afford to buy any more❗

 

Steve lent me 6p and I bet he'll want it back before the end of the week, even though he owes me £1839.96 since March this year... one rule for him and the opposite for me.  I've bought Steve's family gifts for their birthday's and Christmas for the last 2 years as well as paying for the groceries each week and electric each month, but Steve has claimed credit for all of it.  Well not any more.  Starting in 2021 I'll just get gifts for those who have got gifts for me the previous year, with the exception of our nephew's, so it's gonna be a very cheap year starting now.  Birthday gifts for our nephews, my mum and C and M's gift will be a week late.  Yule gifts will be for our nephews as standard, Steve's family won't be getting gifts and C, D, Steve and my mum will go by who gets me gifts this year.  I'm fed up to the back teeth of spending my money on them and they don't get me anything in return.  I'm also going to spend the same on them as they did on me the previous year... I'm fed up of spending more on them and getting barely anything in return.

 

Back-ups have just finished, sooo....

...I'm gonna shut down, unplug my laptop and put it on the floor so that the battery can have a break and a chance to cool down while I'm having me lunch.

 

TTFN.

 

It took 29 hours, but...

...my monthly virus scan has finished, so I'm gonna check my emails then do the back-ups.

Pills taken, box refilled, virus scan still going, so I'm just waiting for...

...my breakfast now.

 

I've taken my five daily pills and refilled the pill organiser/reminder that's still going strong after almost a year of daily use (it'll be a year on 5th December) which ain't bad going for something made of plastic and has meant that I've been able to tell at a glance if I've taken my pills or not❗

 

The virus scan is still only at 30% after more than 24 hours, so I'm thinking it'll be at least this evening before I can check my emails❗❗  It's only once a month though, so that's OK with me and I can read my emails online too, so that's even better.  Gonna do an extra back-up of everything when it's finished, assuming it's before 6pm 👍

Me breakfast is ready now, so I'll BBL.

It's taken 6 hours, but...

...I managed to pass the course eventually, so I'm gonna upload the appropriate pages and get ready for the SCBWI thing now.

 

Gave up on this morning's first course 'cos...

...I found it incredibly dull and didn't hold my interest at all, so I've had my lunch (minestrone zoop and bread) and I'm gonna try a different course this afternoon - I just hope it's more interesting than this morning's one❗

 

I've taken all my daily pills and I've got a SCBWI event this evening, if the link ever comes through 😃

I remembered about the...

...virus scan starting, so haven't opened my emails so far today.  Hope I remember to keep them closed until it's finished too!

Gonna check Facebook then start on another course I reckon.

Tomorrow, I've gotta remember not to...

...open either of my email programmes 'cos of the monthly deep virus scan, which takes 24 hours even with them unopened!  You watch me forget though 🙄 🤣

That's the day's studying completed

The assessment took 2 attempts, but I only got one question wrong the second time, so that's pretty good I reckon.  I've updated the appropriate pages and I'm not gonna study any more today, just gonna catch up with Facebook I reckon.

 

Not bad going really!

I decided to study after all and it's been pretty straight-forward so far... gonna have to put my laptop on the floor when my lunch is ready though, so might revise everything I've learned this morning before I take the end of course assessment... or should I just attempt it without revising like I usually do on the courses I study❓

 

Gonna put my laptop on the floor and take my Calcium now, just in time for when Steve calls me to get my 🍴 lunch from the kitchen.

Taken my morning pills, had me breakfast, got stressed out about...

...our internet connection dying on us mid-survey and having to reboot 3 times to get the connection back didn't put me in a great mood this morning, but all my prescriptions have been delivered now, so I can relax until mid-January.

Pondering on studying again, but not 100% sure yet... what do you reckon I should do please❓

 

My daily virus scan didn't pick up any nasties, thankfully.

 

Managed to finish studying 2 courses today and now it's time for...

...me to take my pills and head to bed.

 

Seriously struggled with today's two courses, but they are completed and passed now, so I can forget about everything I had to remember to pass the assessments now.

 

Steve's made me a hot drink, so I'll take my pills, drink the tea and head to bed for a reasonably early night I reckon.

 

Got the book review scheduled now, so just gotta remember to...

...put it onto Amazon and my homepage on 25th February 2021 now.  It's in my calendar, so hopefully I'll remember to do it.

Taken my daily pills and set the virus scan going, so now...

