Mornin' all

So far this morning I've run the daily virus scan (still clear, thankfully), taken my morning pills and cared for my carer for almost 2 hours.  We're having a gorgeous roast lunch and pud delivered today, so I'll be devouring that like a shot (unless there's gravy and custard, in which case it'll be my second calorie-free day) then spend all afternoon groaning 'cos I'm bloated lol

I wanna try and plan out my NaNo22 novel today so that it's done and dusted for another year.  I had so many ideas for it two days ago, but I've forgotten them all now lol

Not sure how many blog posts there will be today, there will be one of my lunch and pud though, so look out for that this afternoon!

Cold, hungry and in pain right now, so...

...I'm gonna head off to bed for the night now 'cos I've taken my last pills of the day, so I'm gonna head to bed now.

Nite nite orl.

Next week's grocery order...

...breaks down like this:

My stuff:  £8.61
Steve's stuff:  £22.59
Joint stuff:  £10.76

So yet again, Steve's stuff is considerably the most expensive (as in more than double) and I'm making a prediction right now, at 6.31pm, that it'll be my stuff coming off to make room for more stuff for Steve to add before bed-time on Monday... strange how it's never his stuff coming off to make room for the joint stuff or, Goddess forgive, something that's just for me.  

He had the entire order of over £48 to himself on Tuesday and he's only used one of the things from it, so he's sorted for meals but I'm not and we've got no more room left in either freezer either, so he'll be able to make meaty meals for himself and I'll be going hungry yet again, but I should be used to it by now, right?

Totally calorie free day today because...

...my carer doesn't want to cook after his brunch and "I'm saving myself for tomorrow's roast lunch nom nom" so today will be the first day that I go totally hungry. I'll have a roast lunch tomorrow (assuming there's no gravy or custard on it) and I'm predicting that I'll only have 2 or possibly 3 meals all next week.  It'll hopefully help me to get down to my ideal weight quicker though lol

Over 3 hours of care already this morning...

...plus yesterday's 9 hours and 4 minutes, already takes us to over 12 hours in 2 days.  I won't make the 35 hours this week, but I reckon it'll be about 30 hours in 3 days so I won't be that far off the minimum in 3 days and my carer hasn't even cared for me for 1 minute so far this week.

I've already missed one meal today and my belly has been rumbling, but my carer doesn't seem to care about that, as long as he gets over 10 hours of sleep a day and over 8 at night as well, then that's seemingly all that matters.

I don't count the night time sleeps 'cos I'm neither down here nor awake, so that doesn't count as caring to me, but from about 5.15am until about 8pm I'm caring for my carer pretty much non-stop.

He's just come out of the bathroom, so I give it under 10 minutes before he's asleep and I'm caring for him again.

Time to get myself another glass of water before then though... my 4th of the day so far, but I'm trying to stop myself from feeling nauseous through hunger 'cos that'd mean having a few squares of crystalised ginger so I'd have calories without my carer cooking and it'd give him even less reason to cook "because you feel sick/have already eaten"

Mornin' all

First proper blog post of the year that isn't ranting and raving about something or other lol

How are you all doing this morning?

I've been up for over 2½ hours so far and I'm trying to remain cautiously hopeful that I'll be able to eat today... trying to keep a positive attitude about it lol

I've taken my morning pills, caught up on my emails and Facebook (although I've gotta remember to post my memories before too long) and drunk 750ml of water so far today.  It's my first full day of only eating when my carer cooks (other than Sunday's celebratory roast of course!) and my only hot drinks'll be when my carer makes them so I could, potentially, have a high water intake again today and I bet I'll be shivering all day without a hot drink inside me or the heater on.

Someone on Freegle agrees with something I've put on my profile too, so that gave me a small boost of reassurance that I wasn't just being a bitch when I wrote it lol

The money for my Graze box was taken yesterday, so I'll be able to scoff those four punnets next week on the days my carer doesn't cook, so I'll have a few calories going in to me next week at least.

Talking of food, I'm hoping it'll be pasta 'n' sauce for lunch today 🤤 but I won't believe it until it's on a plate in front of me and I've taken a photo of it for you all lol

Apparently I'm bringing in and putting away the top-up shop, so I'm making a prediction right now, at 8.02am, that I won't be eating or drinking anything (other than water) today... wonder how long it'll take to shock my carer into cooking again?

