Mornin' all

Well, I slept badly again overnight, so I've woken up to another 2.  My blood pressure was a bit high at 120, but my 11 morning pills all went down fine, brushed my teeth and I've had my first solid meal of the week too, so I'm ready to start off the new week with a full belly now.  I forgot to weigh myself before I had my breakfast, but it's done for another week now.

I've got a delivery due today and I'm hoping I'm wrong, but it could potentially be a late night for me 'cos they only dispatched it an hour ago and I'm not gonna change the bed this week, unless the delivery gets here before lunchtime.

The virus scan was clear, so time to get my first meal of the week up on here and Instagram now, while I wait for my recycling to be emptied.

I'll BBS

Mornin' all

Yet again I was wide awake as soon as my head hit the pillow when I went up to bed yesterday so I'm still feeling like poo, but never mind eh?

My 'Morning Sability' score is 2 again, so no laps or exercises today, my blood pressure was low this morning at only 103, I've taken my pills and had my breakfast but I'm not gonna risk having a bath today otherwise I risk falling asleep in the bath and drowning, which I really don't want to happen.

I'm charging up my fan, my HLTH band and my Visible atm and I've remembered to fill up the bottle with squash too.

I'm expecting a few deliveries today and I'm in desperate need of caffeine after 2 days without it and barely sleeping, so that's what I'm gonna go and do now.  The daily virus scan was clear, so I'll be able to sort out my morning admin when I come back.

BBIAB

My delivery is due...

...in the last hour-ish of lunchtime today so I won't be able to have lunch again today and I've got a medical appointment just before they close for lunch on Friday too and get travel sick so won't be having anything for lunch on Friday, as well as expecting a delivery on Friday and Saturday.  The only days I can potentially eat this week are Wednesday and Thursday so my OCD is telling me that it's not worth opening the packet of me-friendly hot dogs, just for two meals, so I'll be having protein bites for lunch every day this week instead of anything better for me.  I'll also put the sweet potatoes onto Olio so that they don't go to waste.

I hope I'll be able to eat properly next week!

Mornin' all

I thankfully had a pretty decent night's sleep last night, so I gave it a rating of "Fair" in my Visible app and I've got a 'Morning Stability' score of 3 today, so I can do my laps and other exercises for the first time this week.  I've only needed to rush to the bathroom once this morning before taking my pills (I usually have to go twice, so maybe my bladder is being kind to me today??) and taken my blood pressure (111) and then popped my 11 morning pills with my only breakfast.  I decided against having a solid breakfast because I'm not hungry and my weight on Monday means that missing one meal is no probs.  

I started off the virus scan at 5.38am and it's already at 58% so I'm gonna put today's to-do list together then make myself a drinking choccie methinks.

BBS

I've decided...

...to put the bread onto Olio as soon as it arrives and put 'Toastie' bread onto my next grocery orders to see if that makes it darken up a bit.

I've got 3 cartons of barista milk and some protein powder waiting patiently to be used, so I'll have that instead of toast when I've finished off the current loaf and start again with the toast next Wednesday.

This afternoon feels like...

...the perfect opportunity to catch up on all of the housework that I've missed this week now that I've got a free afternoon available and a smidgen of motivation starting to appear.

I'm gonna start with the smallest and easiest to tackle first, the bathroom, then take it from there.  Maybe the vacuuming after that 'cos that's a quick and easy job, then the kitchen 'cos that should be the next easiest, then I'll tackle the living room, then the main bedroom and then the hardest, most soul-destroying room of the lot - the spare room - methinks.

When I do the kitchen, I've gotta remember to sort out and wash up the glasses and whatever else is in the last cupboard so that I can advertise it all on Freegle.  The only things that I won't have done then will be the top shelves in all the upper cupboards, purely because I can't reach them so will have to ask M or A to haul all those things down for me to sort out at some point.

It's too...

...late for lunch now, so I'll just have a drinking chocolate instead of anything solid now and then have an early tea of a plum and an easy peeler.  It'll be the same again on Thursday, but I had to be ready for my delivery which has only just arrived, so I won't be having anything for lunch after all.