I can carry on with reading the book... the first 10 chapters were so dull and it would have kept the star if the backstory had been weaved in as opposed to dumping it all on my during the first 10 chapters.

 

 

Groceries have just been delivered and put away

I'm glad Steve brought the sugar through, 'cos there's no way I could have lifted it, let alone carried it all the way through to the kitchen... I can't even bring the bottles of pop through - Steve has to do that too 'cos I'm just not strong enough❗

That's it sorted until next week now though.

Taken my pills, eaten two meals, getting bored out of my tree with a book...

...groceries are due within the next half an hour and within the hour after that, then that's it for the day.

 

Had porridge for breakfast and hash browns for lunch today.  We'd ordered a 1kg bag of white sugar with our shopping today, but it's been replaced by a 5kg bag that's £2.75 more expensive and we've got nowhere to keep such a large amount either❗  Assuming that we manage to store it somewhere without it all spilling out and encouraging mice, it'll keep us going for the best part of 5 months, as long as it's not gone off by then of course❗

 

Steve's fast asleep with his legs up, which means that I'll have to answer the door and risk falling flat on my face and not being able to get back up.  I'm hoping that I'll get the last two boxes of my prescription tomorrow when Steve gets his delivered.

 

We've been invited over to Steve's family for Christmas now, but I wanna stay here and grieve for the first Christmas without a dog for 10 years... Steve doesn't seem to understand that though.

The weekly virus scan has just finished, so time to make a start on the back-ups now.

Put the email report from FitBit up on my homepage now

It's up several hours later than usual but it's ready for you to see now if you want to?  You can get straight to the page here.

It's taken 4 attempts and all afternoon, but...

...I've just finished studying my second course of the day.  Not gonna do any more studying now, so gonna use the few hours between now and when I go to bed to catch up on my emails and Facebook again.

Just finished studying my first course of the day

Just finished studying the Swine Flu course on Alison and the next one on my list is to learn about Pharmacy Practices... please keep yer fingers crossed 🤞 that I pass this course first time too please❓❗

Taken my daily pills, completed the virus scan and...

...decided which course to study today.  I'm just gonna work from top to bottom with each course from now on I reckon, with the exception of longer courses - I'll start those the next morning, but if they are under 4 or 5 hours long then I'll do them in the order that they are on my navigation page, so it's the Swine Flu one first off today.

Just taken my last two pills of the day, sooo...

...I'm gonna have a really early night, so I'm off to 🛏 beddy-byes to catch up on a bit more sleep in the hope that I don't wake up at 🕒 3am again.

 

Nite nite orl... sea ewe in the morning again 💤

 

It's taken all afternoon, but...

...I've finished the second course and given up on studying for the rest of the day, so I've just been catching up on my emails and Facebook, so I'm pretty much totally caught up now.

 

Gonna finish my coffee, have a few Oreo's to try and increase my calorie count, then take my evening pills and head to bed.

 

Passed my first course of the day

Just passed the "Human Health - Global Health Issues" course on Alison with a score of 80% so I just scraped through, by the skin of my teeth, but a pass is a pass so I ain't complaining❗  I've updated my navigation page now, so time to find the next course I want to study now.  Might attempt the Human Behaviour one to see if I can get my head around what the instructor is saying this time.

 

Steve's just told me that he's expecting a delivery today and seems to assume that I'll answer the door and bring it in for him even though he's my carer, not the other way around.  Well he'll have a shock 'cos I ain't going to the door so he'll have to go himself 🤷

Taken my morning pills, weighed meself and...

...put last week's spreadsheet up on my homepage.  I'm still free of nasties according to the virus scan too.  Had my breakfast so I'm gonna take the bowls through to the kitchen now and weigh myself again.

 

Gonna attempt to study again today... hopefully with more success than yesterday.

 

 

I think I deserve an early night tonight, soooo...

...I'm gonna take me pills, shut down and head straight to bed I reckon.  Nite nite orl.

 

Just done some...

...anchor tags on my navigation page so that it's hopefully easier to navigate to the different courses on each page now.

If I treated others the way they treated me...

...I can pretty-much guarantee that I would be alone after less than a week.

 

Studying completed for the day, soo...

...I'm off to beddy-byes now.

