It's been more than a year since I last posted here, but...

... I'm going to try and remember to post in here at least once a week as of now!

Quick update - I've been diagnosed with:

chronic a-typical psychotic depression
with self-harm tendencies and suicidal ideation

endometriosis

non-alcoholic Korsakov Syndrome

 

mild brain damage

dairy allergy

 

It wasn't easy to get all those diagnoses, especially the Korsakov Syndrome and the brain damage and the dairy allergy was pretty hard going too, but I'm still here and I'm glad my illnesses have a name now!

 

My memory is shot because of the brain damage and I use a quad to walk but I've been awarded DLA until 2018 and I'm going to get myself 2 wheelchairs with the money.

 

Why 2 wheelchairs?

 

The first one is to get me used to being out on my own... the seat rises 6.5cm so I'll be able to go to my GP on my own and go to the bank and stuff but it only goes 6 miles on a full battery charge so I'll need to charge it every other day... it's two months DLA money as I don't pay tax on things to help with my health and I'll use it while I save up for my ideal chair which goes a huge 25 miles on a full charge so I'll be able to take our dog on longer and more interesting walks and I only need to charge it up once a week!

 

Just need to stop spending now!  lol

 

 

I'm in tears

I've just gone through my twins site, saving all the pages ready to edit and update them all.  I thought I'd learnt to cope with my loss of Angelah and Angeloh but I haven't - the pain is still there and I still cry at the thought of never seeing them again.

They would have been 16 years old this month if I hadn't lost them back in 1996.

What would they look like?  What would their hobbies be?  What would they want to do as a career?  What would they want to when they left school - would they want to go to college or go straight into a job?

Oh I don't know.  I just wish I could spend one day with them to let them know how much I love and miss them.

*sad sigh*

I'm feeling...

I'm feeling incredibly proud of myself right now!

I've just summed up the courage to open a letter I've been dreading all day in case it was to demand a payment again.

The letter *was* from a debt collection agency but they weren't demanding money, they were just confirming a direct debit I set up with them on 15th March and letting me know that the last payment would be around 15th April 2024!

I know that seems forever (or at least it does to me right now) but it's only 11 years away and I haven't got the credit card in my purse any more so I've got no way of spending any more on it either.  I just hope they don't send me statements and that they just take the money every month otherwise I'll crack and want to spend money instead of paying it back!

I've just got 2 more credit cards and 3 store cards to pay off now (although I think 2 of the store cards have already been paid off).

I'm never ever getting credit again.  If I want something but can't afford it then tough luck!  I'm never getting into this pickle over money ever again... it's not worth it!

Please don't take your health for granted!

What does it feel like to be healthy?  I genuinely don't remember  :-(

When I first moved to Gloucester, I was happy, sane and healthy.  I had 2 jobs that I loved and was walking about 5 miles a day, had my favourite food (jacket potato with cheese and baked beans) for lunch every day during the week, I could eat what I liked, when I liked and I could leave the house and socialise and go window shopping etc etc - I so wish I hadn't taken that for granted now!

Now though, I'm pretty much house-bound and I hate it!  :-(

I'm saving up for an electric wheelchair to hopefully get me out of the house and give me back some independence but it's slow going!  I've got £300 saved up so far so I'm less than half way there  :-( 

I just want my health and independence back!

I'm just a grumpy cow tonight so I'm going to bed now and hope that I wake up in a better mood tomorrow!

Nite nite orl!

What a great start to 2013!

Just had to share something that I've achieved in the last 18ish hours!

I'm a member of a thyroid forum and I worked out how to add a photo to my profile at about 1am but couldn't work out how to get an Avatar to show up to the left of each of my posts... not any more though! 

I've now got an Avatar and a profile picture of our Westie, Mitzi, from soon after we re-homed her and she's looking straight at you in both pictures!  So adorable!  I'm so glad she chose us back in 2010!

Happy New Year everyone!

My Next Big Thing blog hop

I'd like to say a huge thank you to Terri Dryden at http://tdryden1.wordpress.com/ for getting me involved in this!

