I've taken my pills, caught up with emails and the forum, about to have a read through Facebook then I'll get on with the first news of 2021 and be able to, in theory, have my first solid meal of the year for lunch too, if the mixing bowls that Steve ordered yesterday turn up in time.
He used the voucher that my mum sent for both of us to get things just for him so far and I used C's voucher for kitchen things that he's been using ever since... the last thing I bought for myself was a bra (that was under a tenner, including delivery) at the start of October and literally everything else has been for Steve, yet he's had no problem spending the entire voucher that my mum sent for both of us totally on himself. I'm totally fed up of him being so selfish, but there's nothing I can do about it without being sighed at and accused of being "arsey".
It's the same with groceries and the electricity and hot water too. I pay Steve for the electricity every month, yet he gets the credit for it because the account is in his name. I've told him so many times that the groceries "can't be a penny over £45 a week otherwise I'll go overdrawn" yet it frequently is and the majority of it is his stuff (on average £38 of the £45 is meat and dairy that I can't have) and all that is mine is 8 bottles of pop and a couple of boxes of instant soup a week in November and January, but he still expects me to take things off my very limited groceries each week, so that he can add more of his own stuff.
I'm paying for the electricity so turn off things that aren't being used, yet Steve's got an electric chair and leaves his laptop on 24/7 even when he's asleep or out of the house. I leave my laptop for longer than 12 hours a day once a month when I run the deep virus scan.
Then there's the water. It's an emersion heater that apparently uses up a significant amount of electricity to heat the water, so it's turned off now. I turned it on, with Steve's full knowledge, on 23rd December so that I could have a hot bath on 24th December in preparation for going over to see his family on Christmas Day. I eagerly ran the bath and got in, but the water was barely tepid for some reason, so I shivered through a very quick, rapidly cooling bath, then got out and got dressed. Steve commented on the speed of it and asked if I'd had a good bath. I explained that the water was barely tepid for some reason and he admitted that he'd done the washing up with hot water at 4am but had assumed that it would have heated up by the time I came to have my bath.
He's got a delivery coming today but seems to assume I'll answer the door when it comes, yet he's my registered carer, not the other way around.
I'm so fuckin' fed up of it, I really am.
I'm gonna lable each ranty blog post from now on so that you can avoid them if you want to, or read them with interest if you're nosey 😜.