 

I've decided to give myself the day off from studying tomorrow and probably Monday too, so that I'm not interrupted with putting the rubbish and recycling out tomorrow and bringing it back in again on Monday.  If I do study, it'll prolly be with Alison instead of the New Skills Academy, 'cos they have the lengths of time it takes to study each one, so might choose a 4-5 hour long one or summat.

Already achieved a lot today

Just gone 🕥 10.30am and I've already finished the virus scan, checked the forum, had a look through Facebook, taken my pills and finished the first course of the day with a score of just under 87% and haven't even had my breakfast yet❗ 🙄 🤣.  Gonna have some porridge then make a start on the Python course.  I'm hoping it'll be as quick to get through as this morning's course, otherwise I'll have to keep studying again tomorrow and I can pretty much guarantee I'll have forgotten everything by then... I've gotta at least start it though, right❓

 

O.M.F.G!!

Just finished today's course and because it had 40 modules I thought it'd take me the best part of 2 full days studying and I was sure that it would take me several attempts to pass the end of course assessment too, just like with the child counselling course I studied yesterday.

 

Nope.

 

I finished it in about 8 hours with an hours break for lunch 🍴 half way through.  I couldn't remember anything that I learnt before lunch, let alone first thing this morning, just like with the counselling course I studied yesterday - that took 3 attempts and only took me a couple of hours to study it from start to finish, so I didn't think I stood any chance of passing this course at all, let alone first time I attempted it and with only 3 questions wrong, which gave me a huge score of 90%❗❗❗

 

I'm rewarding myself with chocolate 🍫, biscuits 🍪 and decaf coffee ☕... I think I deserve it and I'm sure there must be something wrong with their servers or the webpage or something, but I ain't gonna tell them in case they take my award off me and I have to go through the assessment again 🤣

 

I've put the certificate up on the completed courses bit of my navigation page if you wanna see it❓

Another selfish day again methinks

I've charged up my Fitbit, taken my morning pills, started and completed the daily virus scan and I'm gonna spend the rest of the day studying the Level 1 Java Certificate at the New Skills Academy.

Gonna be a totally selfish day today for a change I reckon

Afternoon all.

I've taken my pills, eaten my breakfast, checked my emails, completed the daily virus scan and I'm intending on spending the majority of the afternoon studying now.  I've already passed two courses and adjusted my navigation page so that it's up to date, so gonna spend the afternoon doing slightly longer courses and hoping that I pass those too.  Keep yer fingers crossed 🤞 for me please❓❗

Busy morning so far today

Woke up and came downstairs, started up my laptop and remembered not to start my email programmes, set the virus scan running, took my morning pills, had me breakfast and logged it in my Fitbit app, then had a phone call about my benefits... the person on the other end of the phone was shocked at how little we survived on each month, but he's willing to take on my case as long as my application is approved.  

 

My prescription turned up while I was on the phone, so Steve went to the door topless to get it off the pharmacy bod so they got a right eyeful this morning 😀 We got a couple of quiet hours before our groceries turned up, we put them away then came back in 'ere to discover that the virus scan had finished and I'm still free of nasties, so the backups are underway now, then Steve'll make a start on our lunches 🍴 and we can then relax for the first time today, knowing that we are pretty safe to assume there won't be any more callers either coming to the door 🚪 or on the phone 📞 and I'll be able to check my email for the first time today 😌

I'm pondering on studying one of the shorter courses this afternoon and potentially evening, but haven't totally decided about that one yet and if I do, which one(s) to study... I'm just gonna take the rest of the day as it comes now.

Blimey Charlie!

I'm loving the new parcel collection service from Royal Mail❗

 

We got a leaflet thingy through the post at the start of the month, which I would usually just bin, but I decided to keep this particular one "just in case" and I'm sooo glad I did.  I bought my first two yesterday for C and my mum's Yule gifts, 'cos there's no way in heck I could have taken them to the Post Office, so would have had to rely on Steve's dad or sister to post them for me.  I did it all online, printed the label things out and attached them to each package then waited nervously for them to be picked up today.

They've just been picked up and the Postie couldn't have been more helpful... he didn't even mind signing the bit of paper to say that he had got them from me... I can't recommend it highly enough and I'll definitely be using the service again❗

Thank you so so much Mr Postie and the Royal Mail❗

Missing Mitzi so so much right now

I thought I was coping OK with losing Mitzi, but I've just seen her collar, harness and lead on my way back from the bathroom 🚽 and I'm in floods of tears again.  😭

For those of you who only knew her when she was an old lady, let me tell you all about her and give you her life story while she was with us.  Settle back and get comfy 'cos this is gonna be a looong and emotional post.