Here are my answers to the ten questions  :-)


What is the working title of your book?  Unsuitable for adults over 16 years old

Where did the idea come from for the book?  I’ve had the inkling to write my first fantasy novel for a while but NaNo provided the ideal opportunity to write it this year (2012) and I’m glad I did… I could let my imagination run free for 25 days!

What genre does your book fall under?  Teen fantasy

Which actors would you choose to play your characters in a movie rendition?  I’ll leave that up to the casting people!  It would be interesting to see how they created the Humirrels!

What is the one-sentence synopsis of your book?  Step into Cloudland and let Ishy introduce you to adventures into places deep within your imagination!

Will your book be self-published or represented by an agency?  I’m hoping an Agent will be willing to take me by the hand and lead me in the right direction!

How long did it take you to write the first draft of your manuscript? 25 days

What other books would you compare this story to within your genre?  Enid Blyton’s Faraway Tree books – I loved them as a child and the book has been quietly whispering to me ever since!

Who or What inspired you to write this book?  I read a fantasy book on the Writer’s Bureau’s Writing For Children course and ideas have been popping up ever since then!

What else about your book might pique the reader’s interest?  If you’re a teen who is into gentle fantasy then pick up this book and have a read of it!

Next up in the blog hop are:

Kate Warren - www.katewarren.weebly.com
Melanie Winrow - http://writing4oneandall.weebly.com/melanie---blogs.html

Fed up of being ill/disabled

I used to be really healthy, walked 5 miles a day alone and could eat whatever I wanted without putting weight on.  Now though, I can't even get to the end of the street without help from a quad cane on my best days and I can't leave the house at all on bad days  :-(

I'm the exact opposite of how I used to be and I don't like it one little bit  :-(

I've asked my GP to refer me to an Endocrinologist to see if I'm hypothyroid and for an electric wheelchair too... don't hold your breath about either of those though!

All I want is a diagnosis so that I don't feel so alone with this c**p and the wheelchair would mean that I could take Mitzi for longer and more interesting walks too.  There's a park that I reckon she will love exploring and it will do me good to get out of the house too!

Ho hum!

I guess I should put something positive here as well as the whining... it's not a big deal to most people but it's a huge step forward for me... I can now swallow medium sized pills without crunching them up - you watch, I  won't be able to do it now!  lol

Our little puppy is amazing!

We've just had the shopping delivered again and Mitzi was an incredible little girl the whole time!

After her running out of the door several months ago I've been paranoid about her doing it again so I hold on to her collar while Steven moves the bags into the house then closes the door and I take the fridge and freezer stuff into the kitchen.

Spectacular moment number 1 was that she jumped off the sofa and went down the hall when the food arrived so Steven asked her to go back into the living room, which she did, then jumped onto the sofa and sat down.

The second spectacular moment was even better than that... Steven asked me to take some rubbish out to the bin while he put the shopping away so I asked Mitzi to stay and opened the door while I put the rubbish in the bin. The door was wide open and there is no way that either of us could have stopped her if she'd made a run for it but the wonderful little girl stayed exactly where she was until I came in and closed the door!

She's just such a special little girl and I'm so glad she is ours!

I'm getting impatient lol

It's only been three days since I emailed an independent publisher about the books I'm writing and first off I was nervous then realised I'd made a mistake in the email so I sent another one apologising but I still haven't heard from them so I'm thinking I'm in their slush pile (or whatever it's called) before even sending one of my manuscripts!

I told you I was getting impatient! lol

OK, so it's been less than a week but I just want to know that they are willing to do a bit of hand-holding is all. I'm tempted to find their phone number and try calling them tomorrow but I don't want to get on their bad side so I probably won't

How long should I wait though? I just want to know if they are interested in reading the manuscripts or not!

Mitzi is...

Mitzi is our little pup... a Westie that we re-homed from Dogs Trust back in July last year and she is wonderful! Our food shopping has just been delivered and our little Mitzi just sat there watching TV - the thought of running out of the open front door didn't even cross her mind!

Not many dogs would do that even if they'd been trained but Mitz has only been trained to obey "stay" and she is amazingly obedient considering she's only 20 months old!

I gave her a biscuit as a reward for being so obedient and we'll need to get her another box of biscuits soon! lol

Everyone should have a Mitzi in their lives!