I've just been told to bring the empty bags through to give back to Marie and to put the top-up shop away, so I'm thinking that my prediction will be spot on and my belly is starting to rumble already, so I'm hoping that'll guilt my carer into cooking at some point today, 'cos I'm certainly not gonna make any food or drink for myself after him telling everyone at every opportunity that he makes all my food and drinks for me, so I'm gonna hold him to that and if I lose too much weight from not consuming many calories then so be it.

Very nearly time for...

...me to hit the sack in my own headspace for the first time this year.

I'm slowly closing all my programmes, but didn't wanna up and leave without saying my usual nite nite to you all and I'll see you tomorrow for the first day of the new year without writing for me.

I'm already yawning, so I'm gonna head off to beddy-byes now.  Nite nite orl.

As of now...

...I'm back with my regular daily blog posts every day.  

 

I'm already being nagged by someone on Facebook about how they are coping and feeling and what they're doing and thinking, despite me telling them that I had only just finished what I've been doing for the last week and that I would need time to reconnect with real life after living in the head of a fictional character for the last 7 days.  As soon as I replied to their message, the usual lengthy messages started again, so I'm making a new rule for myself this year - if you are so selfish that you can't even ask how I'm doing and respond to my reply more than once a week, I'm putting you on a break for 30 days and if you're still the same when I remove the break, you are being blocked.  I don't like the thought of doing it, but I don't appreciate being bombarded with PMs within seconds of me replying either, so if you can't respect me and my time then it's gonna be goodbye this year.

I've made an early morning decision this morning

I'll hopefully finish JanNo just before lunchtime today and I've decided that, for the rest of January, I'll only be eating when my carer cooks the meal, so no biscuits or soup or chocolate (other than for my reward when I've typed the final full stop) or cereal or anything else unless my carer cooks it for me.

If he tells the truth about cooking, there will be 48 photos by the end of January, right?  I'm predicting that, in reality, there will be less than ten and most days I won't have a single calorie going into my body at all.  I'd love to be wrong, of course, but I don't think I will be.

I'm also only gonna be drinking water unless he makes an even rarer hot drink for us both, with the exception of the squash when I take my pills 3 times a day, so there really will be zero calories going into my body on the days he doesn't cook or make drinks.  I'm fed up of him claiming credit for things he doesn't do and he "don't want to be treated like a dog with the rewards" so I guess it's finally got down to having to use the shock factor.

Time to knuckle down and write those final two chapters now, then it's PARTY TIME!!!!!!

 

Just a quick rant

Other than cooking meals for both of us, I only ask my carer to do 8 other things in 52 weeks:

1. take the recycling out during NaNo
2. take take the rubbish out during NaNo
3. bring the empty rubbish sack in during NaNo
4. bring the recycling containters in during NaNo
5. take the recycling out during JanNo
6. take the rubbish out during JanNo
7. bring the empty rubbish sack in during JanNo
8. bring the empty recycling containers in during JanNo

 

My carer didn't do any of those four things during NaNo21 and he's just said that I should do it during JanNo22 as well, so basically I'm gonna get absolutely bugger all care out of him this week 'cos he won't be cooking ('cos I have instant soup for lunch during NaNo and JanNo so that I can keep writing) and I'm predicting right now that I won't be getting any help to bring in his entire grocery order on Tuesday either - at best he will move it from one side of his body for me to take through to the kitchen and put away because he's "too tired to help, sorry" the same as every other fucking week.  It's entirely his food and drink next week 'cos apparently I'll be writing so it's the best part of £50 worth of food that I can't have and I'm predicting that the majority of that will go to waste too because my carer will be asleep then it'll be too late/he won't be motivated to cook, so I might as well just put £50 down the drain again.

 

Rant over, time to attempt to get back into the writing headspace again now.  I'm hoping that I'll be finished on the 7th, but if I've gotta get out of my writing headspace again then I very much doubt that'll happen.  I was awake at 2.30am and was hoping to be able to knock out 10 chapters today, but it's looking more like another 8 because I've spent the best part of 3 hours doing things for my carer that he's more than capable of doing himself.  I ask for his uninterrupted support for under 20 days a year, but in the last year I've been interrupted every single bloody day then he complains when I wake up and come downstairs in the early hours to try and catch up on the time he's forced me to miss 😡