⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ out of 5
Every book I read and review starts off with the full five stars and I start every book with an open mind and hope that it finishes with the five stars still firmly in place. This book is no different, so lets get on with reading and reviewing it!
I've got the Kindle version and Penguin Random House are a huge, well-known publisher, so I'm hopeful this book will give me a glimpse into the lives of those living with domestic violence. I never have, fortunately, but my heart goes out to all those who have and please make sure that you're in a safe place with support available if you need it before you read any more of this review and especially the book.
I like that the author has put a trigger warning before the first chapter starts - that's reassuring and makes me hopeful that the rest of the book will be supportive too.
Wowsers! I've just read the introduction and first chapter and it's been incredibly intense and well written. I was wrong at the start of this review when I assumed it'd be about domestic violence... it's more than that and I feel it's filling a huge gap that has needed to be filled for too long, so I want to thank the author for taking the initiative to write it.
I'm immensely proud of the author for including men as being the victim at only 4% of the way through! Most people seem to forget that men can be assaulted too so I'm glad that the author has brought it up so soon in the book... I'm hoping that it'll be more than just that sentence and that it'll be talked about in equal detail to female and non-binary assaults too!
The first chapter was truly incredible and I hope it's an indication of the quality of the rest of the book. I'm gonna stop reading now, purely so that I don't emotionally overwhelm myself, but I'll be reading it again tomorrow. I was approved to read this in advance of its publication on 13th August 2021 by the publisher and right now I recommend you only read a chapter or two a day so that you don't get overwhelmed either. So far it's been a definite must-read for me though and each of those five stars it started with are still firmly in place.
Mornin' all, I'm back for the day and I'm wondering if it's just the resolution (or whatever it's called) of my Kindle, but the first letter of the first word is considerably larger and on a line of it's own which is a touch difficult to read. The new chapter starts on the same page as the previous chapter ends too... is that how all Kindle books are or is the first star wobbly already please?
Chapter 3 was an intense and slightly worrying read. I didn't realise that choking had become such a normal thing to do during sex and that some people don't respect their partner's dislike of it. It takes a large amount of courage to say "no" so it's awful that some people don't respect their partner enough to immediately stop as soon as the request is made... consent is everything and some people don't feel comfortable enough to assert themselves so each partner should be aware of how the other person is feeling. Is it really so hard to ask "does this feel good/OK?" or even just more generally "is this still OK with you?" and instantly respecting the choice if there's even a glimmer of doubt for either partner!
A quick bit of advice - this isn't an instruction manual, obviously, but "rough play/sex" and BDSM are regularly talked about so please be aware of that before you get this book. It talks about them honestly and consent is totally necessary but not everyone wants to read about kinky sexual encounters - it isn't graphic with descriptions at all, but if your mind tends to wander at the mere mention of that kinda thing then please be very very careful.
Gonna read one more chapter before my lunch - so much for last night's advice to only read a couple of chapters a day eh? lol
Up to chapter 10 now and the previous chapter was almost entirely about race rather than helping me to understand about sexual things that I have no experience of... I started reading this book expecting it to be about domestic violence but it's been all about sex up until chapter 9 when it suddenly turned into race with barely anything about relationships... almost like the author felt they had to put in a chapter to prove how inclusive they were?
Just finished reading chapter 10 and that was mostly about race too, so I'm getting mightily confuzzled now - is it a book about domestic violence (as the title made me wrongly assume to start with), sex (as chapters 1-8 made me think) or race (as chapters 9 and 10 are making me think)? Unless the author makes up her mind and sticks to it in chapter 11 and beyond, that first wobbly star is gonna fall off. Don't get me wrong, it's been good so far, but I'm not sure where the author is going with her book - it's changed direction three times so far after all!
Chapter 11 is back to LGBTQ discussion which is more like what I was thinking than the previous two chapters, so the fifth star is still just about hanging on, just not as firmly as it started out and I was hoping for, unfortunately.
Ah-ha, back to sexual relationships now, but with people who are disabled this time, so I reckon those couple of chapters about race/ethnicity were likely a part that either the author or publisher felt needed to be in the book so that everyone felt represented. I'm 56% of the way through and up to chapter 13, so I'm hoping for around 60% before I take my last pills of the day and maybe 70% by the time I head to bed... let's see what happens before setting it in stone though.
The second half of the book is maybe more about relationships than sex judging by chapters 12 and 13 which I reckon is a bit back to front... the way I see it, the race bit should have been at the start, then the relationships and finishing with the sex so the book seems to be back to front for me, sorry.
Just read about up-skirting etc and the lack of law surrounding it and it was a necessary addition but pretty dull compared to the rest of the book so far. It's not even 6pm yet, so 70% seems pretty do-able before I take my pills again.... maybe even 75% before I head to bed!
Not quite 75% but I'm 72% of the way through, so I'm thinking I should be finished well before I head to bed tomorrow so that I can put this review up in the appropriate places. The fifth star is still there, it's just teetering unsteadily so I reckon that this'll be a 5 star review unless something happens in the last 28% of the book tomorrow.
Right now I reckon the title of the book is misleading, but maybe that was deliberate? If it had been a better title then I wouldn't have been so confused at the start and the race bit, I personally reckon, is unnecessary, but that's just my own personal opinion, as is this entire review lol
Good morning again everyone. I've done everything I need to do on a Monday morning, so I can settle in to finish reading this book until our groceries are delivered now.
Just finished it with literally 5 minutes to spare lol
The last few chapters were good, but not as intense and well written as the first few. Still a five star must-read by everyone, and I stand by what I said at the start about it filling a huge gap in the market, but the fifth star is wobbly instead of solid... still very much hanging on by its fingertips though!
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