I've just done a bit of mental maffs on my over budget so far this week and I've already consumed over 3,000 calories over budget and we're only on Wednesday, so I'll hopefully get to around the 5,000 mark by the time I head to bed on Friday, then another 2,000 at the weekend which is hopefully a pretty much guaranteed weight gain on Monday.
My mood is starting to lift again and I haven't needed the 5-HTP after all today and it's past the point of taking it now otherwise I won't be able to sleep, but my mood is starting to lift so I'm gonna have a few more chocolates which'll hopefully steer me away from more self harm.
The OCD has been negligible today and the suicidal thoughts haven't been too bad so a pretty good day all in all!
Tomorrow is gonna be weird 'cos I won't be alone in the house for a while for the first time since 10th December 2022 and I won't be able to use my computer while s/he's here so that'll add to the weirdness, but the battery lasts all of 15 minutes so it's pointless leaving it on. I hope s/he doesn't mind black tea and coffee 'cos I haven't got any cow's milk here lol
Time to crack out the chocolate I think. My mood is around the 4-ish kinda level so that's not too bad.
No comments:
Post a Comment