I just hope that I can eat tomorrow, Friday and Saturday is all lol

Up to...

...page 198 now and it's the start of the dark times so I'm gonna take a break for a while and reply to my best friend's email before my mood gets dragged into not-good places from reading about the start of the slope.  I'll hopefully get a bit more read after the email, but right now I need to take a breather to keep myself safe.

I'm up to...

...March 2026 with the photo deletions now so I've still got a loooong way to go, but I'm getting there slowly.  Gonna have a bit of a break from it now while I wait for my first delivery, then start again after it's arrived, been opened, possibly used and put away.

The eggs went to the Olio-er bang on time so I've just got the ones in the fridge now then I won't be getting any more.

I've just tried...

...to put my tea photo up and I'm still having the same problem I was this morning, so I'm gonna delete all of my meal photos and starting tomorrow I'll just post them on Instagram.

If you wanna see my meal photos as opposed to just text, my Insta ID is foodfotos4amanda and it's where all my meal photos will be from now on as well as all of my past ones.

If...

...I can't get my tea photo up in the same way that I haven't been able to get my breakfast photo up, I'll just keep putting the photos onto Insta rather than here on my blog, so if you wanna see photos of each of my meals, you'll have to follow me on there.  It's like the photo equivalent of Facebook except that Insta is mainly photos and occasional videos and Facebook is mainly text.  I'm wondering if I need to take photos of my meals any more anyway now that I'm a widow (so don't compare the size of my meals to Steve's) and I'm also carer-less now (so I don't need proof of how little I ate).  Maybe I should just post photo's of new-to-me meals and experiments and things like that on here??

Nite nite orl

I don't care how risky it is tomorrow, I've been pushing myself too hard, too fast and too often for the last couple of weeks and I'm gonna sink into a hot, deep, lavendar-scented bubble bath tomorrow (as opposed to the shallow, warm, plain water of last week) and I'm gonna be treating myself especially gently.  I've still got a busy few days at the start of next week (big Freegle collection on Monday, groceries on Tuesday and weekly virus scan and backups on Wednesday) but nowhere near as bad as the last couple of weeks, thankfully.

I'm gonna look after myself soooooo gently for as long as it takes me to recover now.

I've popped my last two pills and I'm gonna head on up to beddy-byes in the hope that I'll fall asleep as soon as my head hits the pillow tonight.

I'll see you all briefly in the morning.

Nite nite orl

It's now, officially...

...mince pie season, apparently <drool>  I've got 6 boxes of mince pies on next week's grocery order, so I'll be able to snack on a box of those each day instead of crisps and chocolates.

I don't celebrate Christmas or even Yule any more (because we lost Steve at the Pagan equivalent of midnight on Christmas Day) but I'm not gonna turn my nose up at the sugary delights of mince pies and treat-sized chocolates lol

I've decided to keep having the Weetabix instead of toast for breakfast during the colder months so that there's enough room in the freezer for my lunch proteins now that I'm allowed to eat properly for lunches.  Gotta try and remember to snack on toast rather than crisps until the loaf is finished so that I can get a bit more room in the freezer after that.

Instead of...

...tackling an entire cupboard or counter or room or whatever at a time, I'm gonna break it into much smaller tasks and just aim for a shelf or drawer at a time so that it's not so overwhelming.  I've already started today's shelf and offered something to one of my regulars and I know that there's a loose bottomed cake tin and a square cereal/ice cream bowl left then that's all done and dusted.  The end is in sight now, I've just gotta take things carefully is all.

I've decided that...

...because I was so far into the 'safe zone' on Monday with my weight, missing one meal won't do me any harm and I'll definitely have toast for tea.  I had a solid breakfast too, so I'll only be missing one meal and I've got some me-friendly meal replacement shakes if I get hungry too.

The potatoes have started to sprout, so I'm not gonna risk it and my second reason for missing lunch today.

