I'm not medically qualified, but I reckon it was the AD that was making me suicidal and the Zyprexa zapping my motivation 'cos I haven't been even remotely suicidal since coming off the AD, even after we lost Mitzi, which would have pushed me over the edge usually. I took the Zyprexa for the first time in years last night and I had the most disturbed night since my Fitbit was bought back at the end of 2019 and I seriously struggled to get out of bed for the best part of half an hour, yet yesterday morning and pretty much every morning before that, I woke up and got up as soon as I was awake and had the motivation to tackle the next bit that I needed to tidy up in the bedroom. Literally the only thing that changed was taking the Zyprexa, but it took over two hours to achieve what I achieved in about 45 minutes yesterday.
We've only just had our breakfast, the best part of 3 hours later than yesterday and I can't be arsed to do anything this morning, but I had endless motivation 2 days ago! Cheaper was definitely better for me with the AP and it's cheaper for the NHS too.
This morning's virus scan was clear again so I've just gotta summon up the motivation to get the news sorted and do my exercises now.
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