When my father passed away the day after our anniversary back in 2010, Steve suggested that we rehome a dog from the Dogs Trust to help me with my grief.  I jumped at the chance and we drove over there that same weekend.

We looked around but couldn't find our dog.  I spotted Mitzi sitting in the back of her kennel looking all sad and ferlorn but because she only had half a body of fur, Steve really didn't fancy it, even when she came to the front for some attention.  I fell in love with her right then, but Steve was thinking about how expensive it'd be to have her treated, so I reluctantly agreed to keep looking.

When we went back to the desk and said that we couldn't find any dog that was right for us, the Dogs Trust volunteer asked what was essential for us in a dog.  We said a small dog that was house trained, the volunteers eyes lit up and said that she had the ideal dog for us, then disappeared and brought Mitzi back a little while later.

Steve was there thinking of money again and asked how much it would cost to treat her skin and get her fur to grow back.  The volunteer said that the Dogs Trust would pay for her entire treatment until she was well again, she just needed to be bathed with a prescription shampoo every other day that the Dogs Trust would let her chosen vets know about if we decided to rehome her.  I think Steve let out a relieved sigh or his eyes lit up or something at hearing that and he fell deeply in love with her straight away too.

We took her for a walk to see what she was like on the lead and she was absolutely fantastic.  The more time Steve spent with her the more he loved her too and we'd decided by half way that she was the dog for us.

 

When we took her back to the reception desk, we had decided that as soon as we had got everything ready here at home, she was coming home with us.

 

We told the volunteer that Mitzi had stolen our hearts and that she was going to be our dog.  I think the volunteer squealed with delight at that point lol  Apparently Mitzi had been with them for the majority of her life because of her skin and not having any fur so to hear that she finally had a home was music to the volunteers ears.  The volunteer said that all potential adopters had to go to a talk about looking after rescue dogs and how to help them to adjust to their new life in their furever home and that we would need a home inspection after that, but if all that was fine and dandy, then we could come and collect her.

She came home with us about a month or so later and immediately went exploring.  Decided that she would sleep on our bed instead of in hers, but that was totally OK with us because she was a member of our family now, so should sleep where the other two members of the George family slept.  She still had her bed here in the living room for during the day, but usually spent her time on the sofa instead lol

Happy months passed and her skin quickly improved.  Pretty much by the end of 2010 she had a thin covering of fur over her entire body again.

After about 2 years, Mitzi started to put on a lot of weight, so her vet prescribed her some obesity food and advised us to take her on longer walks to help her shift the weight.  That's when I started taking her out twice a day instead of just once, but her weight stayed the same and nobody could work out why.

She was on the obesity food for getting on for 7 years until a locum vet discovered earlier this year that Mitzi had issues with her thyroid, so she was put on meds for that and the weight dropped off her in under a month. She was put onto some senior food, 'cos she was 10 years old by that point and she was a happy puppy again, just significantly slower and less playful due to her age, but she was feeling more like the puppy that she had been all those years ago.

Literally a few months later, she went off any food we tried her on - wet dog food, dry dog food, moistened dry dog food, human food, salmon, tuna, scrambled eggs - she barely touched any of it.  The longer she went without eating, the more we worried about her.  Helen took her into the vets and they did blood tests on her.  The next evening the vets called with the results and you all know the rest... she was 11 years, 4 months and 1 week old when me and Steve made the heart-shattering decision to let her go.

She had a good life and was a happy girl until the last few weeks of her life.

I will always love and miss you, Mitzi T Doggington III

That's everything sorted until the New Year now

I've wrapped up the gifts, put my mum and C's gifts in postage bags and hopefully 🤞 arranged for them both to be collected tomorrow and hopefully delivered by the end of the week.

I'm not finding ways to avoid my grief at all, am I❓ 🙄 🤣

What would you prefer in future please?

I'm pondering on starting a new trend with my blog posts and I do, genuinely, wanna know your honest thoughts and preferences.

 

In future, would you prefer a couple of longer posts a day like I've done so far in November, or would you prefer multiple much shorter posts like I was doing before NaNo?