The first load of laundry has just finished so I've gotta sort all that out too as well as putting the third load in to wash and dry then put away, so it feels like Gaia is giving me all of these reasons to miss my lunch today.

No lunch photo today, but there will be a tea one for potentially my last meal photo of the week.

Today's the day!!

I'm gonna try, for the first time ever, air-frying a sweet potato.

My limited research is telling me that it's 200c for 35-45 minutes and that I've gotta wash/scrub the potato, pat it dry, poke it with a fork coat it with a thin layer of oil and turn it half way through for even cooking.  I'm gonna use the air-fryer spray as opposed to liquid oil like it says and keep my fingers crossed.  One of the recipes says to use vegan butter on the cut potato but I'm gonna see how dry it is when I've cut it open before I decide.

Wish me luck!!

Nite nite orl

It's another late night again tonight, but hopefully it'll be the last one for a little while.

My deliveries eventually turned up and I've put them all away now, just need to invest in a spice rack and cooking oil syringe tomorrow before I meet up with my best friend.

I've got an Olio-er due at 5pm tomorrow to pick up her things so it's gonna be bedlum tomorrow lol

I'm not gonna be exercising or having any caffeine tomorrow, no matter what my 'Morning Stability' score is.

I'm dead on my feet, but it's just this week and next week that's so busy.

The side effects of my pills are rapidly kicking in, so I'm off to beddy-byes now.

I'll see you all for a little while in the morning in between scrubbing myself clean for the first time since Sunday and having my breakfast.

Nite nite orl

I'm...

...absolutely knackered after waiting up for yesterday's delivery and only just getting 6 hours of sleep, so I'm gonna take my pills then head straight on up to beddy-byes for an early night tonight and I'm really hoping that I'll be asleep as soon as my head hits the pillow tonight!

I've finished the editing now and I've made a start on Steve's bank statements so I'm gonna try and do a bit every day with that so that it's not so overwhelmingly frustrating for me.

I'm gonna have a peach instant tea tomorrow after breakfast and me-friendly creamy hot chocolates for the rest of the day 'cos I need and deserve both of them!

Can someone remind me to put the vegan mayo onto Olio tomorrow please?  I'm gonna keep eating the fruit for my lunches so don't need it any more and don't want it to go to waste.

I'm also expecting my Omegas to turn up tomorrow and they are due around lunchtime, so it'll be early exercises (assuming my 'Morning Stability' score is high enough) and a late lunch of 2 apricots, 10 cherries, a banana and a large pear tomorrow.

Mornin' all

Well, after my delivery arrived so late last night, I dragged myself on up to beddy-byes.

I managed 6 hours of sleep according to my HLTH band.

I'm feeling really rotten today after such a late night and not taking my APs so barely sleeping.  My 'Morning Stability' score is 3 so, even though I technically can do my laps and exercises, I know I'd end up on the floor unable to get up, so I'm not gonna risk it today.

I've taken my blood pressure and it was 109 so at the high end of my normal range.  My morning pills have been popped and my breakfast eaten and the washing up done.  The daily virus scan was clear, so I'm gonna get my breakfast photo up, then today's to-do list, then hopefully finish the read-through and any last minute editing of my memoir today.

I wanna go through Steve's bank statements and come up with a spreadsheet of his incomings and outgoings so that I can see what he really spent his money on when I paid him for the vast majority of household bills - I know it was £70-£100 a day on porn and that he paid for private shows at least once a week at about £1000 each too, because it was his last transaction before going into hospital then passing away, so I wanna see the exact numbers.  It'll break my heart but I need to see just what his payments were for so that I can put that part of my grief away.  I'm dreading it, but I feel like I have to find out the truth once and for all.

Time to get the breakfast photos resized and put up on this blog and Instagram now, as a slow start to my day I reckon.

BBS

I'm gonna try...

...going to bed at 7pm and waking up at 5am for a while so that it's a slightly more sensible bedtime.  They are the times I used to work to when Steve was alive and I'm hoping it'll only take a few days to get back into that time frame again.

Wish me luck!