 

Either way is totally OK with me, I'm just interested to hear your views and opinions is all.  Do you want me to do the shorter "I've just taken my morning pills" and "I've just had a meal of..." posts that are usually a paragraph or so long but there are several every day because you get instant insights into my life as it is right then, or do you prefer longer posts that are just about the bigger things and only maybe a couple a day, like I've done so far in November (and like this one that I'm writing now)?  Would you prefer me to do like I did earlier in the year and combine them into one long post a day, but each post has multiple shorter posts within it?

I'm pondering on changing the default text colour of my posts away from black too... what do you think to that too please?  I prolly won't change the look of anything other than the colour of the text, but if you all want me to change the colour, hopefully that'll be easy enough to do.

Please leave me a comment in reply to this, letting me know your thoughts... you can remain anonymous if you want to, but I'd love to know who my readers are, just by their first name, so that I can feel less like it's a robot reading my posts instead of a real human being.  I appreciate every view, I just want to be able to put names to you instead of just having numbers... "I wonder how Jo Bloggs is today?" or "I wonder if Eric has read this post yet?" rather than "oh cool, 10 people have read that post, I wonder who they all are and what they thought to my post?".

I promise that I, personally, don't collect any information about you... I just want to get to know you all as people rather than numbers!

It really is final now...

...Steve's cousin (the vet nurse who was with the puppy as she made her final journey) has just brought the puppy's collar, tags, lead and poo bag back and taken her food, prescribed pills and about a kilogram of dog biscuits back with her, so there really isn't anything else to come back to us now and all we have are our memories of her.  

 

She really is gone forever now 😭

I've got nothing to stop me from grieving after finishing NaNo and the other book I've spent the last 2½ writing to avoid the pain.

RIP Mitzi T Doggington III 💔

Sorry that I haven't updated this blog for the last 10 days, but...

...I did say it would be one way or the other when our senior puppy dog crossed the Rainbow Bridge, so it's seemed to be radio silence from me.

 

Hopefully things'll return to normal again soon though.  Thank you for your patience and for those 11 people who have read each of my last two posts here.   The increasing number of reads has definitely helped me to feel supported over the last 10 days, so I hope you will all continue to read from now on too.

As of this morning, I've started wearing my keys around my neck again, which got me to wondering if anyone happened to know of a place that offers personalisable key rings... ideally of a dog bone that I can engrave with the puppy's name and life dates so that she will be with me whenever I wear my keys but I'm not in the right headspace to know what to search for, so I was hoping for some recommendations from you, my blog readers, ideally UK based if at all possible.

I'm gonna write my first ever biography for JanNo, covering the puppy's life to hopefully bring my grief out instead of staying in denial and avoiding thinking about never seeing her again.  I'm thinking it'll be a POD book, rather than a traditionally published one and it ain't gonna be for children, possibly with the exception of older YA, but there will be stories and memories and waaay too many photos of her in it.  I loved her so much and didn't appreciate her love and support anywhere near as much as I should have done, so the biography will be my gift of love to her.

If you're a pet parent, make sure you stroke and kiss and talk to that pet more than you already do, because you never know when there won't be any more tomorrow's... we certainly didn't.

One exteame or the other for the next little while.

Our senior puppy dog has just crossed Rainbow Bridge so there will either be loads and loads of blog posts or very few for the next little while.  No matter which it is, please understand and forgive me.

 

Haven't updated this blog so far in November because...

 ...I've spent all day, every day writing my NaNo novel and haven't done much else.

 

I've remembered to take all my pills every day so far, and the writing is on target for finishing before the 10th this year, which is awesome, but we got some awful news this evening.

 

The puppy went to the vet at 11am this morning because of her not eating and it was far from good news.  Basically there is something seriously wrong with her liver or kidney (Steve was understandably too upset to remember clearly) that's been going on for a very long time.  We were given 2 options:  try her on fluids for 48 hours to see if that helps or to make the hardest decision we've had to make in her life.

She's not happy and is in really bad shape right now, but the vets are trying her on fluids for 48 hours then taking it from there.

If the fluids *do* work then there's a good chance that the problem will reappear again in future, but she will hopefully be feeling more like herself and on a different food especially for her illness.

If the fluids *don't* work, then apparently it would be kinder to send her on her final journey.

We both agree that she shouldn't be alone if that happens but we don't have any transport to take us to the vet.  In an ideal world, a vet would come to the house to do it, so that the puppy is as comfortable and relaxed as possible, instead of being scared and alone at the vets.

We're just taking it moment by moment now and hoping for the best.